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Mobee211
07-21-2006, 04:34 PM
and I was just so blind I couldn't see it. Wow I feel dumb. I'm so glad that you all helped to pull the woll off of my eyes.

I was talking to my mom today and I admit I was getting down on myself crying about health issues and worrying about my future etc. And you know, I have NOT been happy since I was in college. My mom sat me down and talked to me. I was upset saying I was dealt an unfair hand in life and that I was angry anry angry at God and at everyone else. And we talked and I sort of realized...I'm not perfect, but I only get 1 life. I'm never going to be 26 again. If the doctor said my spine is NOT curved enough to be noticed and everyone else says it is not really noticeable, then why am I wasting precdious time crying and worrying and being angry about it? I didn't even realize that I was focusing so much on myself but I guess I really was. She kept giving me examples of challenges others faced and I have to admit I was saying that they were nothing compared to what I faced. then she said I would never be happy if I did not accept myself for who I am and not keep trying to change everything about myself...just learn to go with the flow. And everyone has has told me that before but it never hit home.

Then my mom told me the clincher. She made me promise I would never tell anyone. I promised. Her best friend's son is my brother's buddy. Great kid and I love him to death. I have known him forever. Anyway my mother told me that he was born without genitals. He is now 23 but up until 2 years ago they did not know if he was truly a boy or a girl. He has scars all over his abdomen from where they created genitals for him. My mom said he almost died as a child and her friend was beside herself...and that is why she never had any more kids. I NEVER EVER knew that. I would never suspect. And what blows my mind is that this kid is now an engineer, climbs moutains in his free time, and has found the love of his life in a wonderful girl who loves him for who he is. And then I felt like a royal idiot for whining about myself and moaning about how many struggles I have faced. It was then that I sort of let go...and just realized that I am in control of my own happiness...I can choose to be miserable, or I can make the most of my life.

I'm choosing to LIVE. With all my flaws and faults. I just need to be me.

Thank you all so much for listening to my rants and I'm sorry if I was so wrapped up in myself. I admire you all so much. Hopefully I can get to where you are...and accept and love myself for who I am. I'm gonna work on that :) :):)

dorigirl
07-21-2006, 07:51 PM
I don't know, maybe it's just me. But if you promised your Mom that you would never tell anyone, didn't you just break that promise in a big way by posting that extremely private information on this site?!!!

Mobee211
07-22-2006, 08:44 AM
how would anyone here know who i am talking about???

jesus no matter what i post here i get reamed out

Suzy
07-22-2006, 11:34 AM
Well Mobee, Your last post on the thread "I wrote a letter to my surgeon" was dramatic.......... "I won't post again since it's clear that I upset you" No you didn't upset most people, they were just VERY concerned about you! You weren't dumb, just not focused in the right direction. And then you get upset with Dorigirl for stating the obvious about the promise to your Mom. You don't know who might log on to this forum and put 2&2 together and know who you are talking about. I bet you never thought about people who know that you are doing research on this site just might want to check it out for themselves. ESPECIALLY your Mom. I am glad you decided to take control of your own happiness. I hope you are able to. I have learned no matter how bad I might think things are for me, there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off then me.

LindaRacine
07-22-2006, 03:48 PM
Hi Mobee...

Glad you've seen the light. :-) Hope you will always be able to talk to your mother so honestly, and that you'll continue to be able to see that things aren't as bad as your mind sometimes leads you to believe. Good work.

Regards,
Linda

sweetness514
07-22-2006, 07:13 PM
Hi Mobee, well you have stated before that you were at a breaking point, and that hit home with me(b/c I often feel that way, with this last surgery, among many other things that happened this year), and now since you have been so blunt and honest without censoring yourself and let all your emotions out, I will do the same.

I have absolutely no problems with anybody coming here and posting about their fears, frustrations, complaints and sorrows, after all, I believe a forum is also for that-to reach out and share, and ultimately get support. I belive you got an enormous amount of support, and that is great. I understood what you meant, and I even could relate. What I had a problem with is the way you shared all you were dealing with. The talk about suicide OVER and over again, I'm afraid must have struck a cord with some of us who have battled depression, depressed periods and even thoughts of suicide b/c of scoliosis, surgeries and even other problems we may have in our lives. That includes myself, as I have been having ups and major lows since this last surgery, and may I say have been trying to deal with it the best way I can, but reading some of your posts didn't help. I hope you can realize that and maybe think next time if you ever feel you need to share your deepest, darkest thoughts that others can be affected on some level by how you express yourself. I have seen all you have accomplished, and I'm baffled as to why you would even conisder that. How would those people and your family feel if you gave up, I wonder. That's why I try to think about the people left in my life and try to get over myself b/c it is selfishness-to a degree.

Well, I now shared and am done. I am ecstatic that you talked to your mom and that she made you realize some very important things, hope you keep going.

jelysc613
07-22-2006, 10:21 PM
Way to go Mobee! :D I do wish you the best of luck in your new state of mind! You sound like a great person, so it's about time you start realizing you are one!

Suzy
07-23-2006, 02:00 AM
VERY,VERY well said sweetness!

katblack
07-23-2006, 06:52 PM
I'm sure this won't be received well because it's a negative but here goes; I call troll.
I have seen people join message boards in all these years I've been online, for the soul purpose of being overly dramatic. Creating an account, a huge sob story, get everyone to pay attention to them and support etc etc. I actually know a group of people who do this kind of thing for fun. It's disturbing.
I never replied to anymore of Mobees posts after several extremely dramatic ones where the stuff just didn't add up for me, so many diseases, issues, health problems, not being able to correctly identify her curves, overly dramatic threats of suicide etc etc etc.
There are many clues in her posts that tell me this person is just a forum troll.
This is also just my opinion.

HGD24
07-23-2006, 08:08 PM
Hey Kat,
I've been feeling the same way. It's the first time in the 2 years that I've been a part of this board that I've seen posts that have such a negative effect on other people. I too have seen the 'troll' effect on other boards and this is exactly the MO I've seen. The poster suddenly appears out of nowhere with all sorts of issues and the "poor me" posts and then they turn their stories around into a few different versions that they and no one else can keep track of. It's sad really and I hope that our scoliosis family can return to normal soon.

katblack
07-23-2006, 09:28 PM
Phew! *wipes brow*
I really thought I'd be the only to see it this way. I'm so glad someone else got the same vibes I did when reading her stuff.
It's very sad when people do become forum trolls.

Like I said, I know people who do it for fun. The most recent story I heard and actually followed links to, was to a weight watchers forum where the girl joined, said she was morbidly obese and all kinds of other things. She was going to start WW and try to lose weight. She got everyone on her side, sympathy, people cared about her well being. Then she started being cruel.
Posting things like well today I failed at my diet. I stopped at McDonald's and had 3 big macs, 2 large fries, a large choc shake, had them all super sized, then washed it all down with a diet coke so at least I sorta stuck to my diet.
People kept encouraging her and then she hit them after weeks of people people really wanting to help her out.
She called them all fat, lazy, out of control idiots who just need to put down the donuts and get off their fat lazy asses.
It was quite sad to see that these people had been duped so horribly.

I had hope that Mobee wasn't one of them. I still kind of hope she wasn't duping this great community, but I still have that sunken gut feeling this board of great people was duped.
This last message when compared to all the others, is just too "happy ending" and of course, no news on her surgery or her docs reaction to her letter and the fact that she broke her mothers confidence by telling that story about a family friend after swearing not to say anything.

Sad, pathetic, untrustworthy, are just a few of the kinder words I would use to describe how I feel about this.

dorigirl
07-24-2006, 06:40 AM
I think you are right on the money Katblack. I got wierd vibes from the very beginning, that is why I chose never to respond. But when the post about breaking the promise she made to her mother appeared...well, it was just over the top for me. Listen, I don't come here to judge anyone, and this is a great place to get things off your chest. But, in Mobees' case it was obvious she needed much more help than any of us could possibly provide, (if in fact it was all true).

And Mobee, I hope you take this in the right way. This site is to help one another with scoliosis issues, and I think everyone here would be happy to do so. But, if you really do have all the issues you say you do, please seek help, and do it quickly. A forum was in no way intended to be a subtitute for psychological treatment.

CHRIS WBS
07-24-2006, 10:10 AM
Calling Dr. Phil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jelysc613
07-24-2006, 10:20 AM
So I know people can be cruel, but the "troll" stories you're all telling... that makes me sick that someone could be that way. Regardless of whether Mobee is a troll or not... I'm thoroughly disgusted. If Mobee is a troll... what I kept saying still holds true: "See a therapist." If someone can be sick enough to pretend to have endured such terrible things, they need serious mental help. Unfortunately, I think I have to agree with this new idea of Mobee because although I am a very compassionate person, I was feeling sort of cold toward this person and their dramatic rants. That's pretty rare for me and probably means something. I feel differently toward this faceless person than I do all the rest of you, who I already feel close to :)

Either way... get some help Mobee. And if you are a troll, I have some choice words for you running through my head.

MGM Grand
07-24-2006, 12:10 PM
While I agree that we should all be able to lean on each other and let out the frustration out on this site, I look more to this site as a means for encouragement in this fight. I feel down quite a bit, but I intend to keep fighting and not let this wacky disease and all of the craziness that comes with it define who I am or how I am going to feel about my life, or how I will live my life. Most of us have been dealing with this since childhood. One of the best things that this disease has done for me is give me a really strong character. I look at other people around me and I feel good about what I have become on the inside from this disease. So for anyone to post that they are going to kill themselves because they have a hump on the outside doesn't warrant a response in my opinion. And worse, to refer to yourself as a monster or grotesque, etc. when you have a minor curve makes those of us with larger curves and scars on top of that feel pretty mad at the reference!

sweetness514
07-24-2006, 02:17 PM
MGM Grand,

I agree. I don't know about the troll theory. I know that Mobee has been on this site many times, sometimes just to talk to others about her scoliosis, and sometimes to let her frustrations out about scoliosis and then she also talks about all the other bad things that happened to her in her life(medical issues, and abuse), and it is mostly always the same she describes. I think she suffers from some psychological issues and has said so(ADD, OCD). This would make her be dramatic and some people are just that way. My beef was mostly with the suicide thoughts being allowed to be discussed on such a level on this forum, sorry but that should be against the rules.

HGD24
07-24-2006, 03:11 PM
I'm sure I'll get flack for this, but I did a quick check of Mobee's posts and noticed many discrepencies in her curvature sizes. We all know our curves by heart so this has struck me as really strange and was one of the reasons I had to agree with Kat. Here's a list of the dates of the posts and the curvature(s) given:

4/20 37T, 33L

4/24 40, 38

4/27 mentions only having 1 curve which at one time was measured at 23 then a few years later at 30 degrees

5/15 34T, 30L

5/20 34T, 30L

7/18 35, 35

7/19 mentions only having 1 curve 34

7/19 34T, 32L

7/20 34T. 34L

Sorry, but I had to look further into this and this is my last post on this topic.

Singer
07-24-2006, 03:19 PM
Good work, Heidi! I love it.

I got suspicious when I read the quickie happy ending too. I guess none of us enjoys admitting we were taken in. You know what's really funny -- she's not even posting lately and here we all are STILL giving her the attention she craves. I vote that we forget all about her and move on.

macky
07-25-2006, 03:54 AM
I have never heard of an internet troll before., and I was hesitant to even reply as this Mocity has had quite enough attention, I just read all her posts and I could not believe it. She lives by herself, well she really needs to go and see a counsellor, as not a lot of what she has written makes sense and it has been to get attention and to dramatise and I really feel to make what we have all been through seem so damn trivial.
I really love this site and I am so very, very upset that someone would use it to their advantage like she has . No more to say except.
Those of us who have scoliosis are SURVIVORS MOBEE AND DONT EVER FORGET THAT.


Macky is leaving the building and the subject. xx

MGM Grand
07-25-2006, 11:25 AM
I have never heard of an internet troll before., and I was hesitant to even reply as this Mocity has had quite enough attention, I just read all her posts and I could not believe it. She lives by herself, well she really needs to go and see a counsellor, as not a lot of what she has written makes sense and it has been to get attention and to dramatise and I really feel to make what we have all been through seem so damn trivial.
I really love this site and I am so very, very upset that someone would use it to their advantage like she has . No more to say except.
Those of us who have scoliosis are SURVIVORS MOCITY AND DONT EVER FORGET THAT.


Macky is leaving the building and the subject. xx


Just to clarify, MOBEE is the troll, not MOCITY.

bbest
07-25-2006, 01:19 PM
I have been following this thread and debating whether or not to add anything further to this discussion. I certainly do not want to give any attention to the alleged troll. After some thought I decided I had some things I needed to say so here goes...

I don't know if Mobee is a troll. Truthfully, none of us do. I do agree however, that it looks very suspicious and I am inclined to doubt her sincerity. Having said that, I am damn angry. Having recently had surgery, I felt an obligation to help another who is struggling with this disease. I have a tendency to believe that most people are good and I wanted to support this person in any way I was able. When she went on and on about suicidal thoughts and enduring sexual molestation my heart went out to her. Yes, I thought she focused far too much on the negatives, but I chalked that up to some form of psychological illness brought on by her extensive medical issues. I, like many of you on this board, know what it is like to live with the emotional and physical pain scoliosis can cause. We know what it is like to agonize over our decisions. We know the difficulties involved in finding a capable and trustworthy surgeon. Many of us have made the decision to have surgery without the support of our friends and family and have turned to this board for that support. We, as a community, are here to help fellow scoliosis survivors do just that - survive. When someone comes to these boards with a selfish agenda I am personally offended. How dare Mobee or others like her play on our emotions and take up our time. How dare these people misrepresent themselves in order to gain some sort of sick attention. This board means a great deal to me. I don't know if I would be recovering as well as I am, if not for the support I have received from those of you I have come to regard as friends.

Mobee, if you read this (and I think you probably will) you have my apologies if I have misjudged you. However, if my instincts are correct and you are not who you say you are, shame on you! Find something constructive to do with your time. Grow up.

mocity
07-25-2006, 01:26 PM
Thanks for correcting MACKY for me. I was not the one writing all that mess.

sweetness514
07-25-2006, 02:16 PM
Makes me think with her talking about genitals that she could be. But there wouldn't be a problem and wasted energies and some people getting upset if there were rules and trolls and such language would not be allowed and ultimately deleted.

jelysc613
07-25-2006, 02:29 PM
AMEN bbest!! :D You spoke my mind entirely!

green m&m
07-25-2006, 10:50 PM
HGD24

so I guess I'm not the only one that noticed the degree discrepencies.

dawney
07-25-2006, 11:05 PM
I have never responded to any of Mobee's threads because frankly I didn't know how to. I do take personal offense to her referring to her deformity in the way she does. I think all of us are self conscious about our uneven everythings. I have never felt like a monster or anything like that. That did offend me.

berta@aloha.net
07-25-2006, 11:13 PM
And............where are you Mobee...............we aren't hearing from you..... defending your sincerity................so what does that make us all think.......hmmmm.

Shari
07-26-2006, 01:54 AM
I too have never heard of this "trolling" thing. This is the only forum I have ever been on. And I have ALWAYS found it to be quite comforting!!!

If this is truly the case, then I am also feeling offended and violated. I offered personal information out of compassion and concern. I guess I'm more naive than I thought I was!!!

But it does make me appreciate so much more, all the honest people that are here to share and care about each other!!!

Shari

SpineWhine
07-26-2006, 08:00 AM
http://hometown.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm

Singer
07-26-2006, 08:21 AM
Thanks for the link, Meg.

FASCINATING!!!