Hitting the wall.....

[crepehanger]

Now i get what all of you have been talking about, at a certain point in recovery,(4-5 weeks) feeling tired and like you are losing ground. I have had a great recovery, BUT, i am so tired of the monotony of the pill regimen, the physical therapy i KNOW i have to do twice a day, the fighting to eat enough to keep from dropping more weight, insomnia, night sweats,and my primary care physician scaring the living hell out of me when i went in to see him last monday. I have been very frightened of catching a cold, as i have to keep the asthma under control, and i am scared of , to the point of being phobic of going out in public. He did not mean to "fan the flames", but he kept repeating that I could not get any infection, that it would be "disastrous" for me, with all the implants. He gave me a preventative prescription for antibiotics in case I needed him and could not reach him quickly. Truthfully, I am sure i let it get to me because of not having enough to do and being scared about being off work. I am going to try driving today and see if i get a small sense of control back in my life. So, the moral to the story is, thank all of you for writing in about your "not so good" days, too, as it helps to hear and learn how you cope!! thanks for letting me vent.......... Lisa

[CStadler]

If you don't mind me asking how extensive was the fusion in the end. Did he go to the sacrum?

[suzyjay]

Lisa
It gets better, but it's a long recovery.

Sue

[Theresa]

Lisa,

Hang in there!!! It will get better!!!! Just take it day by day. Look at what you couldn't do 2 weeks ago compared to now. I am 6 weeks post op this coming Monday and I have just started driving again also. It helps because you know you can run to the store if you need to. Just don't over do. When you park, try to pull through a space so that you don't have to back out of the parking space. I can't drive for more than 20 minutes before I start hurting to much and need to walk some. I won't even get on the freeway for at least another month.

[crepehanger]

hello cstadler-

yes, I was fused to the sacrum-when I figure out how to get to feet to trim toenails, i'll be grateful. shaving is okay with another member's idea to tape razor to plastic spoon to get the extra length- I am sure as healing comes and more bending is allowed, that will come too....Lisa thanks suzyjay and theresa, for the support....

[SandyC]

Lisa,
You'll get thru....it's just hard some days. By the way I'm fused T4-S1. It took me about 6 months to get to the point of being able to tie my tennies. I had my surgery in '02. I can now cut and paint my own toenails and so will you, it just will take some time
Sandy

[LEELEE85]

I just did a thread about me needing to vent and im 5 wks post op and going through an emotional time.

About the night sweats i have been getting them every night since my surgery. Why do we get them???

Lee

[Shari]

Hi Lisa,

Venting is one of the things this forum is for!!! I know I felt like I couldn't express my feelings and pain to anyone around me at the time, not that they didn't care, but that they had no idea of what I was going through.

We all have had good days and bad days afterwards, it's normal!!! On a good day I would walk around the house in my brace and wave my arms like the robot in "Lost in Space" saying "Danger, Danger, Will Robinson. It made me laugh.

I didn't want anyone to come to the house that even thought they had a cold or the flu. The last thing I wanted to do was to sneeze or puke. I would spray doornobs and faucets with disinfectent, if I even thought someone might be sick and have germs.

Just know what you're feeling, other have gone though. You're not alone!!!

Shari

[crepehanger]

Oh, Thank God!

i am so glad to know i am not the only germophobe with a lysol can, and others have those darned night sweats, i will be able to trim my own toenails someday and drive !!!! thanks for sharing, everyone... I googled post-op night sweats and read an article that seemed to connect surgeries that involved heart and lung machines, long surgeries, and pulmonary damage from the stress of the operations, to the night sweats. But, they indicated they would go away in time. I am waiting for that day. Lisa

[lelc2002@yahoo]

Lisa & others on recovery--it is very long slow recovery, at least it was for me at 46. Patience is the key and to look at how much more you can do week by week or have a friend or loved one point it out if you don't see it...... I was down many a day thru it & normally am an 'up' kind of person. When you drive again though, you'll feel great!
Now I look at people with a handicap or after a surgery much more compassionately. I try to help whoever I can & realize the struggle they are going thru to get better...take it slow...Lynne

[crepehanger]

Me, too, Lynne

I, too have become so much more aware of handicapped people and what they go through, I always had compassion, but now I think more about the shut-ins and people that are confined to beds and wheelchairs permanently. It really hit hard when we had hard rain and floods the day after I came home from rehab and I was so terrified i had full fledged panic attacks because I was alone at night and live out in the county. i made it through without incident, but have a new found respect for those struggling with health and recovery.

[lelc2002@yahoo]

I now applied for a job as a P.T. Aide at the rehab where I was recovering last August. Sounds like I may be helping out there soon. I'd love to be a Physical Therapist but would have to go back for some courses and probably have to take dreaded Chemistry again....
I hardly ever complain about anything these days. I am so happy & thankful to have found a surgeon that could help me. Going thru this huge surgery has really opened my eyes and made me a better person. I am almost a year now and still look back & have to take a deep breath now & then remembering the whole ordeal. I saw a poster the other day in the rehab that summed it all up. It compared something like this to preparing for a big race and how much work, mentally & physically it takes to get yourself ready. I had to copy the words down & later called the company to have them send me the poster! It shows a man running on the beach....Ly

fused t11-L5 aug 1st '06...almost a year & feelin'
95 curve down to 60 great!!

[bbest]

My surgeon says "It's a big operation and a long recovery" every time I see him and I'm 13 months post-op. I know how you feel, but try to focus on the positives. Think back to when you were in the hospital and all the limitations you had. Now, think of the small things you are able to do for yourself. You'll see. You improve little by little a day, week, month, year at a time. Hang in there, I promise it gets better.

Brandi