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Gemma
06-21-2004, 11:35 AM
My name is Gemma and i am eleven years of age going on twelve and i need despret help! Firstly at my school everyone is meant to be nice but it is the oposite, infact they are horrible, they are particually horrible to me about my Scoliosis!
Everyone says i am a complete freak when i am not and they all called me a crippled Scoliosis spastic and it hurts my feelings badly!
I cry mostly at school and i always sit on the loner bench at school!
I have bo friends and i have no life!
Please help me get over this problem cause in January when i have my operation i will need all the support i can get from everyone in high school and from my old friends aswell!
Help me in any way that you can!
:(

Carmell
06-21-2004, 01:10 PM
Gemma,

I'm so sorry to hear you are not happy about your scoliosis, and that you don't seem to have any friends. I can't imagine how miserable you must feel. The people on this board can say words to maybe help you feel better, but its not a good place to look for 100% support. It's only a messageboard - not a real-life friend. Can you talk to a counselor at school and tell them your feelings? Can your parents help you? Do you have even one friend who accepts you for what you are? Please find someone to be there for you.

Also, remember that EVERYONE is different... all the people making fun of you have their own problems. They may just not be as visible as your scoliosis. Some people wear glasses and get made fun of. Some people may be overweight and get teased. Some people need braces on their teeth, or on their legs, or whatever... Those doing the teasing have the biggest problem with their brains - they forgot how to be NICE! I hope you find someone to help you. Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

phaden
06-21-2004, 05:03 PM
Hey Gemma:

The people who tease you about your scoliosis are total losers. People like that pick on other kids to make themselves feel stronger and more important. You might be an easy target because your scoliosis is easy to see, but beasts like this will tease anyone who is different -- different looks, different colour, different brains, different interests, whatever. This is very common thing at your age, and although it's horribly painful, it does go away. (Most) Grown-ups don't act that way.

One thing I noticed is that the kids who were the big bullies when I was your age grew up to be very ordinary, sort of uninteresting people. The kids who were picked on in school -- the geeks, brains, loners, whatever -- have grown up to be talented, successful people. The things that make you "different" when you're 11 make you "special" when you're 21 (I know that's a long way away for you...).

When you're an adult, you'll look back on this tough time with your scoli and know that you were challenged by something most kids didn't have to cope with, and you handled it because you were strong. You'll always have that knowledge about yourself. You'll also have more compassion and sympathy for people who are different and struggling. All of this will make you a special person.

So hang in there, and keep in mind that there are people all over the world (I'm from New Zealand - Land of the Hobbit) who think the kids who are teasing you are complete jerks.

Patricia

mumof5
06-21-2004, 05:42 PM
I totally agree with that has been said. I was picked on at high school because I was so much taller that everyone else. It was humiliating and I didn't want to go to school. I tried to shrink down so that I wouldn't be noticed and it only made it worse. What I finally realised was that if I didn't let them see me upset it upset them because they weren't getting the reaction that they wanted. It will take a while. You have to teach yourself not to cry at school. Walk away, but not to somewhere alone because they will follow. It will get worse for a while because they will try harder to make you cry. But if you can be strong in front of them they will loose interest and stop picking on you. Chances are it may still go on behind your back and you will hear the occassional comment, but it will get better. When you are different from everyone around you it makes you an easy target. You have to have a very thick skin and it's hard. You need to try and find someone at the school that you think you could be friends with. Approach them outside of school and see what happens. I know how much it hurts and how depressed you most likely are. Just remember that school doesn't last forever and everything that you are going through will make you a stronger person.
Keep posting here, will we try our best to help you. Find someone now to give you a big hug and tell them how you feel. If you can't tell them get them to read what you have written here.
Chin up and be proud of who you are. Don't let them drag you down to their level. My life has shown me that those who started down there, stayed there. You are better than all of them.
Cheryl.
P>S. When I was your age I was 6 foot tall. Everyone else was at least 6 inches shorter.

bryan
06-21-2004, 11:01 PM
Gemma,

When I was in the 7th grade I had to get a Milwaukee brace. One day no brace, the next day I had to show up at school wearing it. This was different. Different for me and everyone else. Did kids make fun of me? You bet they did. Every day. I tried my best to not let it show that it bothered me. It took time, but when the ones doing the teasing realized it didn't bother me it stoped. Sure, a few kids always found a way to try and get at me but I stood my ground. I took it upon myself to continue being part of a group and over time my friends were still my friends. I can say that I know it's hard and it can be mentally challenging day after day. But if they thought it didn't hurt me they stoped.

Talk to your parents for support and ideas. If your a member of a church talk to you pastor. You need to get advice from someone who knows you and you situation. In this forum I can only tell you that you are not alone, I have been in your shoes and survived. Always remember one thing - You are in control of your emotions and teasing will only hurt you if you let it. Take charge and be in control.

mumof5
06-22-2004, 03:16 AM
Gemma,
My daughter Amber doesn't like posting messages on here but she has read what you have written. Her first response was ' tell her to move here, I'll be her friend.' Then she asked me to contact you and ask if you would like a pen-pal from Australia. You can read about her in 'Worried mum from australia'. She really would like to write to you privately. If you want to, send us a personal message and we can organize something.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Cheryl and Amber.

Gemma
06-30-2004, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by mumof5
Gemma,
My daughter Amber doesn't like posting messages on here but she has read what you have written. Her first response was ' tell her to move here, I'll be her friend.' Then she asked me to contact you and ask if you would like a pen-pal from Australia. You can read about her in 'Worried mum from australia'. She really would like to write to you privately. If you want to, send us a personal message and we can organize something.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Cheryl and Amber.

StacieA10
08-11-2004, 04:37 PM
Gemma,

I can relate to you because at the age of 12 (junior high) I had my first surgery to correct 58 and 69 degree curves. I hated being different and needing special help. The “popular” girls at school were very mean and critical. Prior to the escalation of my curves and surgery I was into cheerleading, soccer, and cross country. Post surgery I couldn't take part in “normal activities” for a long time. It may be tough now in your current world and school. However, the struggles and adversities you must overcome now will prepare you for a lifetime of strength.

Also, after I got over the initial surgery and recuperation, I found new confidence in my height and correction. I started joining non physical school activities that revolved around leadership. I became friends with so many different groups within my high school because I was able to relate to kids with an empathetic heart. I knew what it felt like to be left out and ostracized, so I made a point to encourage everyone to join in student government and service clubs. I was also awarded many college scholarships for my resume and accomplishments, especially when the committees read about my surgeries and adversities that I had to overcome. Years later, I am now a communications manager at a big agency and the leadership skills that I was “forced” to develop to find my “nitch” in school outside of sports, has enabled me to build skills that are more valuable in “real life.”

I hope this inspires you to remain strong for the moment. The kids that are being mean to you now, will wish they didn’t in a few years because you will blossom and will have a kinder, more sympathetic heart with character and integrity they couldn’t dream of having!