Week and a half before surgery

[Pkscott]

I am naturally plagued with anxiety. My surgery is only a week and a half away and I am scared to death.
My anxiety has gone into overdrive. I have nightmares about my surgery.
I can't even eat like I should. I'm so scared.
This is my third attempt at surgery. The first two times I had it scheduled I ended up being pregnant!
This time I have to do it!
What can I do to ease my nerves?

[sweetness514]

I'm scheduled to have revision surgery and it's eating at me again but I'm just TRYING to wrap my mind around it and when I get so much pain I just think "open me up and make feel better, get this broken rod out of me, on with the show!".

The first time I just tried to take everything before and after day by day, and was a bit in denial, plus I just took the leap and thought let's do this, without too much thought wich is the opposite of me but what choice did I have, just like now?

Another thing is I don't like losing control, and don't trust many people, but at this point I'm thinking everybody says that the medical field is prepared for much worse cases than us and this is what they do, so I'll put my body in their hands, and roll with the flow. Sometimes life is a current and you just have to follow it, not the other way around. It's not like we have much of a choice anyway.

Good luck

[SandyC]

PKScott,
call your surgeon. I bet he/she will be glad to prescribe something to 1. help you sleep 2. something to help with the "nerves".
Sandy

[kathleensrose]

Terror over surgery

Could you please tell us about your , home life, children, work, husband? Its easier to give suggestions if you have given a general view of your support system. How old are you, who will do your surgery, what is the general plan
he gave you for your surgery? We might be able to talk to you if we know
a little more. Kathleen

[Pkscott]

My background

I am 24 years old, I have two little girls ages 2 & 4, I am not married and I have never been married. I do have a siginficant other. He is going to be taking care of our 2 year old. My 4 year old will be staying with my sister during the week and her dad's on the weekends.
I have a 8-5 job. I work in a very fast-paced high stress environment. If anything I am glad to get out of my office for a long while.
My boyfriend worries me. We live together but he doesn't understand the limitations that my scoliosis puts on me now and I don't know if he can handle the limitations I wil have after surgery. He has never really helped me with our daughter (bathing, dressing, changing diapers).
I want to sit and talk about having a plan for my at home care/needs and he just wants to wait until I get home from the hospital to see how things go.
I do have 3 older sisters who will probably be there for me more than anyone.
I have an appointment with my surgeon Friday to discuss all the fine details of the post-op and recovery. I love my surgeon he is really supportive.

[Jacque's Mom]

PKscott - may I suggest you do not wait until you get home? If your sisters are going to help, they, your significant other and you get together today and talk about what each of them will be doing to help you. This is not something to take lightly! You are aware that you will be uncomfortable when you first get home for some time and YOU are the one that will be needing all the attention. You will not be able to do what you are doing now with your little one. Everyone needs to understand that. Fear about surgery is absolutely normal but I think the anxiety you are having is the fact that your support system is not in place. I was single and living with my parents when I had my surgery, and I cannot even imagine having to take care of anyone while recouperating. Please talk to them ASAP as your surgery date is around the corner. Good luck and please take care of yourself. LYNN

[ScolioGirl]

I'm having surgery in 9 days, not that I'm counting or anything

Anyway, what I do is basically anything to take my mind off it. I just want to forget about it for a while! I can give mself a break by getting absorbed in a book, running a couple miles (lately that hurts too much though so I just use an elliptical - whatever works!), watch a movie, go out with friends, listen to music...all kinds of stuff. Sometimes journalling helps get your feelings out, and sometimes I just have a little conversation with myself. Something about saying, "It's getting closer and I'm starting to feel uneasy," out loud can help.

Good luck, you'll be fine!!

[SandyC]

PKScott,
If your boyfriend is telling you that he want's to "wait & see", perhaps what he is really saying is he thinks it won't be that bad a situation or he doesn't understand how much you will be limited in your ablity to care for yourself, muchless a toddler. Will he go with you to the doc, so that he can get a professionl and very clear understanding? Once you have had the surgery and are home, if he is unable to deal with you being ill, he could leave you in a situation that could be dangerous to you and your child. He may care for you a great deal, but some guys can't deal with illness of any kind. After working all day will he really be able to deal with bath/meal time for a busy tot and her sick mom?

Good Luck

[crookedspine]

That is just what I was going to say. Try to get him to go with you to the doctor. He needs to hear from someone other than you about how "bad" it is going to be. I hope and pray that you and he will be able to work through this BEFORE surgery. You need to be at peace before you go in. It's hard enough as it is! Linda

[Pkscott]

My boyfriend is going to my preop appointments with me. We talked about it this morning. It was actually his idea to go with me. I told him that I was worried because he seemed to be downplaying how serious my condition will be. He apologized and said that he thought if he downplayed it that I wouldn't be so worried. He thinks that if he is calm and cool that I will be calm & cool. I told him we just need to go to my preop Friday and after we can plan everything out. He agreed. I feel better.
I made a huge mistake last night though. I watched a show about when anesthesia goes wrong. People were telling stories about waking up during surgery. I didn't sleep much after that. I will not watch anymore medical tv until after my surgery!!!
Thanks you guys for all the support- it helps me alot!

[JoAnn5]

This might be a very simple-minded visual, but it seems to help me to have a mental image most times.... I look at the surgery and recovery period as if it were a very rickety bridge over a deep chasm... I dont want to focus on what a bad ordeal i have ahead of me in crossing it, nor do i want to look down when i'm in the middle of it. I want to keep my eyes focused on the other side and how much better things will be when i'm over there and it's all behind me.
I know what you mean about having trouble relaxing and sleeping, though... i do that too... my surgery is day-after-tomorrow (Friday). It really has helped having my husband going to the pre-op appointments with me. He has heard first-hand what an ordeal this will be, and is now much more understanding about my jitters.
Bless you... and good luck with yours. Listen to these good folks here who have already experienced it. They are very wise and helpful!

[Ken]

PK & each of you waiting for surgery... I hope each of you find peace, for some reason we have been chosen for this - It isn't always easy and we would rather not have to deal with it - But you are NOT alone!! God Speed!! You are all in my prayers!! & Please keep me in yours as well!!!

[dmb]

Scoliosis Surgery

I am naturally plagued with anxiety. My surgery is only a week and a half away and I am scared to death.
My anxiety has gone into overdrive. I have nightmares about my surgery.
I can't even eat like I should. I'm so scared.
This is my third attempt at surgery. The first two times I had it scheduled I ended up being pregnant!
This time I have to do it!
What can I do to ease my nerves?

Pkscott,
I was a nervous wreck before my surgery as well. I'd cry and couldnt eat and everything else that went into surgery. However, try to think that in several months your quality of life is going to increase. IT's easier said than done, i know, i've been there. Try to stay positive. The only way that i was able to keep my sanity was that the scoliosis pain was debilitating my life and i had to keep telling myself that surgery was going to help me live! Take care and good luck!

DMB

[dmb]

My boyfriend is going to my preop appointments with me. We talked about it this morning. It was actually his idea to go with me. I told him that I was worried because he seemed to be downplaying how serious my condition will be. He apologized and said that he thought if he downplayed it that I wouldn't be so worried. He thinks that if he is calm and cool that I will be calm & cool. I told him we just need to go to my preop Friday and after we can plan everything out. He agreed. I feel better.
I made a huge mistake last night though. I watched a show about when anesthesia goes wrong. People were telling stories about waking up during surgery. I didn't sleep much after that. I will not watch anymore medical tv until after my surgery!!!
Thanks you guys for all the support- it helps me alot!

Pkscott,
i was worried about the anesthesia too becuase i have had previous health issues. You wont wake up, in fact, you'll be so groggy when you do come to that you wont know half of what has happened. It's all a good feeling and you'll be fine.

dmb

[Shllbug]

It's been over 10 years since I had my surgery, but I still remember it like it was yesterday...I don't particularly remember being afraid, but I was CONVINCED for some reason that the docors wouldn't be able to get me to sleep..OF course they all laughed at me, and THEY DID get me to sleep with a quicknesss, but when I woke up I threw up everywhere...Haha maybe they gave me too much sleep medicine..Anyway..It's nice to have this chat board with real people who have had similar circumstances to talk to..I know you are scared, but seriously its not that bad...If a 12 year old can get through it, I have no doubt in my mind that a strong minded and strong willed woman like yourself can Im sure the doctors will do this to you becuase its a requirement, but MAKE SURE THEY GIVE YOU A CLOT TEST!!!!! I found out 2 days before my surgery that I had a clotting problem...they had to put me on Iron pills and give me a blood transfusion during my surgery...I was only in the hospital for 8 days drugged up on morphine..You may feel a little stiff, but other than that the most uncomfortable thing is the itching you might have underneath all that dressing on your back..You'll be on bed rest for a while because the pain doesn't come until after your surgery..Like a couple weeks after..It a stiffness that sucks, but if you lay down when you need to youll be fine!..I know its easier said than done, but I can PROMISE you that everything will be OK..People have been performing this surgery for decades and for the people who have the surgery, it just keeps getting better! Just imagine..a long time ago, you would be in a full body cast for up to 2 months post surgery! now you are in and out with NO CAST in a WEEK!..Please let me know if you have any questions or comments..Its so nice to finally find a place that has so many people who have been through the same thing!..Ive wanted to get all this out for a long time GOOD LUCK!