View Full Version : Made the date scared to death

03-04-2007, 12:30 PM
Well, I have finally moved forward with my decision to have surgery. It is planned for May 14, the day after mothers day. As the days get closer I am more scared. I am working hard to get everything in place at work and at home. I have three young kids, who are dealing with all of thing in their own unique ways....very challenging at times. My husband and I try to be very positve about everything. I am very worried, as my husband is self-employed, thus putting a hardship on him. I am wondering, do I need family assistance all the time at the hospital?? I have been encouraging him to work on the day of surgery, it is no fun to sit around in a hospital for someone who is having surgery for 8 hours!

Can anyone recommend relaxation CD's?
Any tips to support kids that are 10, 7, and 3 would be helpful!

I will be fused T-4- L-3, longer than I had hoped, but it seems to make the most sense.

57 degree curve :(

03-04-2007, 05:40 PM
Hi Kari,

I just made my surgery decision too, so I feel some of your emotions. We are actually having the same fusion - T4-L3, but my surgery is 2 weeks after your's.

I think people who have already gone through it will give you (and me) better advice, but I'm here if you want to chat or PM me since we'll be having surgery around the same time.

Best of luck,

03-04-2007, 07:34 PM
Hi Kari,
I had surgery almost 3 months ago and I think you will like having someone at the hospital whenever visiting hours allow. It is such a comfort to have family members there! I am glad you found this forum- it was such an encouragement to me (and still is), The recovery is somewhat slow but you will do fine-I see improvements all the time in my strength, energy, etc. Everyone will tell you the waiting is almost the worst part-just think about the fact that this is soon to be over with and you will have a new back and a better future because of it!

03-05-2007, 04:12 PM

yeah it is definately a good idea to have someone there when possible, not only for company but also to bring nice food lol-im in the u.k and the food was probably the worst part of my surgery experience he he.

With regards to your husband-i had someone with me before i went under anaesthetic which was nice-but i agree its difficut for someone to wait around for 8 hours but i would let him make the decision rather than make it for him...it is hard experience for us to go throu but also family and friends go through a lot.

I wouldnt advise the kids see you for atleast a fews days post op-simply because you wont look your normal self-let your husband see how things go then he can decide when to take them in.

I have a niece of 6 who was my personal nurse when i got home he he-she made me call her dr.and she checked my heart every now and again-now that im better i tell her its because of her im feeling btter so quickly.
hope this helps-if not sorry

03-05-2007, 08:54 PM
Thanks for your support and sharing about your niece!

Grand idea, my 3 year old loves to play doctor! It makes me happy thinking I can let him do that a little.


03-08-2007, 12:22 PM
Hi Kari,
Do you have someone to stay with you while your husband is at work and to take/pick up the kids from school? (When you get home.) Your 3 year old will need to be watched as you will pretty much be out of it for the first few days.

The best thing I did was to prepare and freeze almost a month of meals. I have 2 kids that were 16 and 10 at the time. That way my husband didn't need to think about meals. No stress in the kitchen helps the whole family! I also found a housekeeper to do a little bit of cleaning so my husband didn't need to worry about that too. Just a couple of hours every 2 weeks made a huge difference. My house did not fall apart while I was recovering.

Neither my husband or my family sat around the hospital waiting for my surgery to end. Good thing too, as it took 8 hours not the 5 my Dr. thought.

Read as many post op posts as you can and you will see you have made a good decision to have this surgery. Fear of the unknown followed by fear of pain seem to be the two main issues once you have found the Dr. that instills confidence in what he can do for you. Having this surgery while you are young means you will heal faster and you won't go through years of future pain. It is a new beginning for you. Best wishes.

03-08-2007, 01:33 PM
Suzy, I think you're the first person I've heard of whose husband did not sit around waiting during the entire surgery. I would actually prefer my husband to be out and about also (so he doesn't sit there going nuts), but doesn't the doc request that someone be in the waiting room so updates can be given?

03-08-2007, 02:31 PM
My husband did'nt wait around the hospital too much...I took 10-11 hours so I certainly did not want him just sitting there. In fact my surgeon did'nt even come out at 'halftime' until about 3:30 to 4pm from my understanding...He mainly walked a bit in the city, had lunch & went back to his hotel room & called the family, friends etc...
Chris----the Dr. will call him on his cellphone if he's not there.. :)

03-09-2007, 04:49 PM
Hi Chris, I think they had my husbands cell # and our home# if they needed to reach him and also to tell him when I was done. He needed to pick up our kids from school. I do know my Step-Mom and Step-Dad were calling around the time when I was suppose to be done looking for an up date. My Dad was at work and Mom lives out of state. (She was updated by e-mail.) I don't know why a family member would have to be there. That is a long time to just sit waiting for updates that could be given by phone.
(I asked my husband about it just now, about update calls or when I was done, and he didn't remember.) I thought it best he stay busy, I didn't mind the thought of him being out of the hospital.

03-09-2007, 05:13 PM
Yes, I will definitely give Hubby "permission" to wander the streets of New York while I'm under....as long as he buys me something expensive..LOL!!!