PDA

View Full Version : I'm driving myself crazy



debbei
05-25-2008, 06:39 AM
We won't be deciding who to go with for the surgery until after June 5th when I have an appointment with Dr. Boachie.

So in the meantime, I'm really trying not to go nuts. I don't think I'm doing such a good job. For a while, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. Now I can sleep, but all night long for days now, I have one nightmare after the other. Last night it was about my youngest, 8 year old daughter, and something was wrong with her. I'll wake up for a minute, realize I'm dreaming, and then fall asleep and go right back where I left off, or start over again.

We're hoping to schedule something for the fall. How do I settle my brain down? Someone said something to my hubby that isn't that a really long time to be worrying. Now I wonder.

I do want the time though to build myself up physically. If only I could do something about my head.

Singer
05-25-2008, 08:55 AM
I walked for miles and miles before my surgery just to make myself physically exhausted and that helped my head. I also kept as busy as possible. But sometimes you just have to walk through the craziness....pondering this surgery is a big deal and it's normal to be anxious.

loves to skate
05-25-2008, 12:36 PM
Hi Debbei,
Besides physical activity you might try Peggy Huddleston's Relaxation/Healing CD. I only discovered it 6 days before surgery and it seemed to help with the intense anxiety I was feeling. Take care. Sally

Chihuahua Mama
05-25-2008, 09:36 PM
I do want the time though to build myself up physically. If only I could do something about my head.

Debbei - from someone who's been on this surgery journey for 6 months now, I think it's a process. Although I'm still doing a lot of worrying, to be honest I'm just sort of sick of myself as far as MY HEAD is concerned. I'm starting to move into a place where I know that I can only get better from having this surgery and am confident about that. As a result I'm sleeping better, and having less anxiety attacks. I'm a natural worry wart - it's just my nature and being a worry wart has also made me a realist about many things in life, so I'm not sorry I have that trait....but it can take over if you don't see the POSITIVE.

My positive is I will be able to do something more with my life after surgery than lie in bed or on the couch, in pain. Look for your positive and make sure every time the anxiety/worry monster strikes, you have the positive ready in your head to fight back.

Hope that helps...from one head trip to another! :rolleyes:

debbei
05-26-2008, 10:37 AM
Hope that helps...from one head trip to another! :rolleyes:

Thank you Susan, it does help (now, during daylight hours at least.) I guess I have to cut myself some slack, after all I only found out about a month ago that I had progressed. All these years I figured that my scoliosis was taken care of as a teenager and I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I know I am handling it better now than I did the first week or so. There are just certain times I can't control myself, and that's when I need to take your and others advice from above. Stupid times, like driving in the car and hearing a certain song--sometimes that sets me off into a fit of tears.

You said it right, I am a head trip sometimes.

txmarinemom
05-26-2008, 02:39 PM
... from someone who's been on this surgery journey for 6 months now, I think it's a process.

That's a very accurate statement, Susan, and you'll see people all over the forums who've described the pre-op phase as the toughest one.

People also generally tend to feel a drop in anxiety once they make the decision to have surgery (and choose the surgeon/schedule a date), but it seems to ramp back up again in the weeks prior to surgery.

Although I did need my lists to prepare everything for recovery, the level of detail was due to stress. The lists gave me a task on which to focus (and believe me, simply maintaining the lists was a monumental task of its OWN, not even considering all the tasks ON the lists!).

What you're feeling is completely natural, and that's fantastic you've made up your mind to focus on the positives that will come from surgery ... and there are TONS of them.

When it's all said and done, you'll feel SO much better!

Regards,
Pam

JoAnn5
05-26-2008, 02:47 PM
This might seem simplistic or foolish to some, but i tried to imagine my journey thru surgery and recovery as a rickety bridge across a chasm. I knew it would be rough going for a while, but on the other side was relief and a better life. Also, I knew i just had to 'step out on faith'. I felt God would take care of me, and of course He did!

txmarinemom
05-26-2008, 04:27 PM
This might seem simplistic or foolish to some, but i tried to imagine my journey thru surgery and recovery as a rickety bridge across a chasm. I knew it would be rough going for a while, but on the other side was relief and a better life. Also, I knew i just had to 'step out on faith'. ...

I don't think it's simplistic at all ... it's a great analogy. It IS scary walking the shaky unknown, and some days the bridge seems to sway much more than others. It really does take a lot of faith - and you just have to take one step at a time. Some days, fear will keep you frozen in place, but eventually you start moving again towards the other side, again, on faith.

You can read about everyone else's experiences here, but until you have your own history, it's just impossible to even imagine. You have no idea how you're going to feel in the short term after surgery, how you'll recover, how you'll look, when things will return to normal ...

Even the "normal" is unknown because it's going to be a NEW "normal". (the old normal wasn't working so well with most of us - LOL ... I know I didn't want *mine* back!)

Regards,
Pam