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  • girlie stuff

    These little girlie concerns have been irking me for sometime now... my surgery is a little over a week away (YIKES!) and I am hoping to get some answers / advice on some things.

    When are you able to wear a bra again? I am terribly modest, and I am concerned about not being able to put on a bra with the incision just under the closure... is this even an issue?

    Shaving legs - how in the heck do you accomplish this without bending? I have noted that some people have attached razors to a stick, but how exactly does that work?

    Showering in general. Again I am modest and do not wish to have assistance in the shower or bathroom... what are your experiences. How long after surgery were you able to shower or use the bathroom?

    Menstration: I have heard that the stress of surgery causes most women to get their periods. How is this handled? What do you do?

    These seem like silly questions, but I am very nervous about these things (on top of everything else). Any advice would be very helpful. When do you get to feel like a lady again? I can not stand the idea of lying around in my own filth! When will I be human again? Thank you

  • #2
    Yes, you will wear a bra again. In about two weeks and I was fused from T3 to L5. I got an electric razor and layed on the bed and lifted my legs up to shave them. But in about three weeks, I felt comfortable enough to do it in the shower just like before. You WILL still bend, just at the hips and I NEVER noticed the difference. Your life will return to complete normalcy as far as movement in a short time so don't spend anytime worrying about it. I had my original surgery in 98 and one year later got back on my show horses and was riding hard. I got a little light headed the first time in the shower which was about 7 days post-op but that was from laying around. After that, I gained strength each day. I'm telling you, life will be just fine. Krysi

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    • #3
      Hi Azalea,

      NO questions are silly! We are here to help you.

      You might want to get a lounge bra, no wires or hooks. Mine was very comfortable even though it was over my scar.

      As for shaving your legs you should be o.k. you aren't having your lumbar fused and that is where you will bend over to reach. You can put a plastic chair in with you to put your leg on if you need to. I'm fused to L4 and had no trouble reaching.

      I showered alone once I got home and made it pretty quick after reading about everyone being light headed. I was fine. It was 9 days post-op and my Dr. said showering was o.k. as long as the spray wasn't directly on my sutures. You won't be laying in filth. Ever had a cold or flu when you just didn't feel like showering. You don't get very dirty. Your hair might need washing. You can use facial cleaning cloths to clean up if you feel like you need to freshen up. My husband helped me at about day 5 they work great, no soap needed and they moisturise so you don't feel dry.

      I too had heard about the surgery triggering your period so I was prepared. It didn't trigger mine. (Due to being on the pill my gyn said when I asked later.)

      As to feeling like a lady again I would say anytime after your first shower, when you shave for the first time, put on make up, do your hair or just look in the mirror and realise how wonderful your back looks straighter then it was! Any one of these thing can do it for you. You will do great and be great when you get past the waiting. That I think, is truly the hard part. Best wishes.

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      • #4
        Azalea,

        I would recommend purchasing a front closure bra. It's much easier to put on and take off - and certainly manageable by yourself. I would also suggest purchasing some new sleepwear that buttons in the front as well so that you can get it on and off by yourself. Over-the-head apparel is way too hard, even for me now at nearly 3 months out.

        I also had concerns with modesty, but I was in pain and pretty well drugged up that they became less of a concern for the week to two weeks immediately after surgery.

        Do be careful about showering. I ended up passing out in the shower about 3 weeks after surgery. Thankfully my husband was nearby and able to drag me out of the shower and eventually wake me up. No one had warned me about this, that's why I'm telling you...not to scare you, just to make sure you are aware. Try to have someone within yelling distance as I was.
        28 years old
        Wore brace for 3 years as a teen
        Successful surgery with Dr. Lenke on January 12, 2007

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        • #5
          Great and informative questions. Do people also recommend button up or zip-up shirts to wear. I've been looking everywhere for a zip-up short sleeve shirt, and can't find one.

          Best,
          Anya
          "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

          Previously 55 degree thoracolumbar curve
          Surgery June 5, 2007 - Dr. Clifford Tribus, University of Wisconsin Hospital
          19 degrees post-op!

          http://abhbarry.blogspot.com

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          • #6
            Azalea,
            I had some of the same concerns. Afterwards I kind of laughed about it because the first few weeks after surgery I could not have cared less about being modest. My mom helped me in the shower and I thought that would make me feel "funny"- it didn't. I worried too about shaving my legs- I bought an electric razor and that made it easier. Immediately after surgery the nurses will bathe you daily-and as far as washing you hair-the hospital I was in had a guy that went around washing hair. It was great! He charged $35 and somehow washed my hair in bed without getting the sheets wet. It was worth it. I did not have my period for 3 months after surgery- I don't think you will have to worry about that. I also worried about the bra thing. I did not want to wear one for awhile so instead I bought little vests that went over my shirts-that works great! Also- I did have my legs waxed right before surgery. Nothing will grow for awhile and it made me feel better at the time-Hope this helps!
            Cathie

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            • #7
              Shirts

              Anya,

              Have you checked your husband's closet for shirts?? That's where I have been finding most of mine lately. At least for wearing around the house. If I go out that is another story. And yes I would totally recommend button-up or zipper shirts. I know that New York and Company has a lot of button-up shirts. Not sure where you would find zippered short sleeve shirts. Be wary of hoods - I made that mistake (you can make due but its awkward). Good luck!
              28 years old
              Wore brace for 3 years as a teen
              Successful surgery with Dr. Lenke on January 12, 2007

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Azalea.
                I've also always been modest and self-concious, but believe me, after the surgery once the pain meds kick in, you won't really care. I did get my period and they gave me pads to wear. They won't let you wear tampons in the hospital. Before my surgery, I had my legs waxed. That way, they remained hairless for a long time. My lumbar spine is fused, and to this day, still have trouble shaving my legs, as well as cutting my toenails. Oh, and I also had my hair cut and highlighted before the surgery. Honestly, when I first looked in the mirror, it made me feel really good to see my highlights.

                I did not shower until I got to rehab. They had a shower room and the nurses did everything for me while I sat there. Even though I was totally naked, it felt sooooo good to be clean...I didn't even care what I looked like. When I got home, I had a shower chair to sit on b/c my balance was off and I was not confident standing until I was about 2 months post op.

                I cannot be of much help in the bra area, b/c I am so flat-chested, I really managed without a bra for a while. I wore t-shirts under my brace. My incisions were below the bra strap in the back.

                Bring some nice hand and face lotions for the hospital. Also I had these Oil of Olay premoistened facial towelettes which smelled nice and made me feel refreshed.

                Hope this was helpful...good luck!
                Heather
                Surgery date: April 20, 2004
                Anterior/posterior surgery
                Fused T-11 to L-5
                Pre op lumbar curve: 70 degrees, thoracic curve: 42 degrees
                Post op lumbar curve: 19 degrees, thoracic curve: 18
                Surgeon: Dr. Boachie-Adjei
                Had successful pregnancy and birth 2 years post-op

                Comment


                • #9
                  I know I'm a kid and had a different surgery, but it's all relative. My surgery triggered my period, but the nurses totally took care of everything. I was soooo out of it, and I had no idea until a few days later. No big deal, though. I'm extremely modest as well, but trust me, when you're in the hospital, modesty goes out the window. When they gave me my first shower, it was heaven because I just felt sooo normal again. After my first shower with them, they stayed in the bathroom but let me so it mostly by myself, which I really appreciated. Those cleansing wipes were spectacular... I used Ponds, and they were so great. I only took 2 showers in a 7 day hospital stay because it exhausted me for a day or so, and those wipes kept me feeling clean. My mom wiped down my arms, legs, and face and I loved it! Don't worry about feeling human again, it'll come much quicker than you think!
                  Last edited by drummergrl; 04-06-2007, 10:05 PM.
                  Scoliosis for 8 years, Milwaukee, Providence & Boston braces. 35T 42L Dx'd with Chiari Malformation 8/06, decompression surgery + duraplasty 11/24/06.

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                  • #10
                    Hi

                    I was worried about these issues too, but the time goes quickly and you will be fine.

                    I had my surgery in January and have not yet been able to wear a bra yet, but mainly because it rubs on my brace and irritates me. I think it is different for each person, so you may be abe to fairly soon.

                    Shaving and bathing - I have not been allowed to do this on my own yet. My hubby has to shave my legs for me, I take care of my bikini line. He also has to help me to wash. I have not been allowed to have a proper bath and we don't have a walk in shower, so that isn't an option for me. I have got a bath board that I have to sit on. I hated this to begin with, but soon got used to it. I was in hospital for two weeks and lost a lot of confidence, so I really needed someone to be with me in the bathroom.

                    Menstruation - I was lucky and didn't come on after surgery. I have only just last week had my first post op period. I wouldn't worry about it though. The nurses have seen it all before and will handle everything for you. You will also be quite out of it so you won't really care.

                    Modesty does go out of the window after this type of surgery, but you soon get used to it. I have found that it is much better to laugh about it. There will be others in the same position as you and for me it became a common topic of conversation in my bay and a good way of bonding with your ward mates.

                    You will be feeling like a woman in no time once you get home. Even though I still need a lot of help, I have regained most of my dignity and feel like myself again.

                    I wish you all the best of luck for your surgery. Keep us posted on you progress and don't forget, if you need support, we are all here for you.

                    Karen xx
                    Anterior surgery 18th Jan 07
                    Fused from T8 to T12 with 2 ribs removed
                    Surgery was done by Mr Harrison and his team at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore, England
                    Revision posterior surgery on 26th April 07 to remove protruding rib stumps
                    No longer wearing a Stanmore custom hard backed brace
                    Posterior surgery on 18th August 08 due to non fusion of first op and further kyphosis. Two rods from T2 to T12

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      These replies have all been very helpful. I wish I would have asked these questions much sooner, as I feel as though I may have lost too much time now to accomplish things like leg waxing, hair appointments and so forth. I have been letting every little aspect of surgery eat at me and I do not know how to let it go. All of your comments let me know that you survived it, all of it. Hopefully, I will too. It does sound like everybody's experiences are different. Only a week away... and I have still not convinced myself that this will happen. I still may change my mind...
                      Which leads me to another question... what were your reasons for having surgery? Thank you

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                      • #12
                        Hi Azalea,
                        Regarding reasons for having the surgery-I think for most of us and probably you as well it is because the curve will progress if we don't and surgery is inevitable so we might as well get it overwith! You are young and that will make a huge difference in your recovery time!! And it sounds like your fusion will not be all the way down, right? I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you bounce back. I am 45 and am 4 months post op- I am doing fine but from what I have read the younger girls have it much easier. By the way, I "obsessed" about all the details too and looking back it was a great diversion for me and kept me too busy to get upset- so obsess away! I will be praying for you-you will be fine!
                        Cathie

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                        • #13
                          Thank you, Cathie.
                          My surgery is only a week away, and while I have been crying daily since setting the date... I am entering into panic mode now. It is nice to hear words of encouragment. I made the decision (although I honestly am still undecided) to do this out of exhaustion. I am tired of monitering my curves and living in fear of possibly needing surgery down the line. I was told I should have the procedure within the next two years while I am still youthful. So I set the date, and now it is approaching much to quickly. I am finding this whole thing to be much bigger than me. Much bigger than what I am built to handle, and I am losing sanity more and more every day. I have been told my suspected fusion of T6 - L1 is not that long - but to me it seems gigantic to me. How do I even get myself to the hospital like this, I barely made it out for Easter dinner with family. I feel weak and fearful and ashamed of feeling this way on top of the fear. How am i going to do this?
                          I know...its another pathetic whiney post by Azalea, but I just can not get past the gravity of all this.

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                          • #14
                            Hi Azaela,
                            What you are feeling is perfectly normal. I wish you would believe when I say that it WILL be alright. Pain meds will help you a lot. Honestly, I had a c-section 16 months ago and the pain from that afterward was worse.

                            I forgot to mention in my first post that my period was supposed to start the day of my surgery (first one) and was so worried. Well it actually stopped it and I only ended up with some spotting.

                            Hang in there and remember that we are all in the same boat. It will all be fine. Krysi

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Azaela,

                              I have a surgery date scheduled a month from now. Like you, and probably like all of our online friends with scoliosis, I question whether I am making the "right" decision. I had a second opinion appointment last week that has me again weighing my options. A healthy dose of fear and anxiety is normal, but you must have confidence that the decision you are making is the best one you can possibly make at this point in your life. YOU are in the driver's seat. No one is going to second guess your decision whether you decide to go ahead with the scheduled surgery or postpone it. If you have not already made a list for yourself about WHY you might do this surgery, make one now. I have a simple list by my bedside titled "WHY". My list includes: 1) having control of my life again so I have the ability to do the things I want to do when I want to do them, 2) pain reduction, 3) breathe more easily and increase my endurance, 4) go to the beach (currently I'm not able to walk the distance from the parking lot or make it up and down the huge dunes of Cape Cod and I miss the beach!), 5) a future! Post your list where you will see it several times a day and remember WHY you are doing this. I will be 57 years old when I have my surgery (T4-S1 for correction of an S curve and kyphosis). In my wildest dreams, I never thought a correction would be possible for me at my age. Yes, my hope is tinged with a margin of terror. However, the stories of heart, courage, determination, humor and SUCCESS that I have read on this wonderful board are sustaining me. I hope they will sustain you too. This group will support you -- whatever decision you make! Wishing you the peace of mind to make the "right" decision for YOU!
                              Linda W.
                              Linda
                              Two-stage A/P fusion T6-S1 with lumbar implants June 12 & June 27, 2007 at age 57
                              S curve 75+ degrees with kyphosis
                              Now 45 degrees and standing 3 inches taller!
                              Dr. Frank Rand, New England Baptist Hospital, Boston

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