driving pt.2

[theizzard]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have a ride for tomorrow's ride to get a cat scan. I am so thrilled I can't tell you. My faith is restored and this gives me 5 more days of recovery before I have to drive. Yeah~!!
avis

[Linda W]

Avis,

I am happy that you are not driving tomorrow to your CAT scan appointment. I did not drive until 5 months post op. I drive forward very well, but turning to check for on-coming traffic while merging or backing up continue to be tricky for me. You are a Wonder Woman driving so soon!

Asking for help is not something many of us do easily because we are always trying to appear stronger and more independent than we may actually be. I was lucky to have a very supportive group of friends and neighbors who took turns driving "Miss Crazy" to appointments, grocery shopping, etc. However, 5 months of not driving was a long time and there were some occasions that I had to ask others for help and I agonized over having to ask. I was really surprised and gratified at how willingly they responded. Many people hold back and wait for someone to invite them to help out -- perhaps because we keep telling them we are "fine" and like you, we also want to be Wonder Woman.

I'm hoping the CAT scan is routine and not in response to the pain and discomfort you felt after your recent walking experiences.

Take care,
Linda

[theizzard]

thank you linda, i would prefer not to drive but I really have almost no support. my husband works a long day and has been away on weekends. i have asked people to help and they have turned me down outright Your are right it's very hard to ask for help. Thank God I am strong because it is really painful when people turn you down with no concern for my feelings. i emailed someone who i thought was a friend who I have known since junior high school and asked her if she could come visit next weekend and after turning me down, she rudely told me the only way to communicate with her is by phone and not email. The worst part of it is i keep second guessing myself and wondering what I am doing that turns people off to me. The kindness of strangers and people on the internet has by far been the most supportive for me. You have been very kind to me as has lovestoskate. I would do anything for the two of you because of your kindness to me.
avis

[Susie*Bee]

Avis-- I am so sorry that you don't have a good support group. I can't imagine someone turning a person down who has been through major surgery. I have found it interesting in the 1.5 years I've been on this forum to read from others as well that the people they thought were there friends did not act as friends, so don't think that you alone have this problem. But one forum member said that others who she hadn't really considered her friends came through for her. Maybe you need to call someone who is more of an acquaintance and see if that person will help.

I wish I had some kind of solution to offer in procuring rides. I don't know if there is such a thing as transportation for the elderly and disabled-- taking them to appointments, etc. Like with those little mini buses, etc. If not, then there should be. Can you contact your doctor's office and ask if they know of something? Or can you inquire with your insurance company? Best wishes as you tackle this problem. Hopefully someone on the forum may know something...

[CHRIS WBS]

Support from your church

If you are a member of a church, most churches regardless of denomination have ministries that offer care-giving support for those in need. My church has such a ministry that consists of volunteers who offer to do errands for those who are home bound or recovering from surgeries, need rides to doctor appointments, light housekeeping duties, and so forth. While I did not have the need to prevail upon this service, it was a comfort to know it was there if I needed it. When I returned to attend Mass at my church for the first time following my surgery, I was in my brace and still using a cane. I was touched by the number of people who approached me and gave me their phone numbers telling me to not hesitate to call them if I needed anything. My co-workers too were most kind and checked on me periodically and offered to get groceries or help in any way they could.

[LynnMarie74]

Very glad to hear you got a ride!! And so sorry to hear that you are having a diffcult time w/help....that just isnt fair. I couldnt have imagined this recovery w/o help. You are an amazing woman Avis!

[Jo 71-09]

Avis, I hope your appointment went well today. I'm glad you found a ride. It must be hard to have your husband away so often after all you've just been through.

[loves to skate]

Avis,
I'm glad you found a ride and hope all went well for your test. Wish I could be there to help. My church family was wonderful to me preparing meals and such. Sometimes friends just don't understand what you are going through or they tend to shy away from serious stuff. I don't know why but it has happened to me way in the past when my daughter was seriously ill.
Love coming your way. Sally