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spincon58
05-09-2004, 11:40 AM
Hi,

You would never believe that I'm 45 and my family always have some opinion about everything...They are convinced that I shouldn't have the surgery now...they said wait whats the hurry....It has to get done...so why wait? Thats what happens when your the youngest of 5 kids...and having 3 older sisters....I just once wish they would say ...what ever you decide we support you...

ellie
05-09-2004, 12:34 PM
Hi Connie,

Families can be so much fun! When I was told I would not be having children (I did manage to have 1) my mother told me to adopt! Which would have been a great suggestion, but she then went on to tell me she was talking about where you send $25 to a child each month and that would fufill my needs for a child!

My daughter just found out she has scoliosis and her curves were bigger than we thought 26T 38L. They felt she would be headed for surgery. My mothers reaction was there was no way she should have surgery. How could I even think about it. She told me to have her do yoga (sent a tape even) thats what she does to help hers. She did not find out she had it until she was an adult, and her curves are not very big.

I am really tired of hearing everyone's opinion! Your family should just support you in whatever you decided. It is not like you just woke up and decided that you want to have major surgery. You probably and been thinking about this every minute of every day!
Ask them if they can not support you to please keep their opinions to themeselves because it does not help!
(Just my Opinion!)

Good luck,

Ellie's Mom

spincon58
05-09-2004, 10:14 PM
It's crazy , I want to have the surgery at the end of June and my husband and kids want me to have it in November....this is the discussion on mothers day oh by the way ..HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MOMS OUT THERE...so we'll see...what I decided

momoflacrosse
05-09-2004, 11:03 PM
if and when I get a chance to have corrective surgery it certainly will have to be early summer as I need to have someone around to help - remember that you are the one who is suffering( i can relate ) and the choice has to be yours not your family's. I agree with the earlier advice to do what you believe is right for you and to tell your family to be there for you but to keep their opinions to themselves if they aren't supportive.

MaryK
05-10-2004, 10:33 PM
Here's a consideration; New Jersey + November = ice ; ice + back surgery = a problem. I know your family is scared. Having mom go into major surgery is awful frightening, but consider the weather of your state. June may be sooner, but there would be no snow and ice to possiblely deal with. You will also be able to relax out of doors during recovery, very important when you can't move too far!! June is also brighter (sun wise) and more colorful which helps fight against depression. I would suggest that you sit down one on one with each and have them tell you their fears bout this surgery. Ask them to be honest. Then explain to each why this surgery is important have why summer might be better and easier. Waiting is terrible for the soon to be patient. Finally, consider what you really want. This surgery is about your body and your health. What is beeter for you personally. When you decide that tell your family that this is the way it will be and why and that you won't change your mind. If it would help for them to here from a person who had surgery I'd be happy to share my story. God Bless, and good luck deciding.