View Full Version : My Final Post

06-05-2008, 04:19 PM
Hi folks,

Iíve been asked to leave the forum so this is my final post. I seriously want to apologize to anyone I may have offended while I have posted here. Pam, Iím sorry for my recent post targeting you and further adding fuel to the fire of what has been a string of nasty posts. I think hormones and pain have gone amok. But I want to make one thing perfectly clear. First, I have never used this forum to gossip about another member or smear anyone here through the PM system. No one could ever prove that I have. Second, I have never made up any comments relayed to me by a doctor. Everything I have stated is factual. The doctor (whose name I was demanded to release) said what he said, and I remember leaving his office wondering why anyone would consent to such an awful and risky surgery. In hindsight, what I encountered was a seriously distressed surgeon who experienced his first paralysis victim in what was a long and successful career. I thank those who have pointed out my negativity. I take that as constructive criticism and something I seriously need to work on. Iíve fought depression all my life, and people with this illness tend to look at the glass half empty rather than half full.

Seriously, this forum was a real God send to me when I stumbled upon it almost three years ago. At the time, I felt the collapse of my spine and didnít know where to turn. God steered me here where I found answers. Linda, I want to thank you for your recommendation of Dr. Gupta when I asked you for any suggestions. I was at the University of Chicago Medical Center all day yesterday having my pre-op work done and then met with Dr. Gupta. He is a wonderful surgeon with such an engaging personality. What a calming spirit he has and just his presence helped to allay my fears. I must share something with you. When it became clear to me that surgery was inevitable, I prayed and asked God to then lead me to the doctor who can best treat me. After seeing Dr. Bridwell, I was convinced he was the one. But then something happened. The very day I returned from St. Louis I received a call from Dr. Guptaís office. It was his nurse Maria asking me how Iím doing. I met with Dr. Gupta three months earlier. Maria suggested I return to have bending film taken. After I got off the phone, I asked myself if God could be telling me something here. The following month I returned to Dr. Guptaís office for the bending film. While seated in the waiting area, I prayed and asked for a certain sign before I left the place to let me know if this was the doctor God was leading me to. Well by golly that sign was given to me shortly after I exited the building. God did indeed answer my prayer by telling me there was no need to go to St. Louis for surgery when thereís a great surgeon right here in Chicago who can treat me. All tests are completed now except for a CT-myelogram next week and then itís surgery on June 23.

I want to wish all of you who have surgeries around the corner all the best for a safe and successful outcome and I will keep you all in my prayers because I DO BELIEVE in the power of prayer. And lastly, I want to thank Karen Ocker who has been a constant source of encouragement and inspiration to all of us.



P.S. to Marie. Yours was the last post I read and what an eye-opener it was for me. If anyone has a right to feel bitter and angry and sorry for herself, it is you. But instead, what came across in your post is an attitude of gratitude. I thank you tremendously.

06-05-2008, 04:25 PM
Good luck in your surgery, Chris.

I can't imagine facing this surgery with depression.

I hope you come back and report on your recovery.

Best regards,

06-05-2008, 05:48 PM
I agree with the post that this is not a forum for religion, there are alot of them on the internet. As a mother looking for information on scoliosis I do not feel that this is the place for personal attacks or preaching. We are all in the same boat and need to support each other. I am a firm believer in the power of god as our family has been through some very rough times over the last few years but I do believe that our strength comes from within ourselves and the positive attitudes around us(non of this crap is positive or helps anyone in anyway). I don't think depression is a excuse for rude and unacceptable behavior. There has also been comments that people who have had surgery years ago should move on and I strongly disagree, if it was not for these people we would be missing out on the very purpose of this forum, to educate and support. Based on the post I have read I think most of what Chris has posted in non-productive and should be ignored. This is the first and last time I will comment on this issue. Chris I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the help you need to deal with your issues. Lets get back to why we are here.

06-05-2008, 06:20 PM
Chris, I know you're doing the right thing by having this surgery. I send you all best wishes for a successful surgery and a speedy, uncomplicated recovery.

06-05-2008, 06:48 PM
Who asked you to leave? I have been severly busy and no time to read much. I ask you tooooo stay! Bet other folks will to.
I send my best,

06-05-2008, 06:55 PM
I hope anyone who has scoliosis, or any parent of a kid with scoliosis, stays.


"I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member." -- Groucho Marx

06-05-2008, 07:08 PM

I want to also extend my best wishes to you for a successful surgery and recovery. This forum was so invaluable to me in the months, then weeks, then days leading up to my surgery; I am sorry that you will not have the benefit of that.

But, I truly believe that you need to surround yourself with everything positive before this huge process, and I understand why this may not be the place for you right now.

I also hope that you will make a post to let us know how you are doing post-surgery.

Truly wishing you the very best,

06-05-2008, 08:50 PM
Chris-I wish you all the best for a successful surgery and recovery.
I have not followed much of the forum lately but sure wish you would stay. This forum really helped me immensely thru this surgery. Nobody understood my fears of this surgery except here....Ly :)

06-05-2008, 08:51 PM

I would like to also add my best wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery. When I first joined this forum several months ago, you were one of the first to respond to my posts and to make me feel welcome. I thank you for that. All the best to you.


06-06-2008, 07:06 AM
Dear Chris,

I wish you the very best for your upcoming surgery and would like to hear how you do. I am sure you will have a wonderful outcome, correction and will be very pleased with the results.
Everyone on this forum is hurting or is dealing with the physical or psychological trauma of having scoliosis or that of their children. It is a life long problem even with correction and has to be dealt with on some level. Anyone with these issues belongs on this forum to share information and gain support from others who understand the issues and problems involved. The correction of this condition is gruelling and difficult even when caught early, and it is rare enough that often there are few people in families or the community who can give the support that you get on this forum. These issues include the physical, psychological and social. Without the forum, people are isolated, and are left to deal with these tough issues alone which can lead to ineffective solutions. On a forum like this, people will naturally disagree from time to time. This should be done respectfully and differences should be resolved constructively without the need to chase anyone off the forum.
I ask you to stay, Chris, and am very sorry that some discussions got so negative. Things can always be turned around and constructive solutions found recognizing people's rights to respectfully disagree. I know you have travelled a very long road to reach your decision to have this surgery, and I would hate to see you abandoned at your hour of need. However, as someone said, you do need positive support at this time not more trauma. I wish you well and hope to continue to hear from you. Rita

06-06-2008, 07:11 AM
Chris-- Wishing just said what I am thinking too. (How'd she know my mind????!) My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope that we can continue corresponding. I'll write you more later-- have to run now. Hugs, Susie

06-06-2008, 11:25 AM

I hope you stay on the forum because, as so many others have said, it is an amazing resource for both before and after surgery.

I agree with Wishing that this disease can be traumatic, both physically and psychologically. When I was in rehab immediately following discharge from the surgery hospital, I was visited by a very kind psychiatrist. He explained that spine surgery patients are very likely to suffer depression and that it is routine at that rehab hospital for psychiatric observation to be ordered in those cases. Also, when I was later hospitalized for my stomach surgery, it was noted in my chart that I was visited by a psychiatrist (I don't remember this at all) and that I was depressed. Duh ... who wouldn't be ????

My point is that feeling depressed about having this disease, both before and after surgery, is not uncommon. Please continue to share in the discussions here if that gives you comfort.

Best wishes for a very successful surgery and an easy recovery. Please keep us informed.


06-06-2008, 12:22 PM
I'll be praying for you- I know God will bless your faith in prayer (hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes)- you seem to have a peace about your surgery and your surgeon and I know where that comes from. We'll all be thinking of you! God Bless-

loves to skate
06-06-2008, 01:20 PM
Hi Chris,
I don't know you very well since I am fairly new to the forum but I agree with "wishing" and would urge you to stay. None of us are perfect and I would hope that everyone would be willing to forgive and forget whatever and whoever said what to whom. Life is a journey and we all have lessons to learn. Just because we have a fight with someone doesn't mean we have to take our marbles and go home, so please stay with us. When is your surgery because I want to pray for you? Sally

06-06-2008, 04:12 PM
Dear Chris,

You seem to be going to the surgery with the right attitude. :) Every case is so unique, the needs are all so different and unique also. I wish you all the best for a speedy recovery.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'll mark the 23rd and send a prayer.
I would like to hear from you after the surgery.


06-06-2008, 04:36 PM

I wish you would stay as well. This is the time when you need people around you to encourage you, especially those who have gone through the same experience. I can't help you out there as I am new to this whole thing, but I hate to think of you going off like that. I think that a broad range of emotions has to be natural for anyone going through something like this.

Take care of yourself, and I will be praying for you on your surgery date.

06-09-2008, 02:08 PM
Hi Chris- sorry I haven't been reading a lot lately, but who on earth asked you to leave? Please don't stop posting here- I will be praying for your surgery and recovery, I know your faith will help you endure whatever out Lord has in store for you. please let me know how you're doing , after surgery, when you're able to get on the internet again. May God bless and protect you- and may He guide the surgeon's hands!
In Christian love,


06-09-2008, 03:52 PM

but who on earth asked you to leave?
I think it was ca-native in the Moved "Nonsense", etc, etc thread. Edited to say that I have no problem with what ca-native posted - I never stated that I thought the post was wrong - I was merely answering the questions of those interested as to why Chris felt she should leave. I have no problem with ca-native, have never heard of him/her before, have no history (that I can recall). I have looked and can find no other post in which Chris could feel that she had been asked to leave. I said "I think" because it was what .... I thought! And probably still think - but not with malice or anger. If anyone has any better suggestion, please feel free to share. To be honest, I am not terribly interested - just a bit bored with being set upon by the hyenas.

Chris, Please don't leave! I think you could do with our help over the next few weeks/months and I know that we could do with yours!

I am not religious but have no problem with your faith. Please continue to be active here. I understand you're feeling hurt and maybe even a little chagrined. Please try to draw a line under previous posts and responses. Sometimes this forum can be a little unforgiving; errors of judgement can be jumped upon & posters vilified. You are not the only one to have suffered this fate recently.

For goodness sake we all make mistakes! (Don't we??)

Please do not drive away people who we can help and who can help us.

I appreciate, Pam, that you would have been offended by Chris's post but I know that you are strong enough to deal with it.

Let's try to get on a little better. pretty please??

06-09-2008, 04:16 PM
I'll state it again:

"No one should leave this forum for any reason, no matter how bizarre. Except mabye spammers."

It's was my judgment that you are not a spammer. So I hope you will stay and we can all try and work through this. I hate to see kids or even adults fight, or even kids fighting adults. Sorry if my stubborness fueled this as well, I'm human and make mistakes and everyone should have that freedom on this site.

Please stay.


Also, you WILL need everybody here for support in the coming weeks so please think before you leave, also things read off of print often can come across differently then they were meant. I've experienced this many times and it's a simple matter of not instantly judging how someone is speaking, so please stay. I know I've probably done it as well many a time.

06-09-2008, 04:31 PM
I'll state it again:

"No one should leave this forum for any reason, no matter how bizarre. Except mabye spammers."

It's was my judgment that you are not a spammer. So I hope you will stay and we can all try and work through this. I hate to see kids or even adults fight, or even kids fighting adults. Sorry if my stubborness fueled this as well, I'm human and make mistakes and everyone should have that freedom on this site.

That spammer comment is really funny!

For what it's worth, I'm on a few health related boards (who says you can't cure yourself over the internet :D ) and in the past month or so, after several months of no problems, huge disagreements have broken out on all of them. The other boards have calmed down now, people who felt they should leave have returned and peace has been restored. Maybe it was something in the air.

I do hope the original poster's surgery goes well and that she returns if she needs support - this really is a great board, usually incredibly informative, and I'd hate to see personality differences change that. Thanks to all of you who have posted information on here - there are many of us benefitting from it, even if we don't post to thank you specifically for each piece (consider this my all-encompassing thank you :) )

- Sarah

06-10-2008, 10:37 AM
Chris, I also agree with all who urge you to stay on this forum for all the reasons everyone has already stated. I felt very alone in dealing with scoliosis until I found this site - it has been a huge help, and I hope all the loving responses you have received to stay will be a source of encouragement to you. I am a believer as well, but I agree this is not a forum for religion and preaching; however, we can stay true to our faith when our actions and words and edifying and uplifting, and by praying for others. Thank you for sharing your struggle with depression, and I will be praying for you. I wish all the best in your ongoing health journey.

06-10-2008, 12:03 PM
I think it was ca-native in the Moved "Nonsense", etc, etc thread.

If you "think" you know who it was, but cannot say or prove it for sure, then please don't speculate and specifically name someone who "may" be innocent and may very well NOT be the cause of another member leaving the forum.

We have a saying in this country "innocent until proven guilty".


06-12-2008, 02:24 AM

I want you to stay too. I have seen a lot of good people leave this forum over the past few months. This is very upsetting to witness since it seems to be because of a few of the same forum members over and over.

You are facing a big step in your life and you came here for help with / to discuss your scoliosis issues.

Don't go.


06-12-2008, 07:31 AM
I have seen a lot of good people leave this forum over the past few months. This is very upsetting to witness since it seems to be because of a few of the same forum members over and over.

Could you support your "theory" with more than supposition, Ruth? That's a bold claim.

I've stayed quiet (and will return to that stance on this topic), but do you even know what facilitated this thread? What you think "seems to be", posted *here*, is more than a tad ironic.

The nature of this forum - any forum - is people come, people go.

I bear no ill will towards Chris (in fact, you'll see I listed her in my well wishes for pre-ops in another thread), and there IS no hidden agenda, conspiracy theory, mass exodus, or whatever you're insinuating.

How many "good people" (lurking newbies) do you know, Ruth? Do you realize how many "good people" have *almost* ran screaming in terror from the misinformation posted here - and would have if they'd not contacted various people and were calmed enough to stay? Do any of us know how many just left without a trace - or a word?

How exactly (I'm really quite curious) do you quantify the terms "lots" and "over and over" in your post above? And how *can* you possibly when your post *also* includes the phrase "seems to be"?

You once posted (shortly after my arrival here) you refused to discuss anything with me because I was "too aggressive" for you.

Whatever your personal view of me, *my* view is passive-aggression, from anyone, is unbecoming. I think we're all big girls and boys here; say what mean, please. It's not really that difficult.


06-12-2008, 07:49 AM
Yes, Pam - I seem to recall that myself and a few other moms had to create an entirely NEW website a while back in order to be able discuss VBS with newbies without certain people sticking their noses in on a topic they new very little about and stirring the pot "over and over".

(Now THAT claim I can substantiate just by going back and looking for the threads - it happened dozens of times).

Maybe those people had to get their kicks somehow and tried to kick us around for fun. But, being thick-skinned, we (those whose posts kept getting hijacked) did not cry foul about those people who were trying to run us off and shut us up.

It seems like those making the accusations have NOTHING to back them up (like the post accusing ca-native with absolutely NOTHING to substantiate that claim).

Ruth - it seems like every time you post you have to try to bring personalities into it. If you have no other agenda and TRULY want to make the forum a friendlier place, then please refrain from doing that.

ENOUGH already.

06-12-2008, 05:29 PM
Here we go again.

Have edited, just to say that I have edited my previous post, if you are interested. Have a look, you may find some more ammunition.

This is so boring.

06-12-2008, 06:20 PM
I was thinking this thread was going to be a good one for Chris to read AFTER her surgery, when she might venture back to the forum without the stress of her surgery still in front of her. There are so many nice well wishes and all. Unfortunately, it has gone sour... :( I understood what Laura was saying--she just was trying to answer the question, not provoke more heat. Can we just end this, please?

06-12-2008, 06:33 PM
Here we go again.

Have edited, just to say that I have edited my previous post, if you are interested. Have a look, you may find some more ammunition.

This is so boring.

Okay, to stop the guessing let me (ca-native) clarify a few things:

1) I wish all the best to Chris WBS. Yes, we are all here to support each other during our scoliosis journeys.

2) Some truly scary posts were being made by Chris WBS; for whatever reason I don't know. The bottom line is: if I was a newbie pre-op and those posts were the first thing I read, I would have been scared out of my mind for my daughter. Also, several other people communicated on this forum that those posts were not beneficial, indeed harmful to someoneís well being as they headed into surgery.

3) Once again, I sincerely hope Chris WBS does have a successful surgery but this ďMy Last PostĒ thread is on the dramatic side and watching all the begging for her to come back is interesting and frankly, disconcerting with the remarks made about me, ďca-nativeĒ. So disconcerting in fact, that I removed my daughterís pre and post-op pictures as well as the when and where information about her surgery when negative remarks started about ďca-nativeĒ. So as people are posting for Chris to come back has anyone considered how I might feel when all I was trying to do is request a member stop the frightening posts for the benefit of the newbies?

4) Last of all, I find it quite intriguing that anyone would think I have the power to cause someone to leave this forum. If I had that kind of ability to mind control people I would start a TV show and make a ton of money!

And RugbyLaura, I agree Ė this is boring. If it will bring an end to this thread, Chris WBS come on backÖ

06-12-2008, 07:55 PM
Well said, ca-native!

I too find this boring - I'd much rather be supporting newbies, encouraging those facing surgery, etc. That IS what this forum is for, after all.

06-13-2008, 12:09 PM
I just think it is such a shame that you feel you must leave the forum.
This is suppose to be an informational and supportive site and it is a pity it hasn't continued to be that for you.
I hope it was not just one member asking you to leave because that would be equivalent to school yard bullying!
Good luck and I really hope to see you back.

06-15-2008, 08:27 PM
I too find this boring

I on the other hand have been greatly entertained by all the drama on this thread. If everyone hated it so much, they would stop arguing and just get on with whatever.

Keep going. I love it!