Daughter having surgery in January

[Marieokc]

Hi everyone:

I have been reading this forum for about a year and a half, but have never posted anything on here. I have found the information everyone has put on here to be extremely helpful to me and my family and I just wanted to say thank you. You have helped more than you know because I have just been reading, and not writing back.

Our older daughter, Carrie, has 48T/38L curves and will have surgery in January here in OKC with Dr. Herndon. She is a junior in high school and will be 17 in Jan. She said she is very ready to get this taken care of to get it off her mind once and for all. She has never waivered from wanting this surgery.

Carrie grew about 4 inches during her freshman year, and I noticed her shoulder blade sticking out. We took her to the specialist that summer and the top curve was 44 degrees at that time. The curves didn't change for 6 months, then we saw a 4 degree change in the next six months. Recently, Carrie has been having pain and has trouble sitting in a chair at school for any length of time. So that was a deal breaker for us.

Carrie is very active in the high school marching band; she plays clarinet. Her dr. has said she should be ready for summer marching practice next August, which is why we are planning this surgery during the school year instead of the summer. She can't wait to feel better and look better and get back to her normal activities. Has anyone else had a child in marching band?

Please keep good thoughts for our Carrie during the next few months. I know they will be increasingly stressful for all of us. We are trying to stay busy and just reading and learning what we can. We have met several other patients who have gone through this and they are amazing. It is wonderful to see such great outcomes and to see how healthy those kids are now.

Again, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has written their stories and given advice on here. You all (or "yall" as we say in Oklahoma) have let us see that there's a wonderful, pain-free life out there for Carrie to live and we are looking forward to it.

Marie

[flowerpower]

Good luck to you and your daughter Carrie with upcoming surgery. I will pray she has an uncomplicated surgery and uneventful recovery.

Renee

[elsa]

Lots of Positive Thoughts

You have done very similar to I. I live in the UK and the vast majority of mums on this site are from the US. I read and re-read this site for about a year before I decided to actually contribute a thread! It is a very frightening time for you and all your family - especially your daughter.
You must keep very focused and positive to help you through the next couple of difficult weeks. Take heart - you will soon be on the other side of the hill and be worrying about recovery!
My daughter Hannah had her surgery 3 weeks ago and is doing amazingly well. she is however, extremely bored and wanting to do things! You would not believe the difference from 3 weeks ago to today..
Hang in there and it will soon all be over and your daughter will have a beautiful straight back and will be able to put scoliosis behind her!!
Take care
Elsa

[Mary Lou]

Hi Marie,


If you do a search, simply type in "Marching Band", you'll see a few posts where marching band was discussed. "Bill's Mom" shared her son's experience with marching band after surgery.

Mary Lou

[Sheena]

scoliosis

good luck to you and your daughter. i am positive it will be all ok. keep smiling

[Marieokc]

thank you

Thanks to everyone who wrote back and those who are keeping the good thoughts and prayers going for Carrie and my family. We are just trying to hold it together and do what we have to do to get through this trying time.

I appreciate everyone who has been writing and giving advice and information. You have really helped me and I have shared those thoughts with my family.

Good luck to all to who are going through this and we can't wait to be on the other side with all of you.

Marie

[Marieokc]

Keep us in your thoughts on Monday, Jan. 23

Hello everyone:
Just wanted to ask if everyone here would keep us in your thoughts next Monday as my daughter Carrie has her scoliosis surgery. She is so ready for this and has never waivered from wanting to get this surgery over with and get this behind her. She is so strong, I don't know how she does it. I find myself breaking down all the time, but not around her. She told all of us that we can't cry until she does, and she hasn't yet!

We have been keeping ourselves busy with donating blood, packing and making arrangements for our other daughter while we will be at the hospital. That seems to help a little bit, but I still feel like I could jump off a ledge.

I don't know how we will get through this; it is tearing me up. I am strong in front of everyone, but I am a stay at home mom, so I do a lot of crying alone. My family and friends will be with us at the hospital and I know that will be wonderful support. Maybe we will all hold each other up and the time will go by faster together.

I just wanted everyone to know that I have gotten so much information and kind words from this forum. I think it has saved my life lately. I know everyone says this is the hardest place to be right now, and I sure hope so. We thought that when our house was hit by a tornado 2 1/2 yrs. ago that was the hardest thing we would ever have to go through--not by a long shot. I can't imagine what Monday will be like. How do you get through it?

Thanks for everything. I will try to post and let everyone know as soon as I can. Keep us in your thoughts--we will appreciate it.
Marie

[Carmell]

Marie,

We'll be thinking of you and Carrie and your family on Monday. Yes, this anticipation and waiting before surgery is harder than the actual surgery (I believe). The fear of not knowing what to expect - the fear of the unknown - makes our emotions high and our imaginations run away with us. The best thing you can do is plan appropriately (i.e., talk to the hospital, pain services people, family, friends, etc.) before surgery day. It helps to have a plan.

Every parent waiting for a child through surgery is different. For me, I can't concentrate on anything, so bringing handwork, reading or crossword puzzles is useless. I prefer to be alone while I wait. Even having my hubby with me makes me feel like I have to put on a happy face and "entertain" him while we wait (its not that drastic, but when you are going through it, it can seem that way). Some people need lots of family and friends to support them. Make sure its okay with the hospital that you have more than 2 adults with you during surgery time. Some hospitals have a rule about this for various reasons (our hospital doesn't allow more than 2 adults because of space constraints).

We'll be looking forward to an update when you can, after surgery. Lots of well-wishes and cyber vibes for a smooth and successful procedure! And a speedy and uncomplicated recovery.

[dancermom]

Hang in there Marie. It is almost here and you and Carrie will be on the road to recovery. The anticipation of waiting and just the unknown really does a number on your nerves. You can deal with the pain and the different things afterwards because you have some control of them.

You are in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be through these next few weeks.

Love,
Connie

PS - The hospital where you will be at with Carrie does not have a limit to how many people can be in the surgery waiting area. Just scope out a corner and know the volunteer ladies will come and get you every time the nurse calls to give you an update.

[Laura P]

Marie ,
Ditto on everything everyone has said. This is a horrible stressful time on the pre surgery week. Our daughter Jamie is 5 weeks post op and you will be there before you know it. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Just hang in there and know our thoughts and prayers are with you.
We got our homebound teacher started this week and it is taking alot of pressure off of Jamie to hurry back so if you can get this going after the hospital I would highly recommend it.
Be safe and hang in there.
I agree with you on this forum. It truly helped me. Yes, it is normal to cry. I was the same way. Sometimes I didn't know why I was crying it just came so it is ok. My husband tells everyone that he thought something was terribly wrong when we were waiting in the surgery waiting room and he had gone to get breakfast. When he came back I was crying and he asked "what was wrong?" It scared him to death and they had just called and said they had started surgery. I just knew what they were doing since I am a nurse and it tore me up. So it is ok to cry.

My daughter never cries. She is a Junior also and the night before surgery it hit her and she cried alot.
Love & Prayers,
Laura P.
Jamie's mom Posterior Fusion T2 to L1 12/16/05

[billyjoe]

Hi Marie,
I must be an early worrier! My daughter is having surgery on June 1st. Sometimes I think about how will we get through that pre op week????
Thank you for talking about it. Every time my daughter and I read about what other people are doing it helps us prepare.
We will absolutely be watching as you post your experience and we will be praying for your safe and sucessful surgery!!!! As you have probably experienced it helps so much to see others go through this and because they have we too will be able to handle this. As Laura mentioned it is o.k. to cry. I had seen in some old posts some very good suggestions in terms of eating right and getting rest leading up to surgery not only for the patient but for the caregiver. The post mentioned eating easily digestible foods atleast five days prior to surgery (to help the patient with bowels post op). I know this sounds hard but if you can do some things to prepare for your needs, like setting up some time where you can talk to someone who comforts you while you are at the hospital. Possibly getting something done for yourself, a massage or buying a book on tape to listen to at the hospital. I hope I can take some of these suggestions when it is my turn!!!!
We will all be thinking of you and your family and holding your daughter in prayer on Monday morning. The very best to you and your family.
Best,
Patricia

[AnnLF]

Marie....we are 7 weeks post op here with my 17-year-old daughter and I feel for you...you are in the worst place right now. But the good news is that the relief you will feel in a few short days is overwhelming, so try to focus on that. It all will be over with soon!

The tips I got from this site were incredibly helpful and I so want to "give back" to folks who now are facing what we went through not that long ago. So, here's my tip that I haven't seen posted above. My husband and I called our internist who gave us a prescription for Xanax to get us through the surgery day. I actually started taking it a couple of days before the surgery and I can't tell you how much it helped to take the edge off. I'm not much of a pill-taker, so it took a lot for me to call our doctor. But we're all human and at times like these, it's nice to know there's pharmecuetical (sp?) help. I hope you read this today (Saturday) before the doc's office's close.

We will be thinking and praying for you on Monday. If you have internet access at the hospital, try to let us all know how things go. Ann

[flowerpower]

This is my 4th time trying to reply, stupid computer!

Marie, I wish your family well, and pray your daughters surgery is successful and uncomplicated. May the next few days pass quickly, and soon you will feel the relief of being "on the other side" as we all have. I would like to add more but have to be brief - trying to beat the computer!

Good luck,

Renee

[susannajon]

Hi Marie,

Thinking of Carrie and your whole family this weekend. The days leading up to surgery are the worst. I know it's hard but do your best to take care of yourselves the next few days. It's important that every one of you take your vitamins, eat healthy food, and try to get enough sleep. You will need the energy and stamina next week. While in the hospital, don't forget to take care of yourselves as well as Carrie. Take breaks, relieve one another, and go outside for air or a meal, a hot shower or a nap.

Hugs to you!

[The Slice]

Hey Marie, hang in there. Remember that it's okay for you AND Carrie to cry, and anyone else who wants to. Remind Carrie of that. Remember that she may be even more moody than usual even for a teenager. Part of it hormones, part of it hormones affected by stress, and part of it from the physical drain on the body. She may get irritated/frustrated at some of the limitations in the beginning, and on being dependent on others for a little while. You may need to/want to remind her of that too. I am a middle aged man who is dealing with depression and anxiety and am on medication for it. Taking the medication is a double edged sword. It's great to be alot calmer and not always crying at the drop of a hat, but at the same time, when on the medication, I can't cry. I have found the crying to be a great stress reliever at times. I don't care whether you are a guy or a gal, sometimes you just need to cry, and it doesn't necessarily have to be at the most extreme times like dealing with the loss of a family member or friend. Give her permission to have these bigger mood swings if they happen. If she think that she is expected to act a certain way, or keep a stiff upper lip, that could actually add to the stress. She will rebound from this, and probably quicker that you or I would from this type of major surgery. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You say you don't know how she stays so strong? She's a TEENAGER!!!! Remember to keep her sister in the loop as to what is happening, as it will cut down alot on the stress for her. Sometimes the most stressfull thing is the not knowing.