One breast smaller than the other

[december1]

Hi, because of my scoliosis, one of my breasts is MUCH smaller than the other. I'm not talking smaller as in if you really look closely, I'm talking whole different cup sizes.

I'm wondering if any others are in the same boat and how they deal with it. I'm 26 and have never had a boyfriend, as I've driven away anyone interested since I assume they'd run the other way in disgust if I'd ever let them see me naked.

I need to know if any women have been able to find men who did not care, and who were able to see beyond this. I'd like to believe that's possible, but sometimes I get really disillusioned and resign myself to spinsterhood.

Thanks.

[Alison]

If a guy is worth their while (and yes there is guy's out their like that) they are going out with someone for who the person is (their personality etc) not for whether they're fat/thin/big boobed etc. Give guys some credit.

It may be difficult but if you never go out their and check out 'the possibilities' you'll never know, and you'll leave yourself constantly wondering what if............And there's lots of places to meet someone which aren't necessarily limited to pubs and nightclubs.

You know I dated a guy with CP who was wheelchair bound at one stage......I could see beyond the chair and the 'disability label' and I fell in love with the guy in the chair and who he was....a lot of the time I forgot the chair was even there. I've also dated what you'd class as 'hot' guy's too. I have friends who you'd class as 'fat' who've picked up some of the best looking guys I've seen. They go out with an attitude of knowing whilst their body isn't 100 perfect they go out with confidence and a special zest for life, that you can't help but notice them.

My body isn't the best to look at; there's stretch marks across my belly from a period of rapid weight gain when I was growing up, I have a cup size difference in each breast and the scar from my scoli surgery with still a big rib hump, very uneven shoulders and big curves in my back. I know my body's not perfect but I focus on what I can change, not what I can't

There's lots of ways to deal with it. In the bedroom a sexy nightdress can work wonders to hide 'yucky bits'; nice flattering clothes when you are out and about......and also a mask of confidence (even if you're really nervous on the inside) and a big smile on your face.

Regards

Alison

[blairf83]

Most guys are so happy to see boobs period that they don't notice assymetry. ;) I am in the same boat as you are (a full cup size different). My last boyfriend ONLY wanted me for my body. And that was complete with a single curve that left me with no waist on my left side, a scar a foot long on my abdomen from another surgery, and then scoliosis surgery and that scar. He never noticed the difference, or if he did, it didn't make any difference to him. If a pig like him can accept that stuff ;) , I imagine most caring boyfriend types will handle it in a similar way.
But... yes, nice nighties can help a lot. I found that really taking care of and spoiling myself helped me out with accepting my body and rasing my self esteem. I tanned, I went running religiously, I bought nice makeup, tried out a different haircut etc... I prettied myself up to the point that even with scoliosis and crooked boobs, I felt pretty darn good about how I looked...

[djsmom]

I had the same problem, especially after breast feeding my son who was born in 1993. It didn't bother my husband (they were sooo small anyway), but I had breast augmentation that same year because it made ME feel better. I have to say it wasn't because of the lopsided thing. I was never shy or introverted, (to say the least) and I didn't have problems being naked; I just didn't like how they looked after getting pretty big breastfeeding. If we hadn't been financially able at the time and if HE said he wanted them bigger, I wouldn't have done it. It's a personal decision and it may or may not help you feel better about your body. Believe me, I've been up down from a size 2 to a size 12 and most men are just thrilled to see a woman naked and love breasts no matter what size they!

I think guys won't have a problem with your breasts; you are probably acutely aware of it. My shoulders are crooked, I have gained more weight than needed for my poor back and have a very visible curve that practically melds into my shoulder blade. Yet my husband still tells me how beautiful I am and I'm sure he'd love to see my breasts whatever size they may be. :rolleyes: No-one! is perfect and the right man will love you however you look.

I hope you can look inside yourself and see what's right for you! I'm sure one day when you have that someone special you'll feel completely at ease with him!

[zarafa]

I believe that in some cases medical insurance pays for plastic surgery to correct deformity. I read about a local plastic surgeon who augmented a breast of a young scoliosis patient because of the difference in size of breasts. I believe it is very common with scoliosis in women. But it is nice to know that a simple augmentation could be covered by insurance because of medical necessity. It's worth investigating.

[djsmom]

I'm not sure on the insurance thing, but I do know that most of them have good payment plans. You really have to make sure you have a reputable, board certified doctor. I know so many who have botched jobs, but I paid a little more for someone who I knew had an awesome rep and I knew several women who had them done there. Even my gyno said it was a good job at my last exam. (That thrilled my husband-loL!) Theyr'e using silicone again, but I'd advise against it. My sister's are like rocks and she had them done in California over 25 years ago and has never had anything but trouble. She can't even have a mammo they're so bad. I have saline and they're so much more natural looking than hers, plus no hardness or problems. (knock on wood)

[Searching]

I just wanted you to know that I had the same problem with breast size as you. However, I married and had a baby at the age of 20. I was very thin and had "lopsided" breasts with one being about twice as large as the other. I used to pad the small side to make them look symmetrical. To make matters worse I also had some stretch marks on them even before I got pregnant!! The doctor thought the reason for the stretch marks was that I had been previously fat. I said they appeared when my breasts started to develop and that I had never been fat. Of course with the pregnancy I got a lot of stretch marks on my breasts and abdomen and varicose veins!. (My doctor called them battle scars) So at 20 I was "marked" for life but my husband loved me anyway and never asked me to do anything about it all.
I didn't know that scoliosis was a factor in breast size until I read it on this forum. My daughter noticed the same asymmetry (that I had) in her breasts, only after she had a baby. She doesn't have scoliosis. Her breasts were smaller than mine so maybe that is why the asymmetry wasn't noticed until her breasts increased in size due to pregnancy. Her breast issue didn't stop her from having relationships with men. She is on her 3rd husband!!!
I hope this helps you.

[marina]

I grew up during the "sexual revolution" and used to be hung up about the breast difference and back hump, using half padded bras and other camoflage. Eventually I realized if a guy didn't want to be with me because of it, then he was a superficial jackass I had no use for. I stopped trying to hide it and found it never prevented me from being involved with men I WANTED to be involved with. (You choose THEM too!) I'm now married to a loving smart funny guy (for over 15 years.) And I trust him, too. I couldn't trust someone who would be bothered by it.

I would NEVER get breast surgery to correct this...The kind of guys who would be bothered by yr breast would be bothered by yr back, or yr nose or yr ears or the way you wear yr hair...the heck with them! Consider your scoliosis an early jerk detector.

[sierrarainstorm]

My hubby and I make light of my breast size difference...I laughingly tell people I am a DC ! :D

[Ginav]

Hi! I had the same problem and at age 15, the "adults" decided to give me one breast implant. That lasted until my 20's when your body changes. I then had two implants put in to even me up again. I had three children in my 30's, breastfed and then found that my implants had ruptured resulting in my third surgery. I can tell you that how you feel about yourself is VERY important, but you have to decide if you are willing to go to those lengths to appear even. I would do it again ( even though it was no picnic), but some times I wish I could have just told the world to go jump instead of worrying about what people would think when they saw me in a bathing suit!

[Vivid-Dawn]

As Blair said, some men just like the fact you -have- breasts ;) My husband says "as long as it's a hand full, it's just right".

Rib humps got put into this somehow, but my comment goes along with the whole 'how your body looks' thing. Some people really can look past that. My husband usually sits on my left side, but one Sunday he was sitting on my right, and commented about me having a hump he never noticed before. This was after 2 years of marriage... of course, he also grew up with me (he lived across the street, and his older sister was my best friend)...so maybe he was just used to it.
But anyway, the point is that he loved me for ME, and then later got to realizing my physical faults...but he'd already made a commitment, and was trapped LOL ;) j/k

[december1]

Thanks to everyone who posted, I'm definitely more confident now about finding a guy who will not care about my "boob situation". Now...

How did you all broach the subject? Did you tell them what to expect before they saw you naked? How did they react when you told them/when they noticed?

The more scenarios you guys can give me to prepare for when I'm finally comfortable enough to bare all the better. Thanks, this information means so much!!

[sweetness514]

The fact of the matter is if you really love and feel loved and comfortable with a man-wich is one of the most important things in a relationship, or else there's not much; well then you will tell him about your back, your health problems, your fears and insecurities and he should understand and love you despite of them. That's all :cool:

[shabeezze_girl]

If a man is a real man he won't care about anything like that anyway. He's more interested in other things. I am new to this posting thing and thought I should definatly reply to your post.

When I was a child I was made fun of - of course because of the brace and also because I had a crooked nose. I didn't have a boyfriend until senior year of high school, and even then I was talked into doing something because that would make it "real." F**K THAT. I did my thing for a few years. Now that I am older and I realize that I wanted male attention because I lacked that boyfriend thing as a teenager. I suppose you could say that one breast is a little smaller than the other, but really, I wasted so much time when I was younger being afraid of what others would say, that these days I don't give a D**N and once you realize that, then it'll find you when you least expect it. Keep your head up and you''l find your man- actually- he'll probabaly find you, but don't stress yourself on what other people think. And besides have you ever heard the saying ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME! ;)

[Emmaleah]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am 23 and I have a major double curve in my spine. This either has caused or makes more noticable the fact that one breast is much smaller than the other. I am 5'5" and 115 lbs, so neither of my breasts are big (to say the least), but the one is much much (a full cup size) smaller than the other.

To make matters worse, when I was 16 I was in a bad car accident and had a double compound fracture in my left leg. I now have a titanum rod in that leg and a nice scar to go with it. I also have a (what I think is horrible) scar on my hip where they took bone and skin to graft to my leg.

So, when I look at myself in the mirror, this is what I see:

I deformed back, one noticably smaller breast, a deformed/scarred hip and an even more deformed/scarred leg.

That is my view of myself. I have never had a problem getting guys interested in me. (Not to sound conceited) But, I think that a lot of what we see of ourselves, others don't really see.

If you saw me on a regular day walking down the street, you would never know that anything was wrong with me. But I still feel very self-conscious about my body when I am shopping for clothes, or on a beach.

In the bedroom? Never a problem. Every boyfriend I have ever had has not even made a comment about any of the things I am worried about.

I am now living with my current boyfriend and I asked him one day if he thought I should get breast augmentation. His response was, "for what?" I said, "because they are so uneven." He said, "I didn't even notice."

Either love is blind, or he just doesn't care. It is noticable, but no guy I have ever been with has ever complained about it. I have never brought it up to any guy before (besides the conversation with my current bf).

Like someone had said in one of the earlier posts, boobs are boobs and thats all most guys care about when it comes to that subject. ;)

[BaDnOn]

You really should give a man some more credit, December. Some of us aren't that shallow. That kinda thing wouldn't really make any difference to me or any one of my friends. I know that chicks are very concerned with their appearance, more so than they should be in many cases. And hell, I'm 26... Couldn't imagine never being with anyone at this age. Don't be afraid. We're not all scumdogs.

-BAdNoN

[december1]

Thanks, guys. Your comments have really been helping me as I work on my self-esteem regarding my scoliosis. Can't wait to find the right guy so I can face my fears. ;)

[Irene]

Hi December! ~ Wow! I just read all of these posts for the first time! I thought that I was the only one in the whole world who has one boob a LOT smaller than the other boob! I've never talked to any one about my boob problem and I am 60 years old! You have all done wonders for me! ~ I have been happily married for 33 years, but I've always been self-conscious about my uneven breasts... My husband has always told me to stop being so silly about it. He even went so far as to ask me if I've ever noticed that one of his "items" is smaller than the other one! (hee hee)! When I was in my teens and 20's, life was much different. Back in the late 50's and early 60's, "petting" and "making out" was the big thing... which was usually done in the dark at a drive-in! So, I can't really relate to the active sex scene which is very common today... I'm kind of thankful that I dated back then and not now. I never had to worry about letting anyone see me naked... but I'm so thankful that all of you have shared this situation. As everything in life... it's nice to know that we are not alone! ~ I have had 4 baby girls and I nursed them all successfully! My tiny, uneven "boobs" have served their REAL purpose! ~ Also please remember that there are many women who are walking this Earth with ZERO boobs due to mastectomies because of breast cancer... We need to be thankful for what we have! God Bless!

[sweetness514]

Irene youre so funny, don't give up that spirit :)

My mom who's 63 was telling me about the "necking" she used to do on Mount Royal(in the car) with my dad one time, and I thought I was gonna die, lmao!

[Irene]

Thanks, Sweetness! Laughter is the best medicine, and since I started taking the serotonin enhancer "Lexapro", I'm doing a lot more of it! Feeling happier mentally makes is easier to handle this pain and discomfort of my "suit of armor"! (Now remember... "necking" only and hands outside the clothes"!!) ~giggle~

[sweetness514]

Hehe :p

Irene, if you don't mind me asking, what are you taking serotonin for?

[SandyC]

Sweetness,
Irene is taking Lexapro, a tranqulizer, which enhances her levels of a natural occuring hormone in the brain called serotonin

[Irene]

Hey Sweet-Sweetness! Hi there Sandy! ~ My doctor put me on Lexapro for my depression and I was told it's not a "tranquilizer"... It just helps my brain to produce "serotonin", which is a chemical that our brain produces (which we all have) that gives us a feeling of happiness. My depression has been due to all the pain I've been in for a very long time. Whatever the drug is, it's a miracle for me at the present time. I have actually gotten out of bed for about the past 10 days without the strong desire to stay there all day! Pain can cause severe depression... It did for me... I'm happy to say that I can actually get through the day without crying. My husband told me that he really notices a difference (for the better) in my attitude! If any of you are suffering from depression, please ask your family doctor about Lexapro... or Celexa... or one of those! Thanks for listening!

[SandyC]

Irene,
I was on Lexapro for nearly 2 years.....great stuff. It really helped with coping with chronic pain :rolleyes:

[dancerchick15]

i don't know why i've never written on here because subject is exactly me! i'm seventeen and of course i feel self conscious about it but i wear a padded bra with extra on one side and none on the other to balance it out and are told they look nice! i've never been in a situation where someone saw them without my magic bra, but am a little anxious for when this situation arises but if they can get over my rib hump, other things should be a snap!

[Irene]

Great attitude, Dancer! Keep it up! ~ ~ ...and Sandy... I'm curious... Why did you stop taking the Lexapro?

[SandyC]

Irene,
In 2002 I had A/P surgery and became the poster child for "if it could go wrong...... :( " I had an MI (heart attack) in the recovery room after the anterior incision. After every cardiac test known to man it was decided to go ahead with the posterior incision a week later. I developed CHF (congestive heart failure) on the 3rd day post op. Four months after all that my posterior incision opened up...I had developed MRSA. Somewhere between the PICC Lines and 6 surgeries in 8 months I developed a really bad case of depresson :( :( . Flash forward a couple of years to today, any pain that I have is well controlled with Neurton, and muscle relaxants. I weaned myself off simple because I wanted to reduce the amount of meds I was taking. Oh, I was 53 at the time, not what I would consider a geriatric patient ;) . I had no history of heart diease.

[sweetness514]

I'm happy that such a drug is helping some of you, I can understand how it must feel. I for one am a very upbeat type of person who laughs at myself and everything but when the pain gets too much, like it does now, I believe I am depressed as well. It's good to know that there are meds that can help, as I will wait to get surgery and take care of my situation but it's always good to know. I did take some anti depressants once for a few weeks in my teens, but they put me to sleep and I thought all types did.

Sandy, I'm so sorry for your ordeal and all the operations you went through. You're a fighter and I'm happy that you are doing well :)

[Irene]

Well, I know we've gotten off the subject of "one breast smaller than the other", but I guess it's all inclusive! My spine is crooked, my hips are crooked, so why shouldn't my breasts be crooked? ha ha! My entire yucky body depresses me, but it's very easy to handle when compared to the pressure and squeezing I feel in my spine from all the rods and screws! If Lexapro keeps helping my mental attitude the way it's presently doing, I shall stay on the stuff!

Sandy, I'm so, so sorry for what you've been through. I had no idea. God Bless You. Keep taking whatever works!

Sweetness, I'm 5'9" tall and I weigh 138 lbs. I take one 10 mg tablet of Lexapro daily... and it does not make me sleepy at all. It's just giving me a marvelous attitude! I hope you ask your doctor about it!

[sweetness514]

I will try to take care of my pains through surgery, but will think about it if the pains remain in the future. What a great drug, I'm sure Tom Cruise would curse it, LOL :D

Speaking about body issues, before the surgery my left breast was bigger than the right, and I had a hump, plus some weird shape with my front rib cage, all that is gone except my rib hump, that is less visible but still there a bit. The thing with me, is that the orthos an doctors are often saying what a nice job my surgeon did, and how good my back and body looks, but I would prefer not having any pain ;) I do see that I must have lucked out on that issue though, as even before my surgery I never cared about my hump, dressed sexy if I wanted to, and maybe it was because I had lordosis and it wasn't as noticebale. My legs and shoulders were always even as well. The surgery did make me some gain weight though(I used to be stick thin), I don't know if it's due to the fact that I'm straighter or older :p And all the exercises I do don't help... :rolleyes:

[Kristin]

Hi I am new here! I am 34 and had surgery at 14! I noticed my breast were asymetrical about that time! At 18 I called my doc myself (with my moms blessing) and he referred me to a plastic surgeon in my health group! They were more than happy to fix it! I had an implant put in the smaller breast to make them about the same size. Perfection is not promised since with scoliosis your breast wall (bone etc) are off as well as breast tissue. Nevertheless I was thrilled had no problems and for me it made me feel and look great! Every major insurance that I can think of will cover this type of medically caused "defect" for lack of a better term. If you feel for a second that you are self conscious because of it then high tail it to your doctor. No one will think less of you for wanting to look how you should have had you not had scoliosis. It is so nice to not worry about the right bra or shirt to help even you out!!

Kristin

[dancerchick15]

hi! i was wondering...i'm seventeen and have considered having plastic surgery to even out my breasts...how old do u have to be before they will consider doing it....you were eighteen...i'm done growing bone wise but i don't think i'm totally done growing otherwise...but regardless of growth..they won't even out on their own. just wondering if you knew the answer to this and if you could tell me alittle about your surgery with the recovery time and pain. thanks!

[Link_pad]

Jeez im a bloke with the same problem and as i lift so much weights at the gymn i get same problem with my pecks which is really annoying but the women i have had dont seem to be all that bothered by it and i know i woudnt on a girl i mean as long as u love them thats all that matters.
I find the problem is worse as doctors don't know much about the problem so are pretty hopeless.
I somtimes dream of wearing a tight t-shirt lol not ure everyday american dream but there u go. But i just lift weights to help with my problem.

Regards

Link_pad

[1boy1girl]

I have the same problem. I never realized the scoliosis was the reason for it though. My husband actually likes it. He says each one feels different. Guess it gives him that 2 different women fantasy. LOL

Tammy

[LEELEE85]

I kind of have the same problem too. I do have rather a decent size though 12D's but my right breast clevage if you call it that starts a little lower then the left. If that makes sense. But only i can notice it my partner never did until i mentioned it too him. I'm not sure if my surgery will change that might have to ask my surgeon.

Lee

[ellebee]

december, you asked about telling the guy beforehand ...

i was 27 before I ever had ANY romantic/sexual activity with a boy, and then it sorta just happened with this one guy who - as a previous poster put it - wanted me JUST for my body.

I've had 2 surgeries for my scoliosis, still have a 25+ degree curve, a rather large rib hump, i'm way too skinny, and my right breast is practically nonexistant while the other one is smaller than most 10-year-olds'.

I had told the guy I had scoliosis and had a big scar, but didn't mention the other stuff, and he never mentioned noticing it and even tho i was super-conscious of it, it never seemed to stop him. The next guy I was with I told him AFTER he had already seen me naked and then he said "really?" and started looking for it.

After that I decided not to bring it up ... if it came up in conversation, I'd talk about my scoliosis, but one guy I was sleeping with for a whole year and had never even mentioned it and when it came up one day he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about.

My current boyfriend knows that I'm self-conscious about it, but I've tried to keep my complaints minimal ... i've found that guys hate it when girls are constantly complaining about themselves ... i mean, I hate hearing my sister always say she's fat when she's totally not.

Anyway, my point ... your uneveness will not stop a guy from wanting you physically, especially if he truly likes you for who you are, and even the shallow ones often won't care. I wouldn't worry about telling them beforehand, but I agree that it feels like you owe them an explanation ... so I just say I have scoliosis and let them attribute any "problems" with my body to that.

And another piece of advice ... start dating a lot! Do the online thing ... it's hard, it's scary, it often sucks, and you're feelings will get hurt at some point, but as a girl who never dated until 27, it sure helped to go on LOTS of dates and see how they all compare ... it also becomes a lot easier, you learn a lot about yourself, you learn a lot about what kind of person you like, you become more comfortable with dates and you act more like the real you than the nervous you, so I say go for it and stop pushing them away. :) Good luck!!! And have fun!!!

[Chayil]

Hi Guys, i have a question, i know most if not all females with scoliosis has one breast smaller than the other, after surgery do they get more even or do they stay the same? iwould really like to know. Thanks again.