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24 year old mother of two to have surgery and is terrified

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  • 24 year old mother of two to have surgery and is terrified

    I am 24 years old and am set to have surgery in October. I have 2 little girls- ages 2 & 4. I am extremely scared and anxious about my surgery. I've never had any type of surgery and I 've never been put to sleep. All of this terrifies me. I am also anxious about postop. How soon will I be able to care for my two children on my own?

  • #2
    Hey there... I'm a 26 year old mother of one, and I'm having surgery in 11 days, so I know how scared you must be... I'm terrified. I think you've come to the right place, because I've recieved a lot of reassurances and support from the people on here... It'll be ok... It's for the best, right? It's getting to the point that I can't pick up my 4 year old son anymore, and I find that I can't do fun stuff like bike riding with him anymore... I want to be more active in his life, and my scoliosis has been a deterrent... things can only get better now... look at your little girls, and think how much better you'll be for them after the surgery... Do you have help?





    www.bentoutofshape.blogspot.com
    27 Years Old
    Pre Surgery: 76 and 68 degrees
    Post Surgery: 15 degrees
    www.bentoutofshape.blogspot.com

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi...

      Lifting restrictions vary by doctor, and can also vary by patient. You almost certainly will be told not to lift your kids for at least 3 months, and maybe as long as a year. I'd like to encourage you to talk to your surgeons office to get realistic expectations about your post-op experience.

      Regards,
      Linda
      Never argue with an idiot. They always drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience. --Twain
      ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Surgery 2/10/93 A/P fusion T4-L3
      Surgery 1/20/11 A/P fusion L2-sacrum w/pelvic fixation

      Comment


      • #4
        my prayers go out to you. I had my posterior spinal fusion on the 25th of July. I also have a 2 year old daughter. I am still however unable to pick her up and will be for quite some time. As of right now, I can get her dressed for daycare and help her change her pull-ups. But my daughter still hurts me alot because she doesn't know any better. (be wary of your children holding on to you while getting them dressed or when they are throwing a temper trantrum and throw all of their weight on you when they throw themselves to the ground, you'll be laid up for a while after that) However, I'm just now re-learning how to drive my car. My heart goes out to you if you have a manual transmission vehicle. I'm just now starting to drive it again. The parking break, reverse, and downshifting will be the toughest things to do, that and remembering not to twist yourself around when checking for traffic. Well, if you have any questions or anything please don't hesitate to ask. I'll try to answer your questions as best as possible.

        ~Shelley
        25 yr old female =^_^=
        Thoracic curve 48 degrees (with kyphosis)
        Lumbar curve 23 degrees
        surgery from t5-l1 25 July 2005
        Two rods and 16 screws later . . . 0 degrees YAY!

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Shelley, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions please?... Is your daughter able to sit on you lap when you're sitting at the table or on the couch? Speaking of the couch, are you able to lay and watch TV? Sometimes when I'm on the couch, Jacob (my son) comes up, gets on my lap, then leans his head against me...is that a possibility after? How about putting your clothes on? Is it hard raising your arms over your head to slide 'em on? Do you find that there are some clothes that are harder to wear than others?... I'm going to stop now... I apologize for the very many questions.. you just got me thinking... Oh, how about 'big hugs'? Can I do that with Jacob?
          27 Years Old
          Pre Surgery: 76 and 68 degrees
          Post Surgery: 15 degrees
          www.bentoutofshape.blogspot.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by monie
            Hey Shelley, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions please?... Is your daughter able to sit on you lap when you're sitting at the table or on the couch? Speaking of the couch, are you able to lay and watch TV? Sometimes when I'm on the couch, Jacob (my son) comes up, gets on my lap, then leans his head against me...is that a possibility after? How about putting your clothes on? Is it hard raising your arms over your head to slide 'em on? Do you find that there are some clothes that are harder to wear than others?... I'm going to stop now... I apologize for the very many questions.. you just got me thinking... Oh, how about 'big hugs'? Can I do that with Jacob?
            She's just now able to sit on my lap. However, she's not able to do it for a long amount of time, as far as Kira leaning her head against me, I'm just now able to tolerate it a little. still hurts. (looking down at her hurts my back. Crazy how everything is connected) Oh, I love the couch! it's been one of my favorite places since I got out of the hospital. Laying on the couch isn't a problem, after my surgery I'm still only able to lay on my left side comfortably. (getting up is difficult at first, but after you get used to it it's fairly easy, but there are still times where I get stuck and can't get myself up, that's where my hubby comes into action) Yes, there are still some clothes that I can't get into because of the raising my arms up, that will become difficult. A few baggy t-shirts/sweaters did the trick for me. Or some very much needed help from my husband when I wanted to look 'presentable'. Oh, and as a word of advice, don't bother wearing a bra for a while. I tried to when I still had my staples in and regretted every moment of it. Hmmm.... big hugs, I still can't do them with my daughter. Big hugs still hurt me right now. Just remember that your back will be very very sensitive to touch and it will feel like a giant bruise all over your back. (at least it was/is that way for me) I just remind my little girl that mommy has an owie and that she can't do that right now. (every time I tell her that she picks my shirt up to see if the cut is still there, however when I first got out of the hospital and she saw the staples she didn't want to have anything to do with me ) A few things I've become to love since I've had this procedure done is the little grabber thing with suction cups I got from the hospital, bend-e straws (great for when you wake up every so many hours for your meds and need a drink) Hmm... Oh, and just to give you a heads up, the first couple of weeks after being out of the hospital are going to be the hardest. Don't try and see how long you can go without taking your meds, or just forget to take them. You will regret it. I don't mind all the questions.. I enjoy being able to give some insight to others and let them know what I experienced and hope that it may bring some relief to their anxiety.
            25 yr old female =^_^=
            Thoracic curve 48 degrees (with kyphosis)
            Lumbar curve 23 degrees
            surgery from t5-l1 25 July 2005
            Two rods and 16 screws later . . . 0 degrees YAY!

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't have kids, but was just reading your posts and have to say that everything "itsjustme" has said is true and will help you to recover more quickly and easily. You really will have to take it easy for a while. When you overdo it...you spend the next couple of days not doing much of anything. I too found the couch very comfortable, loved my grabber and lived with my Rubbermaid cups by my side whenever I was lying down. They're the kind with the straw inside and the little sipper that flips up. You feel like a little kid with a sippy cup at first, but they prevents spills in the middle of the night!

              I was ok with hugs right from the time I left the hospital...I allowed everyone to hug me because I didn't want it to feel weird or to hurt and that seemed to work. I too stuck with oversized tees and front zip sweatshirts for the first couple of months. Like I said, I don't have kids, but I do have a dog and I did have to retrain her that she could not lie next to me and rest her head on my ribcage...something she loves to do!!! Even though the pain is just about totally gone from that area (still some numbness which feels strange though) she is still very careful when lying down next to me.

              Good luck pkscott....this site is a wealthy of knowledge!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by HGD24
                I too found the couch very comfortable, loved my grabber and lived with my Rubbermaid cups by my side whenever I was lying down. They're the kind with the straw inside and the little sipper that flips up. You feel like a little kid with a sippy cup at first, but they prevents spills in the middle of the night! . . . .
                Couldn't have said that better myself. My husband would give me my daughters Dora the Explorer sippr cup with the lid/straw thingie. Childish, but great! I however would use my grippie thing to grab the remote every time I knocked it off the couch.
                25 yr old female =^_^=
                Thoracic curve 48 degrees (with kyphosis)
                Lumbar curve 23 degrees
                surgery from t5-l1 25 July 2005
                Two rods and 16 screws later . . . 0 degrees YAY!

                Comment


                • #9
                  thank you for the encouragement and advice

                  Thank you all so much for your advice. I need all the support I can get. I will have help with my 4 year old. She will be staying at my sister's house for a couple of months. On the other hand- I live with my 2 year old's father and he will be caring for her. The truth is I am very nervous about this. He has never given her a bath or dressed her for daycare or anything like that. I hope he can hendle it. I have a feeling I will be pushed to help him even when I'm not ready to.
                  I guess I'll have to get through it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Pkscott
                    Thank you all so much for your advice. I need all the support I can get. I will have help with my 4 year old. She will be staying at my sister's house for a couple of months. On the other hand- I live with my 2 year old's father and he will be caring for her. The truth is I am very nervous about this. He has never given her a bath or dressed her for daycare or anything like that. I hope he can hendle it. I have a feeling I will be pushed to help him even when I'm not ready to.
                    I guess I'll have to get through it.

                    my husband did that to me. He had me taking our 42lb puppy to the vets office! (my back still hurts from that), and getting my daughter ready for daycare. It is very difficult to control a rambunctious 2 yr old when you are not at 100%. Just let him know that you will not be able to many things for a good while after your surgery. @ 2 wks post op my husband didn't bother helping me with the laundry so I had to manage to do that on my own along with loading the dishwasher (the grabber and plenty of pain meds helped with that one) And walking up and down the stairs in the house doesn't help that much either. hmm.. As far as giving your daughter a bath just go in the bathroom with them and 'supervise' while sitting down . Oh, and another tidbit of information while it's fresh in my mind.... the hardest thing you are going to go through after surgery is walking again for the first time. I found that I looked like I had a piece of invisible plywood nailed to my back because I was that stiff (however I know stand a towering 5ft!!! YAY!). Also getting on and off the toilet is going to be hard because you have to use your legs and not your back. (I'd start practicing now if I were you) Showers are also going to be difficult at first. Try to have someone in the bathroom with you to help you out, and a big comfy bathrobe is great to have because it won't be putting pressure on the incision site (and don't rub it try pat dry, or do what I did, let it air dry) Anywho... just remember to take it one day at a time. And whatever you do, Don't overdo it!
                    25 yr old female =^_^=
                    Thoracic curve 48 degrees (with kyphosis)
                    Lumbar curve 23 degrees
                    surgery from t5-l1 25 July 2005
                    Two rods and 16 screws later . . . 0 degrees YAY!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh Shelley....please take care of yourself and take it easy, and if you can get help when you do need it, because you're still early post op and you want to heal properly and the fusion to take Be firm sometimes

                      About the showers, I did put a chair in mine for the first month or so, it helped since I didn't have balance and certainly couldn't wash my legs or feet standing up. When I could take a bath after the stitches disolved, it felt good and relaxed my muscles a lot
                      35 y/old female from Montreal, Canada
                      Diagnosed with scoliosis(double major) at age 12, wore Boston brace 4 years at least 23 hours a day-curve progressed
                      Surgery age 26 for 60 degree curve in Oct. 1997 by Dr.Max Aebi-fused T5 to L2
                      Surgery age 28 for a hook removal in Feb. 1999 by Dr.Max Aebi-pain free for 5 years
                      Surgery age 34 in Dec.2005 for broken rod replacement, bigger screws and crosslinks added and pseudarthrosis(non union) by Dr. Jean Ouellet

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