Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Surgery for mom with young kids

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Surgery for mom with young kids

    Hi, I'm new to this site. I am really hoping to hear from some women who had surgery when their children were pretty young. I just visited a specialist yesterday and surgery was recommended for me. I wore a Milwaukee brace for three years in middle school and high school and never had any pain after that...until my second baby was born a year ago. I started getting very sharp pain in my lower back, sometimes even radiating to the front. I finally got to an adult scoliosis specialist and he measured my thoracic curve at 56 degrees and my lumbar curve at 60 degrees. He recommended surgury because my curve has gotten progressively worse over the years and I am experiencing pain. He left the decision of when I have surgery up to me.
    I am 30-years-old and I have two children...a 3-year old and a 11-month old. If I had surgery this year, my baby would be 14-months old. I am hoping to hear from people that had to deal with recovering from surgery and be a mom at the same time. I still want to be able to play with my kids, and change my little one's diapers, and do things with them and not be laid up for months and months. I would also like to have another baby in the future (something that my doctor said would be fine after surgery). So I don't want to wait forever to have the surgery because I would be putting off having another baby. At this point, I don't even have any anxiety about the pain that I will deal with. I just worry about the impact on my kids. Any responses would be really appreciated. I have read several of the posts for adults on this site and I have been really impressed with the information that has been passed along.
    Thanks,
    Tara
    Last edited by trice54; 02-28-2006, 10:27 AM.
    Tara
    31 yrs old
    Thoracic=56 degrees
    Lumbar=60 degrees

  • #2
    Hi Tara,

    I just thought I would say Hello and Welcome. I have had the surgery, but I have not been blessed with children. I know when I first posted here how nervous I was about everything going on, and seeming to be happening so fast.

    You will definitely find a lot of support here!!! I have found this to be a very rewarding place to be. And you will find that many people will offer their experiences to you.

    Shari

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Tara! Welcome to the forum. There are great folks here who will happily share their experiences and wisdom.

      I am 53 and just had my surgery. My granddaughter is 6 months old and it is very difficult for me to babysit with her by myself. I'm learning some tricks to make things a little easier, but i sure can't perch her on my hip and work around the house the way i used to when mine were little. I have trouble getting up out of the rocker with her asleep in my arms, or bending over her bed to lay her down softly without waking her. I've learned to change her diaper on my lap... (you gotta be quick...lol) and have bought a small, umbrella-type stroller that i keep close to my chair to put her in and take her to the restroom with me or wherever i need to go in the house. I wouldn't dare to try to lean in and fasten her into a car seat yet though... and usually i have to take a pain pill to rest at night after she's gone home. I'm sure that since you are younger, your recovery will be quicker than mine has been. It has been 4 months since my surgery and i still have some problems once in a while. But being around that sweet baby makes me forget my pains ... at least for a little while

      If your doc feels that you should have the surgery now and you have researched and feel confident in your doc, then don't put it off. There are always ways to do things that need to be done, you just have to be creative sometimes. And by the time your children are getting involved in sports and beginning school, you will be able to keep up with them in lots less pain than you are in now...

      There are pros and cons .. so take your time and think it through carefully. Take into consideration the amount of help you will have from other adults, too. Good luck to you in whatever you decide!!
      JoAnn

      Comment


      • #4
        I had surgery this past October so I am still recovering. My daughters are 5 and 3. I'm a little older than you (39) & have no plans to have any other children so I can't help on that topic. It was tough at first but probably within 6 weeks I was able to do more. We had my parents and mother-in-law stay with us for the first six weeks. That was a big help to my husband. Once I was able to drive again, I was able to at least pick up the girls from day care. They knew that I couldn't pick them up until the doctor said that it was ok. They did crawl in bed next to me and snuggle sometimes; then, when I was up to it, they would crawl on my lap when I was sitting in a hard chair. At first the youngest didn't want to get near me but she came around.

        I felt like I wanted to get it over and done with so I could enjoy my kids so I did it now rather than putting it off or a few years. By 3 months post-op, you won't feel back to normal but you will feel like doing more with your kids. It's hard not to get down on the floor with them & play but you find other ways to make it work.

        Good luck on your decision. Let me know if you have any specific questions.

        Angie
        Last edited by CajunGirl; 02-28-2006, 04:44 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Can your children handle an unavailable Mom?

          Dear Trice,

          I had severe painful scoliosis while raising my three children. (65T and 75L) The doctors told me there was nothing that could be done, so I got by with chiropractors and physical therapy to handle the pain. The last couple of years it has disabled me from working so I looked into having surgery. So now I can have it but my kids (15 and 20) have health problems so that they need me to care for them and I can't take off the time to recover from surgery. My surgeon told me that after surgery I would not be able to take care of anyone; they would need to take care of me for several months!

          I would encourage you to really research the restrictions required to follow by your surgeon after surgery and consider how they will affect your children. I understand that even at one year post-op surgery you can only lift 10% of your body weight which would be what? 15 pounds for 150 lb. person. THat would mean you wouldn't be able to lift your younger child even a year later. Also, how would you be able to toilet train her if you can't bend, twist, or lift? If I were in your shoes, I would at least wait until after the youngest was toilet trained. There are things that they can do to help you with the pain; medications, physical therapy, pain shots; they can also give you a brace to wear (at least for support) until you get the surgery.

          If you are looking to have the surgery to get rid of the pain, consider that your pain will be worse for several months after surgery and probably not be gone for a year to a year and a half post-op (barring complications).

          You will need to have an adult in your home full time to take care of you and the children and the home for probably the first three months. Good luck to you; it definitely is a difficult decision with a lot of things to consider.

          Deb

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Cakedec
            I would encourage you to really research the restrictions required to follow by your surgeon after surgery and consider how they will affect your children. I understand that even at one year post-op surgery you can only lift 10% of your body weight which would be what? 15 pounds for 150 lb. person. THat would mean you wouldn't be able to lift your younger child even a year later.
            I would also consult with your surgeon. I am now at 4 months post-op. At my 3 month post-op visit I was given the ok to lift up to 30 lbs. I only weight 105 lbs. so I don't agree with the 10% of your body weight rule. At 6 weeks post-op I was given the ok to lift up to 15 lbs. As I said before, check with your physician though.

            Angie

            Comment


            • #7
              Surgery and having children

              Hi Tara,

              I am new to this site too having only just registered today. I noticed your email regarding having surgery and coping with small children. I have not had surgery after having children but did have surgery prior to having children ( I was 17 at the time of surgery ) and had relatively trouble free pregnancy's (3) I attribute a lot of this to the fact I had my children while I was still quite young having had all 3 by 25. I did find after the surgery I was quite run down and seemed to contract every flu and virus for some time afterwards, though this may not happen to everyone. I have found later on in life ( I am now 38 ) that I have a lot of problem with pain hence the reason for joining this web site to see how others cope with this.
              My experience with surgery is that I have most of my spine fused with a long Harrington Rod inserted from between my shoulders going down leaving only about 3 vertebrae with movement at the base of my spine. I was unable to move for ten days and lost a lot of blood requiring a transfusion a few days later. I remember feeling the sickest I had ever felt in my life. I then wore a full body cast for 3 mths This would be a difficult time if you had small children It may help to wait until your youngest was a little older. The wear that has occured later due to the 3 remaining vertabrae taking all the movement of my bending over the last 21 years has caused considerable pain in recent times and looks like requiring further surgery to reduce this pain and nerve pinching, due to this reason I would consult all available opinions so that you were making an informed descision, one that is correct for you as in my case it is not the end of the problem.All the very best feel free to email me with any questions you may have.

              Regards Jen

              .

              Comment


              • #8
                Decisions

                Hi,
                After reading through a lot of post surgery descriptions and taking my doctor's recommendations and information into consideration, I have decided to wait until I am at least 35 to have surgery. I am almost 31 now and this way, I can try for one more baby before surgery and that one will be at least 2 before I had surgery. My doctor (Dr. Tribus in Madison, WI) told me that there really wasn't any rush and my pain is tolerable. Right now, my main focus in life is my kids and I know that I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't able to take care of them. At least if they are a little older, they will understand why mommy can't pick them up. My 11-month old wouldn't understand that now. So thank you everyone for your advise and information. I will continue to read up on this website so that I am prepared when the time comes for surgery.
                Thanks again,
                Tara
                Tara
                31 yrs old
                Thoracic=56 degrees
                Lumbar=60 degrees

                Comment


                • #9
                  hi Tara,
                  I think your decision is a good one if you can hold out...my kids are 7&10, old enough to get their drinks, snack etc. & help out around the house. you might not want to wait until they are my kids ages but the older the better. Only thing is the older(10) has been worried about me but seems better lately since my husband assured him all will be fine ...& his needs will be met..(kids don't want their routine changed....) good luck...Lynne http://lynnebackattack.blogspot.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Pain

                    Thanks Lynn,
                    "If I can hold out" is a good observation. I usually have pretty good days with a little pain here and there but wow, some days are almost unbearable. Like today for example! I feel like my lungs are being squashed down into my stomach, my ribs feel like they are collapsing, and no matter how I sit I can't get comfortable. Thank God every day isn't like this because if they were, I would be having the surgery tomorrow!!

                    Tara
                    Tara
                    31 yrs old
                    Thoracic=56 degrees
                    Lumbar=60 degrees

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      achey, me too

                      tara,
                      happened to read your post & man, my back is achey today too..since yesterday...I was down on all fours with a rag cleaning the dining room floor yesterday & ouch..what did I do?! Only did it since company 's coming....I also slept in a weird postion & same as you my lungs felt cramped. Days like this I am so good to go on the surgery..... Keep in touch....Lynne http://lynnebackattack.blogspot.com

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X