Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Regrets

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Regrets

    I am starting to regret the fact that I had surgery. Maybe I am just overwhelmed with recovery. I was reading threads about people having to have revision surgery and I am soooo scared that that is a possibility for me. Are there people who have had success with just one surgery? I was fused from T4-T12 in July, and I still don't feel very good. Another reason why I am questioning my decision is due to the fact that my fusions main purpose was to relieve the chronic pain I was experiencing. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision. I did try physical therapy, chiropractors, nerve and muscle specialists, etc., none of which helped very much. I hope that in the long run I will find relief from the pain I had prior to surgery, and be content with my decision. Any comments would be helpful. Hope everyone is doing well.

    -Christine
    Last edited by Christine84; 09-27-2007, 06:43 PM. Reason: spelling errors
    Surgery completed July, 2007
    Fused from T4-T12
    23years old

  • #2
    It's too early, Christine!!!

    Two months post-op???!!!

    It was a good year and half before I felt fully pain free from a revision(from an old type of scoliosis surgery done in 1956!). I expect you to reach that point earlier than that since this is a first surgery. No, not everyone needs a revision.

    One cannot expect full healing to take place when the spine, all the surrounding nerves, muscles, fascia, blood vessels, abdominal contents, etc. are rearranged in a more normal position.
    Recovery from spinal surgery IS LONG. It is easy to become discouraged in recovery but the only way out of it is THROUGH. In this society we have unrealistic expectations because everything in the media is fast: severe problems are solved in a 1/2 hour show, and instant gratification becomes a life style at a very young age. There is no way to speed this thing up.
    Original scoliosis surgery 1956 T-4 to L-2 ~100 degree thoracic (triple)curves at age 14. NO hardware-lost correction.
    Anterior/posterior revision T-4 to Sacrum in 2002, age 60, by Dr. Boachie-Adjei @Hospital for Special Surgery, NY = 50% correction

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello Christine-

      You are a few weeks behind me in recovery, and I was in the same place, feeling panicky because I still hurt a lot. But, I have noticed that there is a lessening of pain here in the last few days and I don't have to have much medicine. That has sure helped my outlook, and I hope you're turning point is also coming up also in a couple of weeks. Try not to overdo the exercise, because there is a fine line between pain and gain...I sure hope you get to feeling better...Lisa
      Lisa age 47
      T curve 69 degrees
      L curve 40 degrees more or less - compensatory
      fused to from T-3 to sacrum
      anterior and posterior surgeries completed June 1, 2007
      pushing hard in recovery !!

      Comment


      • #4
        Karen,
        Thank you. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself with everything that I do. I was taking Lortab for 10 weeks, and I think I am having nasty withdrawl symptoms right now. It has been effecting my mood, stomach, thinking, etc. You are right that things don't change over night or "in 30 minutes"

        Lisa,
        Thank you too! I feel so isolated because I haven't started driving yet, so I have been home all day for 10 weeks! I didn't care about my scar until just a few days ago, and even though I never used to wear bathing suites, It makes me sad that now if I want to I will be too embarrassed.
        Last edited by Christine84; 09-27-2007, 06:44 PM. Reason: forgot something
        Surgery completed July, 2007
        Fused from T4-T12
        23years old

        Comment


        • #5
          I hate the fact that my back is fused all the way neck to butt.. Although I've had my surgery 8 yrs ago, my family still treat me as if it was yesterday. whenever I carry anything or just be crazy and perform any of my stunts, my mom will start lecturing me on how special my condition is. Where I live, if I walk into a place,, I'll turn heads as I walk and sit straight as if I jumped out of a runway catwalking. I hate the awful scar as it controls what I wear since I spend time hiding it. Because of the curve, i got tired quickly and it affected my breathing. my shoulders were not straight and wearing high heels was not a good idea.

          Do I regret it?? NEVER. I feel special as models practice the catwalk and I have it installed in me. I feel cared about when my mom shows her concerns (but not overshow - thats annoying). More than that, I fit perfectly in dresses and body wraping clothes. They're designed for models and I feel like one. I don't care about the scar as I can keep my hair loose covering it.Guys think that I'm sexy and I keep hearing compliments about my amazing body language. It's like I've poped up from one of Vogue issues. I feel great now. My life has never been better. I still have back pain, but who doesn't!!!

          I think the surgery was the right decision for me. The curve was not improving and I've tried every solution out there before going for surgery.

          I'm sorry for the quite long reply but its important that you look to the bright side and start attracting positive thoughts.
          w/curves of 75 degrees Fused T2-L3 in 1999 at Age 14, Fine job done by Dr. Paul Sponseller at John Hopkins Medical - Baltimore, Maryland.

          Comment


          • #6
            Witty,
            I am so glad to hear all the positives that have come from your surgery. It is true that I NEED to start thinking in a more positive way. I think it is just one of those days (BAD DAY). I hope I am able to look at my surgery in the way that you have been able to.

            Okay, I hope this isn't even more negative. I really am just curious...What are peoples experiences with....Once you recover from surgery, do you feel the rods/screws in your spine anymore? I only feel it occassionaly like if I twist a little too far, or lay a certain way. When I am one day able to bend and stretch my back will I physically be able to tell that I have rods and screws in my back?

            Thanks for all the support you guys.
            -Christine
            Surgery completed July, 2007
            Fused from T4-T12
            23years old

            Comment


            • #7
              Hey Christine,
              I remember feeling like that after my surgery. I kept saying to myself 'It can only get better from here' and 'look how far I've come', which was helpful to get a reality check. I remember when I couldn't walk further than a few steps, and then one day I made it to the top of my street... it felt like a huge achievement!
              I am one of the unlucky people that needs a revision, but I'm part of a rare clan! I think it's something like 2 people in 1000 that need a re-operation. I don't regret my choice to have the first surgery, it made a huge difference in my life. I think without it I would have had a poor quality of life. If you think of how things were before, then you may remember why you made the decision. It will get better.
              I can't feel any signs of having the metalware in me, it feels normal to me. The only difference is the lack of flexibility. Mine was an anterior surgery though.
              Hope you start feeling better soon.
              1994 curve at age 13, 70 degrees, untreated
              2000 Anterior fusion with instrumentation T9-L2, corrected to 36 degrees, 14 degree angle between fused and un-fused thoracic spine.
              2007 26 degrees junctional scoliosis
              Revision surgery, 6th December 2007 T4 to L3, Posterior approach.
              msandham.blogspot.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Don't get discouraged. I'm about 3 1/2 months post-op and still experience pain. That doesn't mean that I regret the surgery though. The pain I had pre-op is gone. Now I am just dealing with post-op pain, but once I take a step back and look at the big picture, I've come a long way since June. You will too. As others have said, no one really realizes just how long this recovery is until you do it yourself. I have hope that it is worth it in the end because of all the amazing stories people have told on this forum.

                By the way, yes I can still feel my rods and screws (one screw in particular). I haven't really gained the weight back yet that I lost though. I don't know if that will help.

                Best,
                Anya
                "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

                Previously 55 degree thoracolumbar curve
                Surgery June 5, 2007 - Dr. Clifford Tribus, University of Wisconsin Hospital
                19 degrees post-op!

                http://abhbarry.blogspot.com

                Comment


                • #9
                  I agree with Lisa. I've only just gone 2 months post-op and im in less pain then what I was when I first came home. I know take pain medication when I need. Its taken me a while to get use to the fact that I now have 3 rods in my back that'll be there for life. Having a good group of friends around helps alot. Hope things improve for you. Take it easy. Jacinta
                  2002 - 42 degree curve (top) and 38 degree curve (bottom)

                  2003 - 43 degree curve (top) and 37 degree curve (bottom)

                  2007 - 46 degree curve (top) and 48 degree curve (bottom)

                  Anterior/Posterior surgery 17th of July and 31st of July 2007 and 2.5 cm's taller

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you to everyone for all the support. It is helpful to hear that I will feel better.

                    Quick question. During the first few months after surgery and even long after, has anyone experienced extreme tightness and pain in their neck and shoulder area? I had this problem for years before surgery and was hoping it would feel better after. I hope that once I can stretch more I will start feeling better in that area. Any input will be helpful.

                    -Christine
                    Surgery completed July, 2007
                    Fused from T4-T12
                    23years old

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm only 2 months post-op and I'm still sore between my shoulders. I guess everyone heals differently to eachother
                      2002 - 42 degree curve (top) and 38 degree curve (bottom)

                      2003 - 43 degree curve (top) and 37 degree curve (bottom)

                      2007 - 46 degree curve (top) and 48 degree curve (bottom)

                      Anterior/Posterior surgery 17th of July and 31st of July 2007 and 2.5 cm's taller

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Christine,

                        You have already received some excellent advice, but I just have to chime in here. I think we all have expectations for ourselves after our surgeries!!! That's normal, and I think it's normal when we don't meet up with them.

                        I think we also compare our recoveries with others and that can be a mistake. I know I had second thoughts about having my surgeries for about 9 months if not longer, but we all heal differently, and the one thing that has made it the right decision for me, is that I do not have the same pain I had before my surgeries!!!

                        It took a while before I could say that, but it's true. You are so new in your recovery process, and I know how easy it is to get discouaged, but take it from all of us that have responded to you, that you have to give it time!!!

                        We all know how frustrating it is, but it does get better!!! Don't let yourself get too frustrated and discouraged so soon!!! But don't feel ashamed for feeling that way!!! Most of us have been in that same position!!!

                        If it means anything to you, I had an extensive 2 part surgery, a rough recovery, and the most gratifying part of it all, is that I can lye down without pain, something I could never do before.

                        Just give your recovery some time,
                        Shari

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thank you everyone for all your support. You are incredible individuals, who have a great amount of compassion for others.

                          After my terribly negative posts last week (SORRY), I must say that I am starting to feel better. I think one of the key components was the withdrawl symptoms from the narcotics. I think I was on them way too long (10 weeks). Right now I feel like my mind is much more clear, and my body is starting to feel better.

                          I have been able to identify the importance of human contact. That was also one of my problems, too much alone time. My goal for this week is making plans to go out at least for an hour or two with friends.

                          Thank you for all your insightful words of encouragement. Take care.
                          -Christine
                          Surgery completed July, 2007
                          Fused from T4-T12
                          23years old

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yeah I got the same problem with those narcotics.. you're not alone!

                            During my hospital stay, I hate using morphine.. It would give me bad dreams and make me feel depressed.
                            Then when I got home, I had oxycodone and tylenol 3.. man I was mad at people for no reason. the worst part was that you'll have to wake up during the night to take the pills to sleep well. then 3 weeks postop i tried to withdraw entirely but can't because it feels like you need them or my body causes pain.
                            i just said to myself this is just psychological pain. i switched to tylenol extrastrength 500mg acetaminophen and feel much better psychologically and painwise.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Justin,

                              It is nice to know that I am not the only who felt negatively affected by the narcotics. After three weeks I tried taking myself off of them, and felt so irritable and anxious, that I started taking them to ease those symptoms. Then my body started depending on them and I was afraid of being in too much pain if I stopped. Finally around week 9 I gradually began cutting back, still experiencing withdrawl symptoms. At that point I was determined to deal with the discomfort in order to feel normal again. My stomach was constantly upset, I couldn't stop sneezing, my eyes were watery, my thoughts were so cloudy and distorted....I could go on forever. The good thing is that 8 days later (currently) I am starting to feel much much better.

                              So moral of the story, get yourself off narcotics as soon as you feel comfortable enough pain wise to do so!

                              -Christine
                              Surgery completed July, 2007
                              Fused from T4-T12
                              23years old

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X