View Full Version : Another stupid question

10-19-2005, 07:34 PM
Hello, again. Once again, with about 3 weeks to go, I am wondering how all of you felt when you were still in the hospital. Did you want your family around after the first few days? Or did you just want to walk...sleep...walk...sleep...? :confused: Do any of you live in the Boston area? We are trying to find places for my husband to stay that won't cost an arm and a leg, and still give him the opportunity to be close by. I will be at the Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital for about 10 days, then moved to Spaulding Rehab Hospital for the duration. Any suggestions? Linda

10-19-2005, 07:38 PM
I Was Kind Of Out Of It For About A Week With All The Medicine They Had Me On, I Don't Think That I Really Cared Whether Anyone Was There Or Not, But I Liked The Company Once I Was Up And Walking, I Hated Staying By Myself, It Gets Depressing

10-19-2005, 07:50 PM
Well, I have to agree with Nurse Melissa... For like the first four days, I was completely out of it, and didn't really care if there was anyone there, but when I did start to wake up and move around and stuff, I loved the company. I'd sit there, and stare at the clock till my family/friends came in. I mean, I saw the nurses and stuff, but when I'd get company, it was much better... a lot more fun. I'd get depressed all by myself all the time... Too much time to sit and focus on the pain, and other bad stuff...

10-19-2005, 08:13 PM
Hi Linda...

I definitely didn't want anyone around for at least the first week.

You might want to check with the hospital. Many hospitals will let a family member sleep in the room. If that's not a possibility, you should also check with your surgeon's office. They probably have a list of close by hotels, some of which give big discounts to family members of hospital patients.


10-20-2005, 07:43 AM
I wanted visits from only those people I was completely relaxed with - partner and children and close friend - for the whole month I was in hospital and for a while afterwards. A lot of times they would just sit and hold my hand. My dread was visits from people I would have to entertain or look after in some way, esp. some relatives. This wasn't a great surprise to me - I know what I'm like when feeling ill and weak, and this was it but much more so!

10-20-2005, 10:30 AM
For the first couple of days, I was really out of it, but still wanted my husband and parents with me all of the time. After 2 days, I started worrying about them and the toll all of the time they spent sitting and staring at me was taking on them and kept telling them to watch tv or go home and relax. I think trying to take care of them took my mind off of what was going on with me.

On about day 5, I was making phone calls to everyone and I started wanting more visitors, but I think my husband may have made the decision to have people wait until I got home to visit me. I think I looked and felt a lot worse than I thought I did. ;) We did have a couple of friends stop by, but only for a few minutes as it was late and I was getting tired and sore. Once home, I wanted all the visitors we could handle!

I agree with Linda in that you should check with the hopital to see if they partner with any local hotels. They may also be able to point you in the direction of a room at a house (like at Ronald McDonald Houses) where he can stay for a longer period of time if need be.

Good luck!

10-20-2005, 10:38 AM
I hope you don't mind, but I just looked real quick on the website for your hospital. (I've research things like this all the time for my sister who's husband has cancer and has many treatments and operations in NYC). Under the "Directions and Maps" section, I found a large listing of hotels and houses. Usually if you mention that you are staying at the hospital, they will give you a discount. You may want to look for online prices before you call however as sometimes you can get a better deal through the internet (look at both the hotel's homepage and travel websites).

10-20-2005, 12:50 PM
I couldn't get enough visitors, I started being bored the third day. (That's when my mom said she knew I was OK) The chair they sat me up to eat in folded out into a bed for a visitor. The only night I ended up using it was for an aunt who wanted to drive from Seattle to Portland by herself in the middle of the night. Not on my watch!

Especially once you are up and walking, it's kind of fun to have friends/relatives walk with you. It gets repetitious going around the same hallways over and over.

You may want to warn your relatives that you'll be out of it at first - my brother came to see me late the second day. He is also my attorney (family discount) and I must have gotten my wires crossed; because I opened one eye, said "Thank God, my lawyer is here!" and went back to sleep. The nurse that had shown him in was a little shocked, and my mom had to explain that no, I wasn't suing the hospital. I don't remember any of it...

10-20-2005, 02:34 PM
I would suggest not getting vistors that you're not that close with the first 3/4 days.

I had my fiance(now husband) sleep there the whole week I was in, and my parents were in and out of the room a lot too. I really needed help getting my meds and care from the staff, as the nurses here in Montreal and a lot of Canada are booked and the system is not healthy(we have to take care of ourselves a lot).

10-20-2005, 03:26 PM
I have to say that I probably hurt many family members feelings when I told them I really didn't want any visitors the first week, but I just wasn't up to it. There's not much to do in the hospital (for them or you) and to me it seemed stressful knowing they may be bored visiting.

Karen Ocker
10-20-2005, 04:58 PM
I agree with everone about not wanting to entertain. My dear son brought my grandchildren; I really had to force myself to smile and be pleasant. When the kids saw me they looked scared at all the tubing both going in and coming out. They came dressed up in Polish folk costumes yet! At least I made a comment about how nice they looked and some of the scared looks came off their faces.


10-20-2005, 05:06 PM
Forgot to mention that my husband(then fiance) slept on one of those beds that you can fold, as the nurses were nice to give him one, and I had a private room. For me I wouldn't have been able to get half the meds I needed or care if he hadn't been there, I was not on the orthopeadic floor since it was too crowded that week and they put me on another floor where the staff was not as prepared for such a case as mine.

10-21-2005, 11:09 AM
I only wanted immediate family and my husband to visit me. I was so tired and often did not have the energy to carry out a conversation. Once I was finally moved to a regular room and had tubes removed and started to move around, I made more phone calls. I had two close friends visit me, but I was comfortable enough to let them see me. Even when I got home from rehab, I preferred close friends visiting me. Only one person from work visited me.

10-21-2005, 08:14 PM
Thank you all so much for your responses. I know I don't need to tell you how much this forum has helped me, since you all are either "there" or have been there. Linda :)