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briarrose
04-25-2008, 01:35 PM
Hi everyone! I finally got my surgery date - May 20th (my husband's birthday!). It's a little later than I anticipated, but that's ok. I started crying a little at the surgeon's office because I'm so scared. I'm mainly scared of paralysis and my quality of life being poorer afterwards. If I die, I know where I'm going so that's not as big of a deal to me.

Even though everything is scheduled, I'm still questioning my decision. My curve and pain isn't nearly as bad as some and I'm wondering if this is necessary at this point. It probably is since my surgeon said it's extremely likely that I will continue to progress, though my curve has stayed at 50 degrees for the past 3-4 months.

Anyway, my fusion will be from T2 or T3 to L2.

skoshi314
04-25-2008, 03:27 PM
I'm with ya, sista! My date is June 9, and in all honesty, that gives me WAAAAAAAY too much time to think about it. I thought once I set the date I'd be so relieved but I seem to be wavering just as much as I did before the date was set. From what I've read most people seem to be the same way right up until surgery day. That seems to be one of the consistencies of this challenge.

WE CAN DO THIS!!!! WE WILL DO THIS!!!! When we are standing taller and straighter and feel fabulous we will be stronger for having gone through it! Please remember, you are never alone. Feel free to PM me or email me and we can keep each other positive!

Oops, gotta go grab the kid from school. Hang in there!

vndy
04-25-2008, 03:31 PM
Briarrose,

I remember hearing the PA recite the risks... it is undeniably scary. Remember though how UNLIKELY it is that any of those things will happen to you. Your doctor does this every day, the same way you and I study or do research... it's their "normal" day.

Remember the reasons you are doing this. I took a before picture of my back which I still look at occasionally to remind myself why I had surgery. When compared to the after photo, it's really remarkable. I also wrote a list of reasons I chose to have surgery.

I'm nearly at the 6 month mark, and I feel like I have my life back. I don't have the discomfort I had pre-surgery. I am taller. And I don't have to worry about my back for quite awhile, if ever.

Sending good thoughts, karma, and prayers your way.

Chihuahua Mama
04-25-2008, 05:05 PM
my thoughts are with ya briarrose. I know that when I have a surgery date...I'll be full of the same worries and fears. You'll do fine, I know. I noticed from your signature that your curves have progressed pretty rapidly over the last 3 or 4 years...so if you didn't have surgery next month, by this time next year you would probably be at 54 degrees!

Singer
04-25-2008, 05:12 PM
I have to say that the anticipation of this surgery is worse than the surgery itself because once the operation is over, you live in the present. Anticipating the unknown is agonizing.....believe me, I know!! It will all be okay.

skoshi314
04-25-2008, 06:27 PM
Chris, I never looked at the before/after like that but it really helps put everything into perspective. Thanks for the wonderful words of wisdom!

briarrose
04-26-2008, 08:40 AM
Thanks for your replies everyone! I really appreciate your encouragement and support. I'm feeling ok about it now, but who knows how I'll be tomorrow or in a couple of days. I have to work today (my last day!) and I'll come home in horrible pain which will remind me that I need the surgery.

skoshi - Yes, we can do this!!! It'll be done and over with before we know it! Being taller will be great. I had forgotten about that perk. Do you know how much taller you will be? My doctor said 1 to 1.5 inches. I noticed in your signature that your doctor isn't fusing your thoracic curve. Is that because it's compensatory?

vndy - Thanks so much for always responding to my threads. You've been a great encouragement to me. I'm so happy things have gone well for you. You're right about the surgeons doing this all the time so they know what they are doing. It still scares me because I mess up in lab sometimes, it's never anything huge, but I still make mistakes. I just need to let that go and trust God.

Chihuahua Mama - When do you think your surgery will be? Your right about my curve, it will most likely be 55 degrees or so next year and my doctor said that too. Thanks for your encouragement! Best of luck with all of your surgery decisions.

Singer - Thanks for the words of wisdom. You are very right. As long as nothing goes wrong during the surgery, it'll be fine once it's in the past. Thanks again!