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Aussiemum
03-23-2008, 08:05 PM
Hi everyone,

Okay - I know this is not a Dear Diary website but for all you parents out there who's child has gone through surgery or other life changing event, how far do you go in "making allowances?" Here's my problem......

We already have a 2 1/2 year old Male German Sheppard. Very loving guy but he's attached himself to hubbie. He is too big and strong for the girls to walk and hubbie has spoilt the dog to the point where he'll only eat with him (Doug provides a Dinner AND show for the dog each night!!!!!!) My girls have always wanted a lap dog!!!! But no - when we got our dog it had to be something "Macho"! Don't get me wrong - I love German Sheppards and this boy to bits but.... I know where the girls are coming from. Something gentle to sit on your lap and cuddle up to, not something when you try to hug it it's going to knock one of your teeth out in his excitement!!!!

So.... now the problem..... Elysia had been asking me for a Pomerainian WAAYYY before surgery. I had stood my ground .... no..... No....... NO........ NOOOOOOO!!!! After she woke up from surgery - one of the first things she said was Pomeranian!!! It had all been pre-planned it looks like. Everytime my husband came to see her in hospital she would lie there looking so weak and vunerable and ask - "can I have a pomeranian" - Husband - henceforth known as Idiot - said we'll see!!!! That's it - in our house "we'll see" means yes! This went on everyday. When she came home he promised her when she gets better as we can't look after her and dog. I know why he did all this, his heart was breaking at seeing her sick and he melted.

But now.... I am furious!!! I don't want another dog - first for the obvious reasons but second - a small little dog and a big very boisterous, playful monster - I don't want a little dog getting injured even if it is in playtime and not intentional. And now he's saying "I don't want another dog - forget it". I am so angry at him because last week he even took her off to the Pet Store to have a look at the little Chihuahua's!!!

I've just gone into her room and told her enough is enough - we don't want another dog in the home and that's it. I've had to walk out leaving her sobbing in her room and feel like a real - well you know what!!!! I feel so sad and broken hearted that this promise was mad and is now being taken back. She has a whole year ahead of her with none of her weekend sports and afternoon trainging with her friends, no after school rep sport, no horse riding with her best friend and thought what the heck, give her something to spend her time with. (all the dog lovers out there will be rolling their eyes.)

What is she going to spend her time doing?? All the friends are into the same sports and activities that she could do prior to surgery. I'm very upset at the moment to the point of crying typing this... (feeling sorry for the predicament that I find myself in).

Any advice?? Other than the obvious of kick husbands %$#$%!

Thanks
Del

samsmom
03-23-2008, 08:48 PM
Hi Del,

Aha! I am not the only one who made promises in the hospital, I see. I would have done anything to get my daughter to smile...even a little. I promised her two things. First a Mustang car, which thank goodness she does not remember :) and two highlights for her hair, which I will follow through with when she can sit that long in the chair at the salon.

As far as the puppy, I really know what you are going through as my daughter has been playing on my sympathy and pushing for one since we found out she needed the surgery and my husband has been egging her on and taking her to pet stores too.

It is so hard because you want to give your child everything they want after what they have been through. We all have allergies and I can't imagine my daughter agreeing to take on full responsibility for a puppy's care so I have had some pretty good ammunition in my argument against. (so far...)

A puppy is a major commitment and it is another "dependent". Why don't you make an agreement to see how you both feel in 3 or 4 months time. Elysia might find another thing she is passionate about or you won't be so weary from taking care of your daughter that getting a puppy might not be as bad as it seems.

Good Luck,
Michele

ElleBelleCurvz
03-23-2008, 08:50 PM
i know i have no experience, seeing as im well, 14...but i can see both sides of this...and i was wondering if maybe you had some way you could get another small pet for her or let her watch a neighbor's dog? I know it's totally not the same...but really i know i would be and feel the same as she does...but if your TOTALLY not going to get another dog, then you'll just have to tell her that you guys goofed on it, it;s not a good feeling, and it's sad when your told this, but eventually, u get over it..trust me, im the most stubborn kid you could have..and it's really not easy but id suggest exploring options first, and im sorry about all this you've been put through! Hope one part of my rant has a slight value to you :) Good luck with whatever you choose, Danielle

ps. gotta add, sorry if this makes NO sense, the two sides are pulling at me tho...cuz i can relaly see as a kid or as the authority how i would feel...wish you well

rtremb
03-23-2008, 10:22 PM
Del:

I understand why you don't want another dog! I think of our dog who has been with us now for 14-1/2 years like another child - maintenance wise I mean.

You may not like this idea but what about a cat. They are totally independent and really low maintenance and if you get the right one it will love to sit on the girl's laps for a petting and a cuddle (ragdoll cats are especially good for this). Kittens are super fun and playful too. This might be really good for your daughter as she goes through her recovery.

I wouldn't worry about the dog and the cat living together either - the cat will put the dog in its place if necessary! We have a golden retriever and two cats and they all live peacefully together.

Just a suggestion.................Ruth

gillste
03-24-2008, 11:21 AM
hi just a thought did your hubby say this dog would actually be a living thing if not why not buy a teddy replica that way your hubby wont have broke any promises and also you have peace of mind knowing you only have the 1 living dog in your house, maybe you could start a collection of stuffed cuddly animals and make it a hobby for your daughter, if this works let me know and i will send you a stuffed furry dog.
gill
mum to jodie age 7

Snoopy
03-24-2008, 11:52 AM
MEN! Why do they do things like this? Is hubby going to take FULL responsiblity for this new dog? NO. Is your daughter going to take FULL responsiblity for this new dog? NO. We all know that moms are usually the ones who are responsible for all pets in the household. Right?

My almost 15 y.o. begged and begged for a dog for about 4 years and I finally gave in almost a year ago only after she promised to walk the dog daily, clean the yard, clean up after the dog, dog sat for our neighbor for a few years, and I finally thought she ws mature enough to take responsibiltiy for a dog. Well, let's see...my 16 y.o. cleaned the yard yesterday, I took the dog for a walk this morning, and I cleaned up the mess he made by shredding his blanket.

A dear friend of mine asked me on Friday if getting Chance was the best thing I did in the past year. When I hesitated, she got the funniest look on her face! Yes, I love MY dog dearly, but like I told my friend, he has really complicated my life.

So, Del, if YOU are ready to take full responsibility for another dog, then by all means go for it! If not, then make your husband explain to your daughter why she isn't getting a dog. Don't worry about what your daughter will do for the next year. Take this opportunity to involve her in other things.....take a pottery class, take an art class, volunteer at the library or the hospital, or simply just spend more time together as a family playing board games or taking day trips. It will be hard at times when she can't do everything she wants to do, but she will survive.

Hang in there and don't put all of this on you! Put the blame on your husband where it belongs.

Mary Lou

Carmell
03-24-2008, 03:02 PM
Del,

Don't get the dog. Elysia will find something else to whine about, I mean focus on. Hubby isn't going to change. Big monster dog won't change. More work for you is NOT the point. Get over the guilt. Move on.

Now, I understand the emotional trauma. Help Elysia find something else she enjoys. I like the idea of dog-sitting. She may find that will be a long term thing, not just during her post-op recovery time. She may also find that isn't what she likes, and moves on to something else. At her age, kids change their mind with the wind - almost before their sentence is finished sometimes. This is something she's using to manipulate you. Don't fall for it. She'll survive without a lap dog, and she'll also survive without doing all the things she's used to, even with her friends. There are MANY things she can do with her friends. Maybe sit down with her (or have her do this in private) and write down all the things she CAN do and the things she WANTS to do that fall within her limitations. Ask family and friends for help with this list. I'll bet you'll be surprised at what shows up on the list.

Good luck and know you are doing a great job. Remember that (before you kick hubby's you-know-what).

MATJESNIC
03-24-2008, 03:10 PM
Del,

Everyone here has given you great advice. There is no right or wrong answer. You will decide what you want to do eventually. We only had one bichon when we found out Nicole had scoliosis. We got a second one, only 10 lbs and so cute, for Nicole. She named it Roxy. Has it been crazy with two dogs? Yes. But I have no regrets. I am sure you can think of lots of other ways to spoil her. It is your decision. Oh, even though it is Nicole's dog, guess who mostly takes care of her? You guessed it!!! I am going to try to send you a picture of my dogs right now.

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 03:10 PM
My advice?

Run away from home. I have an extra bed, and they'll never think to look for you here.

mariaf
03-24-2008, 03:25 PM
Pam,

Is that offer just for Del?

Or can I take my funny accent over to your house as well????

MATJESNIC
03-24-2008, 03:36 PM
Maria,

I guess you are talking about your New York accent!! I am very partial to Austrailian and English accents. Nicole and I love them!!!

mariaf
03-24-2008, 03:43 PM
Hi Melissa,

What do you mean?? New Yorkers don't have accents - everyone else does - LOL!!!

(And, yes, I was joking about my NY accent!)

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 04:05 PM
Pam,

Is that offer just for Del?

Or can I take my funny accent over to your house as well????

Just don't bring any animals (German Shepherds OR Pom's), and of course!

C'mon down to Texas, Sugar.

I'll help you learn to speak correctly (a.k.a., Tawlk rite) - lmao!

mariaf
03-24-2008, 04:18 PM
I don't have any animals - so it would just be me and my accent!

MATJESNIC
03-24-2008, 04:30 PM
Maria,

You know that I am no stranger to the N.Y. accent because my Parents still have theirs. But I can bet when you go to Shriner's in Phila, lots of people say to you, "Oh, you must be from N.Y." It is one of the strongest accents I have ever heard. Remember the first time I spoke with you on the phone and told you that?!! It is true that people from Phila have their own accents. But I am from the suburbs of Phila and I don't have that accent. I don't say crick, instead of creek, lags, instead of leggs, or my favorite, begel instead of bagel. Just a few examples.

mariaf
03-24-2008, 04:42 PM
But I can bet when you go to Shriner's in Phila, lots of people say to you, "Oh, you must be from N.Y."

When I go to Shriners in Philly????

How about when I go ANYWHERE outside of NY?? - LOL!

Funny, how I don't hear it because everyone in NY "tawks" this way :)

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 04:55 PM
When I go to Shriners in Philly????

How about when I go ANYWHERE outside of NY?? - LOL!

Funny, how I don't hear it because everyone in NY "tawks" this way :)

LMAO, natives of N'awlins do a pretty good imitation of Brooklyn, though ....

Snoopy
03-24-2008, 05:21 PM
Okay, I gotta put my two cents worth in here.

Melissa, we've talked....do I have an accent?

A few years ago my family and several of our friends went to Vegas. We were relaxing, enjoying our meal, and having fun with our waiter. All of a sudden he asked us if we were from Pennsylvania. We all started looking to see who had a Penn State shirt on or something to give us away. No one did. So now we are more shocked than ever. When we asked the waiter how he knew we were from PA he told us that people from PA "sing" there words. Huh?

Oh, by the way, my husband has never lived in Philly or any other city for that matter, but he does say crick instead of creek, he "eats his belly full", cracks the window among other things. But that is just the Pennsylvania Dutch coming out of him!

Mary Lou

MATJESNIC
03-24-2008, 06:43 PM
Yes, of course we crack a window when we want to get some air. Who doesn't? No, I didn't notice you had an accent, Mary Lou. But I really do appreciate accents and dialects and all the great things that help make up who we are. One of the funniest things about my Parents' N.Y. accents is that they don't pronounce the h at the beginning of certain words. Human, humor, Hugo, huge.... all pronounced like there is a Y in front of those words. And don't get me started on why they don't pronounce "r" in the middle of words, but add "r' when there is none. Example, my husband is called Edwood, instead of Edward. Anyway, I have been around in my whole life. Our kids and I always have fun with my Parents. Of course, they still insist they are the ones who are right.

I would love to meet everyone here and hear all the voices instead of just reading the words. Maybe, one day.

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 06:53 PM
LMAO, Melissa! That is soooooooooo Maria.

(sorry, babe :)

Aussiemum
03-24-2008, 07:08 PM
Allright Mates!!! Thanks Cobbers!! Crikey!!!! etc etc

I'm feeling better today, had a very emotional weekend, thanks for all the adivce - Elysia, the sweetheart that she is, told me she knows she's stressing me out regarding the dog (it's not just that, life is in full throttle at the moment!) She said doesn't matter, she'll stop nagging me!

Accents!!! My dad's aussie accent is so bad my Indian relo's can't understand him half the time and I have to translate!

Yes Pam, Horses, Elysia has also asked me for the last 6 years to get her a horse - aquiring horse is no problem, keeping it where????????? Problem was she used to have lessons with her best friend for 2 years - her parents have brought her a horse and agisted it and now the best friend is with the horse EVERY weekend.

But... yes - I will try my best to distract her into other areas if I can while she is kept out of sports. Was just feeling sorry for myself when I blurted out the post - but I felt better in doing so.

Hmmm that bed of yours sounds great - no kids, no dogs, no PITB husbands, - hang on though - your not looking for a Gofer are you??? and someone to mop those floors - I smell a rat in the offer! LOL!

Hooray Mates!!!

Del

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 07:10 PM
Drats, Del ...

It could be said you're a quick study!

mariaf
03-24-2008, 07:41 PM
LMAO, Melissa! That is soooooooooo Maria.

(sorry, babe :)

I"m gonna get you for that.

txmarinemom
03-24-2008, 07:50 PM
I"m gonna get you for that.

See what I mean? No r's in that post ... they're MIA, I tell ya :).

mariaf
03-24-2008, 08:29 PM
See what I mean? No r's in that post ... they're MIA, I tell ya :).

OK, I'm gonna get you fer that.

better?

MATJESNIC
03-24-2008, 08:36 PM
Maria,

Just remember that when people stop teasing you, that's when you need to worry. It is very obvious how many people really care about you and feel comfortable with you.

mariaf
03-24-2008, 09:02 PM
Maria,

Just remember that when people stop teasing you, that's when you need to worry. It is very obvious how many people really care about you and feel comfortable with you.

Melissa,

That's a really nice compliment - THANK YOU!

Carmell
03-24-2008, 11:03 PM
And all of you (all ya'll, for Pam) have accents. Sheesh. I LOVE hearing people speak and what comes out of most mouths is amusing, or hilarious, depending on where I am. My hubby lived in England for 2 years - he is from Hurst, TX. He lived in area in England where many middle easterners live. Apparently it was quite amusing to everyone when he tried to speak with an English/Pakistani/Texan accent. ROFL

The Slice
03-25-2008, 04:12 AM
Hey Del, if the subject should come up again, why don't you steer your daughter towards training the german sheppard (sp?) further. If you've ever seen service dogs, most of them will sit very close to their master. They can be taught to not be so rambuctious, even in certain situations, or with certain people. I don't know if you get it there, but there's a show here called "The Dog Whisperer". I don't know much at all about training dogs as I've never had one, but it's amazing what he's done with problem dogs of all sizes. I know that problem of making promises from the other side of it. When I was 8, almost 9, I was in the hospital for surgery ahd I had a craving for an artichoke and the mayonaise and lemon juice to dip the leaves in. Well, wouldn't you know it, they weren't in season at the time. My mother drove all over LA looking for a place where she could get one (we were living in LA at the time). Well, she finally found one, took it home, cooked it and brought it to the hospital. I think it was right after I tried the first leaf, that I didn't want it after all. Well jeeze, it was cold! LOL :D I know that it doesn't compare with the issue of a pet, but I thought that it's a good example of what parents will do for their kids, and it is funny now! BTW, that was in 1965 before they had microwave ovens. Oh, and another thing, y'all er too funny.

Aussiemum
03-25-2008, 04:23 AM
Hey Slice

Yeah, she DOES train him to come and sit and drop etc - she just wanted a lapdog as "jaffa" is hubbies dog and when he's home he only listens and sticks with him! But thanks for the suggestion - yeah I've seen dog whisperer - he's obedient but just wants to play - I guess he'll grow out of it as he is only 2 1/2.

thanks for the advice and the shoulders to cry on!!! things are looking up - I was having a weekend of depression and feeling sorry for myself me thinks!!

And that's Hooroo everyone not "Hooray"

Hooroo Cobbers
Del

Aussiemum
03-25-2008, 04:25 AM
PS - Artichokes - that made me laugh!!!!!! Not icecream, a teddy, a doll, lollies but a 9 year old asking for Artichokes. Do you have kids? If you do you must have been a ball when you were pregnant!!!! LOL!

The Slice
03-25-2008, 09:10 AM
No, I don't have kids. If I were pregnant, it would be a real miracle, a first time ever........ I'm a guy. :eek: :D

LorDon
03-25-2008, 10:35 AM
Slice,
I'm laughing so hard I nearly choked on my coffee.........

mariaf
03-25-2008, 10:40 AM
Hey Slice,

Please tell me about this mayonnaise and lemon juice "dip" for the artichokes.

My mom makes the best stuffed artichokes but we never had any dip :(

Do you just mix the two together??

And yes this thread has given my some much-needed laughs!!

The Slice
03-25-2008, 01:19 PM
Yeah, it's just mayonaise with a bit of lemon juice mixed in.

mariaf
03-25-2008, 02:33 PM
Thanks, Slice - I'll give it a try!

ElleBelleCurvz
03-25-2008, 06:21 PM
yummy :) seeing we're shelling out recipes now :) I should get out my pen n paper, and thanks for the idea...sounds really good, Slice.

Aussiemum
03-25-2008, 06:23 PM
Hey Slice Baby!!!! Sorry - Hey! How was I to know!!!! LOL!!! That's so funny!
Well there's a first for everything - didn't you ever see that movie with Arnold Swazzeneger (sp?) and Danny DiVito??

ROFL!!!!
Del

skoshi314
03-26-2008, 12:17 AM
I HAVE GOT TO CHECK THIS FORUM MORE OFTEN!!!!! Things have been really crazy the last couple of days and I haven't had much time to check it out. This particular thread has covered so many topics (dogs, horses, accents, and now recipes) it's unbelievable! I needed a good laugh and now I've had one. Thanks!

The Slice
03-26-2008, 08:36 AM
Hey Del, I just checked out your blog. Who's the author of that crazy, funny, wonderful poem? Was it you or Ellysia?

Aussiemum
03-26-2008, 04:29 PM
Hey Slice Baby!

The poem was me! Don't ask me why I just enjoy writing little ditties!!!!!!

I think I may have some Irish blood in me!!!!!!

cheers
Del

Wishing
03-29-2008, 05:24 PM
Dear Aussiemum,

Just an idea. How about a budgie,or parakeet? Elysia could keep one in her room in a little cage. If she got a male bird, she could teach it to talk and do tricks. It would also sing, chatter and dance. Again, just an idea.
I'm afraid being Elysia is so soon post-op, that dealing with your rambunctious german shepherd might be a bit too strenuous for her.

Aussiemum
03-29-2008, 05:35 PM
EXACTLY!!!! Wishing! I get scared everytime he's inside that he's going to knock her flying and he does tend to jump up when he's excited.

We HAVE a bird!! It's a cockatiel, (parrot) very cute and it does come out of it's cage and play with the girls and does poopsie everywhere, I wonder if you can toilet train a bird????

Here's a funny story - just for those that are sitting around bored and have nothing else better to do than to read my ravings.......

We were all rushing about the house getting ready for a wedding. My brother in law from overseas was sitting looking out the window when he noticed a flock of birds darting around in our back yard. He also saw our German Sheppard jumping in the air and darting here and there trying to chase them off. THEN he noticed a bright little yellow bird doing the same thing! That looks like the same bird the girls have, he thought.

He went outside and saw our cage door open, IT WAS OUR BIRD, that had somehow opened the cage door and was now darting around the backyard being attacked by these crazy myer birds (they're a pest here in Australia).

Our bird, (name, Cheeky) flew across the yard in a panic and hit smack into a wall. Jaffa, the hero, runs to his aid and picks him up in his mouth.
My brother in law is screaming by this time for the dog to drop the bird which he wouldn't do. He is hitting the dog across the face, (now remember, Dog doesn't know him too well and he IS A GERMAN SHEPPARD) to drop the bird. He thinks OMG! I'm going to get mauled by this dog trying to save this bird. He holds his snout and reaches into his mouth to retrieve bird and gets a WHOPPING bite from the BIRD!!!!!!! Blood is pouring everywhere from the Gash!!!! I am LMAO as he tells me the story of what happend.

Result: Daughter runs into backyard picks up bird, brother-in-law has nasty bite on thumb!!!!!!

Yay for Jaffa - the Cockatiel Hero!!!!!!!

(lucky I can type 80 words a minute!!!!)

:D
Del

Susie*Bee
03-29-2008, 05:55 PM
Never a dull moment at your place! :eek: Thanks for the entertainment!!!

ElleBelleCurvz
03-29-2008, 08:19 PM
bahahaha, this thread has me crying X_X lol, i think that the best thing for Elysia at the moment is prbly to stay FAR from animals, at least if your dog is ANYTHING like mine ;)

Wishing
03-30-2008, 05:17 PM
Dear Aussiemum,

Another idea - How about using this extra time to become a really great student (if she is not one already). She could really surprise herself and the rewards are really great in the long run. She could also learn a language with c.d.'s etc., learn to play and instrument, become well read, learn to sew, cook, or whatever else might interest her. She how has the gift of time to learn some really great stuff and become that much more interesting a young lady.