Just curious

[Singer]

Did anyone write notes to their family before their surgery -- you know, the "to be opened in the event of my...." kind?? I know it seems rather melodramatic, but in light of the unusual tragedy we all witnessed recently, I've been thinking about it. I wonder if it would make me feel better or worse. Oi vay.

[SandyC]

Singer,
I had both a Will and a Power of Atterney drawn up...just in case . I brought a copy of my request of (I forgot what it is called) of what to do medically if I'm unable to make a decision about end of life issues. It is a smart thing to do. It relives the family of making those kind of decisions for you and gives them the knowledge that they are doing what you wanted.

[HGD24]

My hospital sends a copy of an Advanced Directive to every incoming patient. You can fill out as much or as little as you like, change wording or create your own, but it is best to have something like this on file with both your hospital, doctor's office and attorney's office should anything happen to you.

As for writing letters to loved ones expressing my love and feelings for them...no I didn't do that. I wanted to go in with as much of a positive attitude as possible. We learned in our relaxation class that studies have shown that people who go into sugery thinking positive thoughts about recovery have much better recoveries than those who go in thinking negatively and I think that writing letters like that would definitely have had me thinking negatively.

[Singer]

Heidi -- Sometimes it seems like a fine line for me between thinking negatively and simply being realistic. I actually believe that I will be fine with this surgery because I trust Dr. Boachie. But there's also something about facing the ultimate "what-if" that I would not call negative, exactly....perhaps because I have a certain amount of faith. I would even say there is a bit of a release in it -- like -- instead of being AFRAID to think about it, I can just think about it -- and move on.

Yeah, I have a tendency to overanalyze (gee-- do ya think??!)! So now I'm going to sit down and watch some mindless TV.....

[bbest]

I had an advanced directive, but didn't write anything personal to anyone. I refused to let my mind even go there.

Chris, I don't think planning for the what-if's are a bad or negative thing. We all know it can happen especially after Trudy's tragedy. I just personally couldn't allow myself to consider it as a possibility.

[MishP]

Heidi -- Sometimes it seems like a fine line for me between thinking negatively and simply being realistic. I actually believe that I will be fine with this surgery because I trust Dr. Boachie. But there's also something about facing the ultimate "what-if" that I would not call negative, exactly....perhaps because I have a certain amount of faith. I would even say there is a bit of a release in it -- like -- instead of being AFRAID to think about it, I can just think about it -- and move on.

Yeah, I have a tendency to overanalyze (gee-- do ya think??!)! So now I'm going to sit down and watch some mindless TV.....

Chris,
I thought I was the only one thinking about this! I'm going to write those notes. I consider myself, like you, more of a realistic person and not necessarily negative. I guess we have to realize that something may happen and if it does I'd like to be prepared and make sure my family knows how I felt. I've lost too many people suddenly and never really got closure. This will give closure to those I may leave behind.

OK, I'm getting a little dramatic now too. Back to the mindless TV....

[Houston Curves]

This is a wonderful idea! I hadn't thought of it, but with two small girls, this could be really nice for them one day - even it everthing goes well.

Ann

[Shari]

Hi Chris,

The only thing I did before my surgery was write a note stating I wanted my body to be donated to a teaching hospital for scoliosis research.

I didn't tell anyone, I just assumed if something happened, they would find it.

I know how hard you took this tradegy!!! But I also know that, that outcome can result from ANY surgery, and that it is very REMOTE!!!

If writing something down makes you feel better, then do it!!!

When I first joined this forum, I privately corresponded with someone that is no longer here, and one of the questions she told me to ask my Dr. was, if anyone had ever died on him. It's a valid question!!!

I understand how easy it is to focus on the negative, and how hard it is to push in the positive, at times. I hope you know you are not alone!!!

My heart goes out to you, because the knowledge we gain here can be both insightful and frightening!!! I wish I could give you a big hug!!!

Shari

[kazyn]

I didn't write letters, but I made sure that I went round and said my goodbyes to everyone, just incase. I have got to go back into surgery again soon due to a complication with the hardware, so I might this time.

[flowerpower]

I say do whatever feels right to you....and like Ann(Houston Curves) said, it might even be something you would want to share later, after your successful surgery

Renee

[Singer]

Thanks for all your responses. Call me crazy, but I feel so much better after having brought this up. It's very good to know I'm not the only one thinking about this.

I just want to make it clear that intellectually I truly believe that everything will be fine and my surgery will be successful. It's the emotional part that's up for grabs. I'm starting to come around, though, thanks to being able to vent on this forum. So glad you guys are here.

[lelc2002@yahoo]

I would never ever let myself go there...sorry but I had to know I would survive & be better for it to get me thru to the other side..........Ly

[Robbie]

I didn't even consider the idea of doing anything like that before my surgery. The thought of anything going wrong didn't even cross my mind. I can see it being a very good idea to do something like that, though.

[loiskerr]

Write or not?

Well I did all of it. I'm a single mom and didn't want my girls left hanging. I wrote a will, advance directive and power of attorney. I have a 26 year old and a 12 year old. I'm very practical and felt I should of done this much sooner. Like before I needed an operation. I also wrote each of my daughters letters and was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I lost my dad at an early age and wish I had something from him. I took it all to the bank the day before the operation and had it notorized. Gave the hospital the advance dir. and went in the op room with a clear mind knowing I made all the hard calls and left that up to no one. I also called my best friend and told her so she could help my daughter if any scary calls had to be made. So do whats in your heart. Having everything in order gives me peace.Lois