View Full Version : MY QUESTIONS including... WHY ME???!!!

04-22-2008, 05:24 PM
do any of u ever think "WHY ME?" :confused: i'm dyin 2 know. cause i always think that! All of the time i'm wondering, "why me?" i know that there is a reason 4 it tho and that God wants me 2 learn something from it. but i think it's a test 2 see how much i will trust Him and i trust Him everyday 2. :)

04-22-2008, 09:27 PM
I can't answer what my daughters would say but I can answer for myself as the mother of identical twins with scoliosis, one who was fused on 26 March 2008 and the other in a night-time bending brace.

I can give you a scientific answer and another type of answer.

The scientific answer to why anyone gets idiopathic scoliosis is that your DNA contains information that tells your body to grow a deformed spine. Scientists have found the first gene associated with idiopathic scoliosis just last year. They may find other genes.

Sometime in the course of human evolution over the last few hundred thousand years, scoliosis occurred for the first time and was passed on to subsequent generations. Maybe new cases spontaneously occur today, I don't know.

Now, beyond your DNA, I think you also want an answer as to why you personally have this scoliosis gene and why others do not.

Similarly, I could ask why my daughters have scoliosis and not their schoolmates. But I don't ask that.

The question makes no sense to me. Some questions have no sensible answer.

Just because we can ask something, just because we can state it as a question, doesn't mean there is necessarily an answer.

I get no comfort from asking questions with no possible answers.

I find comfort where I can. I find comfort that humans have done research and surgeons have perfected their skills so that kids with scoliosis can lead very normal lives. The truly amazing things in our world are the accomplishments of people in science and medicine who actually help people in real ways.

This is the only life we have. It's a shame when a kid has scoliosis in that life. It's not fair. But there is no reason why life should be fair. You can make yourself crazy wondering why life isn't fair. We have to try to maximize our joy and the joy of others in this life as much as possible. That is the closest thing to a purpose in life I can think of.

Our universe is about 13 billion years old. Our sun has about another 5 billion years left before it blows up. Not to worry because humans will be long gone before then. Also, another galaxy is heading straight for ours. That galaxy and ours will collide in several billion years. I am told you can actually see this other galaxy in the night sky now. Humans will not be around for that either.

Now does it make any sense to ask if any of that is fair to the earth? I don't think so. It just is what it is.

As Carl Sagan said, we are made of "star stuff." That is, the atoms in our bodies were forged in past star explosions. When the sun explodes, or when our galaxy collides with the other galaxy, our atoms will go back to being "star stuff." I find comfort in knowing that.

Take comfort and joy in what you can.


04-23-2008, 03:16 PM
hi sharon! well........ i will have 2 tell u, i'm thankful 4 wut God has given me. a home, food, clothes, etc. but when he comes back 2 earth 1 day, i will be goin 2 heaven! i'm saved. i have a saved soul and God will be havin me and other christians in his house 4 ALL ETERNITY! :) i'm very glad that i can have a relationship w/God and that i can pray 2 him EVERY day at ANY time i want! :) isn't that gr8 how merciful he is 2 us? the world wuz made, eh bout thousands of yrs. ago, but i always ask him 2 help me w/my scoliosis, 2 make it better, and 2 bless others who r less fortunate than me. i still ask tho... why me? and why anyone? :confused:

04-23-2008, 04:35 PM
Yes, Val, He is in control. And aren't we glad about that!!! Just wanted to say I'm impressed with your faith and also with your spunk! Or should I say "sparkle"? You remind me of my daughters when they were younger. Now they are grown up young Christian women, and I am so grateful.

I also wanted to give you some of my thoughts on the big "why" question. Since you are a Christian, you need to remember we live in a fallen world-- sin brought that on us--so there is disease and other bad stuff that happens. Because of that, nothing is how it should/could/will be. Sometimes our problems are because we (or other people) make bad choices. With problems like scoli, they just happen. I don't think God is "testing" you with the scoli problem... other than to see how you adjust your attitude and let your faith shine through it. He doesn't say "Hey, I'll give this one scoli, and that one leukemia, or maybe this one will just have ugly hair..." to see if we'll walk with him or not. He created us and we're all beautiful in his eye. And he aches for us when we have problems. And he wants us to turn to him for the support and guidance we need to get through life. It looks like you're doing that-- and super well for someone your age! :) You already mentioned all the blessings you were thinking of, and he will bless you with how you deal with the scoli-- and the people around you. I've been trying to help others going through the same thing. I think that is what he wants me to do at this point-- I know some are thankful for what I have to offer-- while some others think I'm a sickeningly sweet busybody. :eek: It's ok though, because I feel like if I can help even just one person, I'm doing some good. ;)

And it's ok to question and wish things aren't the way they are, as long as we know it's ok and he'll see us through it. The Lord helped me so much with my own surgery last May, trusting that no matter what might happen, I am his and he would be with me always. So keep your faith and nothing will ever be too much to bear.

04-23-2008, 05:09 PM
hey susie*bee! yah i'm full of sparkle! especially in my room! (lol) i luv headbands, makeup, purses, cute clothes, the whole bargain! my mom says she NEVER thought i would be this girly when she had me! i am the major girly-girl! oh well... at least she has a daughter who won't fuss when mommy does her hair! (lol) :) and also, i'm proud 2 say that i go 2 church EVERY Sunday and it rocks!!! the singers are outrageousely good! boy can u feel the Holy Spirit in there on Sunday!!! anyway, TTYL! God bless u all!!! :)

04-23-2008, 10:01 PM
i still ask tho... why me? and why anyone? :confused:

I hope someone else can answer this for you since you are still asking. (Please someone else try.) It pains me that you still are missing some answer that you want and need.

I'm sorry I couldn't answer it for you. I guess I don't ask those questions so I can't possibly know the answer.

I think you are a strong girl and I bet your folks are very proud of you.

Good luck.

04-28-2008, 02:31 PM

I have often thought that myself - why can't this be given to an axe murderer or rapist - they are all stuck inside and don't deserve the life that has been given them so why not let them suffer with this pain instead of me?

On the other hand, I feel that Scoliosis has made me stronger and I do have a strong, confident, out-going character and Scoliosis has played a major part in that.

Scoliosis has also given me the ability to understand my fellow human being and enabled me to get on the same level, I have more compassion and feeling for those in pain - more so than those who do not have to deal with pain (not saying those who do not suffer with pain are not compassionate or thoughtful).

So, when I think "why me" I also try to put a positive spin on this thought and think how amazing I am in coping with daily life so well considering the levels of pain that I have. There is always someone worse and that thought has often got me through many a day (as awful as that may sound!)

Nutty :)

04-28-2008, 02:37 PM

No, it doesn't sound awful at all - I think what you stated in your post was VERY well said (and true).

I like to think I was a decent person before, but having to deal with my son's scoliosis for the past 8 years (and my many trips to Shriners Hospital) has definitely made me more aware of the plight of others, many worse off, and has made me more compassionate. It's just human nature I guess for it to have this effect on us.

Good luck to you and thanks again for a great post.

04-28-2008, 02:50 PM
Hola mariaf

Nice to hear from you :)

Yes I think you are right, we cannot help but let it affect us and sometimes we do not even notice how it has affected us or why - it just does.

I behave so differently in the various things I do in my daily life that are different to that of my husband's behaviour - little things like getting down to sit on a chair - I do that so awkwardly, the way I stand, brushing my teeth is a particular nightmare and I am hoping to get that raised so I do not have to bend so far.

I am lucky that I am only fused to L1 - I notice this in many activities I do throughout the day - it is strange because I can bend over and grab my ankles and just hang there - it feels nice - but if I bend at a 45 angle it is a nightmare and I can sometimes get stuck. My heart goes out to those who are fused even lower than L1!

Anyway, I just realised that I am rambling on hehehe

Take care and all the best to you and your family


KYs Dad
04-28-2008, 06:20 PM
:) Hi i am new to the fourm i am a Dad that had scoliosis surgery 23 yrs ago. Now my daughter has a 38 degree curve and has been fitted for brace we go to pick it up friday 5hr trip we live i eastern Idaho. My daughter is not looking foward to the brace but she understands the need. Sparklegirl your faith in the Lord is bold and I to share the same faith. I know now way i was given this experiance in my life . I understand first hand the suffering of others and want only to be an encouragement to others. So hang in there and remember Jesus loves you very much. KYs Dad

04-29-2008, 12:42 AM
Keep up the faith. This too shall pass. I feel for you. It's okay to feel sad about our situation but remember, the bible says the Lord is close unto them that are of a broken heart. He is there for you every step of the way. When you face a trial like this, that's when you feel his presence more.

05-09-2008, 03:39 PM
KYs dad,
thx 4 posting that comment. :) i sent u a pm. tell ur daughter feel free 2 chat w/me whenever u would like. (u can chat also. :)) thx again. :)

thx 4 posting those comments 2. really made me smile. :) feel free 2 pm me anytime u like. :) (i sent u a pm also.)

05-12-2008, 05:40 AM
Hola KYs Dad

Nice to meet you and wishing you and your daughter all the best with your Scoliosis :)

Take Care and be well

05-14-2008, 03:37 PM
:D :D :D :D :D (i'm bored :p ) heehee... emberassing...

05-14-2008, 04:49 PM
Did you check out those two cute animal photo sites I posted for you?


05-15-2008, 03:45 PM
no, which ones???

05-15-2008, 04:30 PM


05-15-2008, 07:12 PM
thx 4 those pics of animals they were funn-e!!! :D (hay, u should make a signature!!! i'm sure it would be cute since ur so creative. :) )

05-15-2008, 07:20 PM
thx 4 those pics of animals they were funn-e!!! :D (hay, u should make a signature!!! i'm sure it would be cute since ur so creative. :) )

Sparklegirl, I didn't have any part in making those sites. I have tried to submit photos of my guinea pigs (I have five) to cuteoverload from time to time but they never picked them for the site.

I check both sites every day because there are new pictures every day. Some of them make me laugh out loud literally.

Here's hoping you aren't so bored!

05-19-2008, 03:18 PM
hi sharon. i'm sick right now, cold and the runny poops ( i know, a little gross, but that's wut i have) anyway, i know u didn't make the sites, it's just that your personality seems really creative. thx for sharing the pictures with me though. i liked them alot, and my friends got a kick out of them 2. :)

anyway, i will talk 2 ya later. thanks again!!! ~*val*~

05-23-2008, 03:59 PM
hello everyone... just thought i'd tell you the 411. i'm getting a little better now. thank you LORD! anyway, no other news than that!

08-16-2008, 10:40 PM
On the other hand, I feel that Scoliosis has made me stronger and I do have a strong, confident, out-going character and Scoliosis has played a major part in that.

I feel the exact same way...having Scoliosis has definitly made me stronger.
In particular, having surgery just recently in June has made me stronger.
The first couple days when i was just going for small walks in the hospital, I told my parents "I wish I never did the surgery". And I remember being in bed in early July late one night when my dad came in to check in on me...and I was crying and said how I wasn't getting any better. I only had surgery 7 weeks ago and I cannot believe how well I am doing today. I am still not quite my usual overly energetic self lol, but I have made HUGE progress week to week. The recovery was harder than I expected and I am proud of myself for doing so well and not having more nights like that one where I was crying.

I've wondered WHY ME many times. Mostly before my surgery when I saw girls my age wearing tank tops and tshirts and being jealous that they don't have to worry about whether or not other people will notice if their back is straight or not.

I'm still a bit frustrated that I have Scoliosis...but I've learned to live with it and am SO proud of myself for going through the serious fusion surgery. As cheesy as it sounds haha, I know actually feel like I can do anything if I want it bad enough :cool:

08-18-2008, 11:04 AM
i will never feel good about my scoliosis. NEVER NEVER NEVER! but, i know that it won't last forever.