I had a breakdown!!

[Lesly]

So, I had my first breakdown where I considered cancelling surgery. (And then when I was in so much pain yesterday from shopping with my family and I couldn't wait to get home and lay down, I realized, once again why it is I'm having the surgery!)

If anyone could give me any advice on this, it would be great, although just being able to vent here is wonderful in itself!

My sister is pregnant and she's due late February. She and I couldn't be any closer- we're best friends. So, naturally, since I don't have any children of my own yet, becoming an Aunt for the first time is thrilling to me! We just found out that she's having a girl.... and so I am even that much more excited that I'm getting a niece

Here's where my concern comes in... From what I've heard, the weight restriction while healing is limited to 10 lbs. At first, I was worried about how I'd go back to work, but other things, like holding my niece haden't even crossed my mind! I know many of you have children. Did the surgery affect how you were with them? I love babies... I have many in my family, and now especially, I want to be able to hold them!! I've heard different things about the weight restrictions during the entire healing process (1-2 years). I know that the most important thing is to make sure I heal properly, but it kills me to think about not being able to play with my niece.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Thank you all so much!!!

Lesly

[lelc2002@yahoo]

Hi Lesley,
Once you have this surgery, you definitely have to be cautious with lifting anything... Dr. Boachie's nurse told me up to 5lbs for now & I am a bit over 2 mths now... it is a challenge but early on, you don't feel much like doing stuff anyhow...I remember only carrying my plate of food upstairs to bed & that was about all I lifted for days....you're just real tired in the beginning of recovery...
I would think you would have to take a leave from work for about 2-3mths..unless you just do some stuff from home...
then again you are much younger so you may bounce back much faster. My side incision took quite a while to heal & so did my rib area...I could'nt have liftewd much if I had wanted to.....Ly

[LindaRacine]

Hi Lesly...

I'm a strong proponent of having surgery WHEN it's right. If holding your niece is important, why not put off surgery for a few years? It's rarely necessary to rush into scoliosis surgery.

Regards,
Linda

[SpringLilly]

Lesly-you didn't say what type of incision you were having, but truthfully, there are ways to be able to hold the baby anyway. You can always sit down and have someone bring the baby to you-you probably won't be doing a whole lot of walking or carrying anyway.

Also, you mentioned that your sister was still pregnant. Most babies are still under 10 lbs. when they are born. Maybe the little tyke will keep up with you as your weight restrictions go up.

Been there, done that, as far as the breakdowns go. Still doing it facing my second surgery. With my first surgery, I found out that I would need it in July, and I couldn't talk myself into it until that December.

Thank God we CAN vent! United we stand (sometimes literally!! LOL)

Mary

[gayle]

lesly when are you scheduled for surgery?its probably better to get it done now ,number one if you are in alot of pain from your curves and then again if you want to be able to play with your neice.if you get it done now,especially if you do it before the baby is born ,you can still hold her and by the time you recover fully you will be able to play with her full time instead of waiting till shes older .does that make sense?

[nharalamos]

Lesly,

Hi. I just recently came home from surgery. I was fused from T5 to L4/L5 (I can't remember exactly). I can totally relate to the breakdown - a couple of nights before my surgery (September 22nd) I was in tears and beside myself. I didn't know who to call. Luckily, my Drs. office had given me the names of 4 women who had undergone similar surgeries. I had talked to each of them (met one in person) several months prior to deciding on surgery. The evening I was in terrible distress so called Melody. She totally helped calm me down. I was worried about pain and everything about recovery. She told me that the first few days would be a blur, which they were - there would be some pain, but nothing heavy medication couldn't take care of. I still have some pain from time to time, I wear my brace and I'm taking my meds regularly.

About the restrictions, I'm barely allowed to do anything. I can't lift anything more than 5 lbs, I can't sit in a car for more than 5 minutes, I can't bend, twist or anything else. I know this will get better in time. I know how you must feel thinking that you might not be able to hold your sisters baby, but I'm sure that your sister would be more than happy to set her on your lap or next you while you're resting. Don't worry about that. My best friend from college came to visit me with her baby boy - about 7 months old and it killed me that I couln't hold him. But, she set him on the floor in front of me and he played with some of my favorite toys. That made me feel good. Besides, your sister could have more babies!! :-)

I hope this helps lift your spirits some. I wish you luck with your surgery and congrats on being an aunt come February!!

Nickie

[bbest]

I think almost everyone considers cancelling their surgery at least once. If it came right down to it, you could hold your niece while sitting in a comfortable chair. Give it some thought, weight the pros and cons, then make a decision you can live with.

My .02.

[JoAnn5]

Lesly, I had a brand new granddaughter (first grandchild too) when I had my surgery. She's the one thing that pushed me to try so hard in my recovery... the idea that if i ever wanted to hold her and do normal grandmotherly-type things with her, i'd have to have this surgery and get well from it... I took a precious photo of her to the hospital with me and looked at it constantly to keep me motivated... My best friend would hold the pic in front of me when i was first walking after the surgery... like a carrot in front of an old mule..lol....and it worked! I learned to walk again for Gracy....

Now it has been a year... yayyyy... and i keep Gracy just about every weekend.... it's wonderful... At first i'd just hold her while sitting... but we bonded so much then.... I don't regret a thing...

God bless you (((hugs)))
JoAnn

[dawney]

What you need to think about is your quality of life issues. That is what finally drove me to have the surgery. I thought of backing out numerous times. I am a little ove 1 month post op. I have good days and bad days. The only place I can sleep is on the couch. I have a sectional so my 11 year old son sleeps with me so I am not by myself. I had horriffic pain going from my butt all the way down to my right foot. I could barely walk down the steps in the morning. That pain is completely gone. The pain I am suffering from now in my torso will get better. I pray I do my exercises. I walk outside with my walker everyday. I feel so straight. It is an amazing feeling. You have to make the choice based on your pain level and you WILL know when the time is right.