8 days out from the most scary, by far the most painful, quite possibly the most alone I've EVER felt on the backside of 39 years, an ephiphany occurs to me; so stunning in its simplicity, I feel like a child in comparison to the "me" of 3 months ago.
I realize the most valuable, most poignant moments ... the most wonderful opportunities ... things to make all the difference in a fellow human's day - and the people (oh, the people!) you'd never be blessed to meet if all were perfect.
I swear it's not the meds talking as I sit here, tears leaking, heart bursting - and truly thankful my life isn't perfect ... for I certainly would have missed an intangible perfection (via imperfection), without measure, via each of your absence.
I've cheerleaded/been cheerleaded since I joined (mariaf, vndy, LorDon, geo, geish, Sherie, pnuttro, all the susie's/suzy's, etc. - and too many others to count). I've listened to some very wise people here who gently - and sometimes not so gently - managed to teach me I didn't know a fraction of what I thought I knew. They taught me to really TRY to imagine our similarities - and differences - before I popped off and made someone's day worse (and I wish I could apologize to all I did in my ignorance).
The most joyous things I can recollect in ages happened over the last few days:
- Pnuttro (who lives close enough, but I'd never met) took time from her busy day to come see me in the hospital ... twice
- FeliciaFeliciaFelicia (whom I'd only talked to on the phone, briefly) called today to tell me she was doing well!!! ... I cried, Felicia - you're SO due.
- I got a voice phone/email connection to LorDon ... and it was all I knew it would be ...
- Sherie surprised me with a visit this morning - and groceries for which she refused recompense ... and wonderful company. Yet one of many of this journey I feel I've known forever ...
My thought for today is "I hate that any of us worry about ourselves and our kids. Personally, I wouldn't trade one single second of the time I've spent here - and the things I've learned about how to be a better friend ... and a better person.".
I'm not generally one for sticky, cloying sap, but my advice is run, don't walk, for the nearest shower ;-).
Much love,
Pam
I realize the most valuable, most poignant moments ... the most wonderful opportunities ... things to make all the difference in a fellow human's day - and the people (oh, the people!) you'd never be blessed to meet if all were perfect.
I swear it's not the meds talking as I sit here, tears leaking, heart bursting - and truly thankful my life isn't perfect ... for I certainly would have missed an intangible perfection (via imperfection), without measure, via each of your absence.
I've cheerleaded/been cheerleaded since I joined (mariaf, vndy, LorDon, geo, geish, Sherie, pnuttro, all the susie's/suzy's, etc. - and too many others to count). I've listened to some very wise people here who gently - and sometimes not so gently - managed to teach me I didn't know a fraction of what I thought I knew. They taught me to really TRY to imagine our similarities - and differences - before I popped off and made someone's day worse (and I wish I could apologize to all I did in my ignorance).
The most joyous things I can recollect in ages happened over the last few days:
- Pnuttro (who lives close enough, but I'd never met) took time from her busy day to come see me in the hospital ... twice
- FeliciaFeliciaFelicia (whom I'd only talked to on the phone, briefly) called today to tell me she was doing well!!! ... I cried, Felicia - you're SO due.
- I got a voice phone/email connection to LorDon ... and it was all I knew it would be ...
- Sherie surprised me with a visit this morning - and groceries for which she refused recompense ... and wonderful company. Yet one of many of this journey I feel I've known forever ...
My thought for today is "I hate that any of us worry about ourselves and our kids. Personally, I wouldn't trade one single second of the time I've spent here - and the things I've learned about how to be a better friend ... and a better person.".
I'm not generally one for sticky, cloying sap, but my advice is run, don't walk, for the nearest shower ;-).
Much love,
Pam
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