PDA

View Full Version : OKAY, time for A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM for scoli survivors ...this is for the SUMMER!



Chihuahua Mama
06-14-2008, 01:38 AM
I've decided that ALL our best collective minds should come up with some sort of song or diddy that we can carry to our idividual bathrooms after the procedure of scoli surgery considering our limitations and all the holidays coming up in July.

We can enourage ourselves to hobble to various outhouses, public restroom, etc. with our own little Scoli anthem that will encourage us to GET THERE and do our business (when it actually may take some TIME) when we'd really rather be home.

But, who wants to miss children, fireworks, picnics and some not so bad alcoholic beverages, hmmmm??????

I mean...sort of the National Anthem of back surgery recovery, and the OBVIOUS consequence:

"Oh say can you see? The turtle peeking out...
What we so strived to accomplish...and the fiber water fights.....

The bombs bursting inside....which so proudly we know, are a true measure of our recovery.....

"O'r the ramparts red glare, on national holiday...
Instead.....we sit. Looking vainly for Ben Franklin's aid to constipation....

OUr familys are BBQing....our kids are full of chlorine...our Husbands are Drunk and we fight to just poop....

Oh say this is a miserable way for the maker of great macoroni salad....for the land of the Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (as in stool) and the home of the Brave............

PLease jump in anytime and make corrections or leave me out in the open for the buzzards to pick my eyes out.

Okay, it's lame...just a minor attempt at humor. Pretty minor...but don't hold it against me. I have effin A/P surgery on Monday with THREE (count 'em THREE) entrances. May God help me me do my business!

OH, and 3 glasses of wine tonight. Methinks God will understand.

skoshi314
06-14-2008, 04:46 AM
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry! My intent was not to give you just one more thing to worry about (like you don't have enough already) I was simply having a pity party and invited you all along. Please forgive me if I have in ANY way added to your anxiety.

HOWEVER, that has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read! Please forgive me for being graffic but I' m sitting in the hospital bathroom-waiting-and I'm laughing hysterically! My husband thinks I've totally lost it this time! You, my dear, are a poet!

I have got to get my laptop tomorrow because I'm trying to do this on my phone and it's just not easy. When I get it tomorrow I'll post more.

JoAnn5
06-14-2008, 09:21 AM
ROFL!!! I even caught myself humming the tune along with the lyrics....lol
I can't top your song.

txmarinemom
06-14-2008, 04:24 PM
Susan ... you missed your calling. I'm just not sure where - LMAO!

(I'll get back to you on that)

While the anthem was great, I actually CHOKED, laughing, when I got to "PLease jump in anytime and make corrections or leave me out in the open for the buzzards to pick my eyes out.".

Once again, I'm reassured you're going to do juuuust fine ... and PWI (Posting While Intoxicated) is WAY allowed in the near pre-op - LOL!

Love ya,
Pam

Chihuahua Mama
06-14-2008, 05:22 PM
I have some advice for anyone closely approaching surgery who has decided to succumb to any sort of substance to aid in their anxiety....

STAY AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. DO NOT POST ANYTHING YOU WILL BE EMBARRASSED FOR LATER. And if you do? At least make sure it rhymes.

This is speaking from one who didn't! Oh well, glad it gave a laugh. BTW, for anyone wondering about the macaroni salad reference, I make awesome macaroni salad on the 4th of July and was in mourning for the fact that I won't do that this year.

Sheesh :o

Chihuahua Mama
06-14-2008, 05:37 PM
HOWEVER, that has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read! Please forgive me for being graffic but I' m sitting in the hospital bathroom-waiting-and I'm laughing hysterically! My husband thinks I've totally lost it this time! You, my dear, are a poet!

Skoshi, of all the times I hope to give you a good laugh, in the bathroom just makes my day. I'm glad you enjoyed it - your hubby will just think it's the pain meds - don't worry about it.

Get well soon, m'dear.

Soon we'll be comparing war stories!

debbei
06-15-2008, 07:28 PM
Skoshi, of all the times I hope to give you a good laugh, in the bathroom just makes my day. I'm glad you enjoyed it - your hubby will just think it's the pain meds - don't worry about it.

Get well soon, m'dear.

Soon we'll be comparing war stories!

Heck Susan, don't worry about it! God knows what I'll be posting when it's my time. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope you get a good night's sleep.

ca-native
06-15-2008, 09:12 PM
Hi Susan,

You have a GREAT sense of humor!

I'm sending a cyberhug your way and wishing you all the best on your upcoming "straightening". ;)

We'll be thinking of you...

Take care,

Chihuahua Mama
06-15-2008, 11:26 PM
I'm actually doing pretty good tonight - packing's done, I ate a HUGE meal at my favorite seafood place (halibut and chips and clam chowder) and am just waiting for the extremely OVERDUE anesthesiologist to call.

It's 9:25 pm and still no call. I think that's very rude, but then again, he's in charge of the gas tomorrow, so I probably won't say anything. I'll take my phone to bed with me but if he catches me under the influence of ambien? then it's his bad, not mine.

So there.

I feel very, very positive. Thank you to my positive friends and you know who you are!

See ya on the other side :D