Cryin' tears of happiness:)

[always smilin']

I found this site a few weeks ago and had a terrible time being able to log in. I have never personally met another person who has gone through what I have been through. So excited the first time I read that others are out there. Wore a Milwaukee Brace for 4 years...had surgery in '82 ...harrington rod from T2-L4 ...s-curve 70 degrees. Have lived life to the FULLEST and tried to ignore that I was different. Have 3 beautiful children and gorgeous hubby. Now I am in EXCRUCIATING pain...my right arm and hand no longer have strength...writing is a bear...my shoulder and back are in pain when I sit or walk. I smile all day for others but found myself crying in the middle of the kitchen floor when I couldn't scrub a little piece of jelly off the floor - who cries over not being able to wash a floor (he he)? The doctor prescribed painkillers I can't take because they make me tired, physical therapy aggravated my symptoms, and the chiropractor finally said that she doesn't think she can help me as she thinks my discs have degenerated at the C6 area. I'm a mess (although the outside world does not know it). Is anyone else at this point? Any advice?

[Shari]

Hi Smilin',

You will find a lot of people here that can relate to what you're going through.

I remember my first post and I was afraid no one would respond to me. So I thought I would just say welcome to this wonderful place to be. It is very nice to know that other people are going through what you are.

It's amazing how we put on this front that nothing is wrong. I am in the restaurant business, and I have spent many years making people happy. My co-workers and the customers never even had the slightest idea of how I really felt inside. I can't even count the number of times I would come home after work, then break down and cry privately. So you are not alone!!!

Welcome again,
Shari

[always smilin']

Thanks

Thanks Shari-
It's amazing that there is a whole world of us out there...No one (not even my family) really knows what I feel on a day to day basis and I've really kind of stopped telling them...I'm one that likes to be around positive people and want others to be surrounded by my positiveness..but it's nice to be able to let my hair down and find out what others are going through too.

[Lavinia]

Sorry you are in such a hard place. I can sympathise because I've been in pain since my fusion in 04 (successful in some ways but set up some complications probably because of my age, 56). So I now feel an expert on pain management! have gone from trying to manage with none and tough it out to working out the best pain regime for me. At one point I could manage with paracetomol (tylenol) and an anti-inflammatory (NSAID), which does not make you sleepy. I can't tolerate most NSAIDs, but there is one with a not terrific safety record that I can, provided I monitor my blood pressure. When they were not enough I had to bite the bullet and add an opiate (codeine plus paracetomol, since my last surgery tramadol instead). They make you sleepy at first (and maybe constipated) but it wears off after a few weeks (not the constipation, which needs constant attending to).

Of course the first thing must be to get a proper medical diagnosis. It sounds like nerve pain - I am currently on one of the drugs for this, took another 6 months ago. They certainly do knock you out in the short term but the side effects reduce over a few weeks, so may be worth persevering. It might also be worth trying acupuncture and/or a tens machine. If at the end of all investigations you are left with unresolvable pain, it is worth asking your doctor to refer you to a pain clinic. Usually a long wait, here at least, but then you see an expert in pain. The most helpful thing I have found is joining a chronic pain support group (mine is online. It really is possible to have a rewarding and even happy life living with chronic pain. The main thing is, you have to work out the best way of pacing yourself so that you don't make things worse, and then work out ways of doing what is most important to you. Before my recent op I had to lie down 1 hour out of every 4, which involved completely reorganising my work/life but made a huge difference and enabled me to go on working.

Do contact me by email if you want, continuous pain is lonely, horrible and panic-making.

[bbest]

Smilin'

Welcome, you are truly among people who care and can relate to what you are going through. I know what you mean, about not wanting to show the outside world what you're really experiencing. I used to feel the same way. I felt like I would be such a drag to others if I complained about the pain. I would deprive myself of much needed help because I didn't want others to look at me as being disabled in any way. I am relatively young (32) and to be in the kind of pain I experience made me feel like an old lady (for lack of a better term). Thanks to my husband and some very dear friends, I learned to "get over it". I learned to take care of myself. If we don't deal with our problems, pain, disabilities, etc. how can we effectively serve our families? There is no shame in admitting you are imperfect. We all are, even those fortunate enough to be blessed with good health. You seem to have a wonderful family. I'm willing to bet they would do anything they could to help you. You said you try to maintain a positive attitude. Getting the help you apparently need is a positive step in the right direction. That's my 2 cents worth. Hope you'll stick around. This board has helped me immensely.

All the Best,
Brandi

[sweetness514]

To Bbest

I just wanted to say great post I agree 100%.

You know I've noticed that once we do get over the fact that we're not superhuman without flaws, we see that a lot of people deal with health issues and some even mental or emotional. It's so much better to share, since it can help us and others not feel so alone and most of all-find new ideas and sometimes tips or doctors that can help us. That's why I idolize people like Michael J Fox and the late Christopher Reeve that really talked about their disabilitites and by doing so, are helping the medical world evolve, b/c they are/were famous.

We all have our strenghts and weaknesses, and it's life. There's good and there's bad.

[always smilin']

Update...smilin' with help

I have fessed up a bit more to my family about my daily life these last few weeks and of course their support is AMAZING! My parents are super helpful...(but also remind me that I'm lucky to be alive given the severity and quick onset of my curve so young I agreed and said that yep...better to be in pain, feisty ,and living. (And yes they also said they are going to help me get good help) My hubby has been OUTSTANDING...he says that he is going to find me help one way or another. (I must admit I felt bad telling him...he deserves more...but he was sooo good about everything). I saw my doctor today...have an MRI tomorrow...revisit my primary next week and he is already stating that he wants me to seek another opinion so he will hopefully have some ideas next week after he has time to review my file (He is an amazingly well read doctor).

Thank you all so much for your support and your welcoming to this forum...I already feel I've found another niche in life that's comfortable and helpful...
THANK YOU ALL!

[sweetness514]

To Always Smilin'

Good for you Please don't feel bad about your hubby, I sometimes feel guilty about not being at the top of my form(and it doesn't solve anything), but it's in these moments that a relationship is tested and gets stronger. My hubby also has had health issues and severe injuries that he has dealt with, and as hard as it is, we both try to support each other the best we can. I know I'm lucky. But I'm sure you would be there for any member of your family including your hubby if the tables were turned, from what I read about you

Good luck, and take it one step at a time