my brother

[Andrew Bryce]

Hi, my name is Andrew Bryce. I have just joined the forum and this is my first post. I have lived with scoliosis for the last 40 years after it was first dianosed. Lately i have been arguing with my brother about my condition. he seems to think that it is self-inflicted. That i was at fault by having scoliosis. When i was younger i would stand in the same position bent over the side board in my kitchen my brother and he thinks that i have aided the condition by doing so. Even after all these years he still thinks. I was born with a mild learning difficulty and because of this i was slow at learning things that other people can learn no problem. This coupled with my condition brought on sever depression which i have also lived with for the last 30 years. During my life I was put in long term mental health institutions. These places were just not the right places for me to be. i have came through this and i am now living in my own home in glasgow Scotland. I have a support team built round about me to help me with things i cant do for myself. Although i can do 99% of things myself. Due to my learning difficulty i am very forgetful but this does not stop me from living the full life that i choose to live. I still have problems with my brothers who still say it is my fault that have scoliosis. My support team have downloaded all sorts of material from the internet for them to read. But they chose not to do so. I would very much like to here from anyone in a similar situation as mine.

[Courtney Bannon]

I recall that i spent a lot of time doing my homework on the ground and I would be laying on the side with my shoulders propped up.......and the thought did cross my mind that maybe it was 'my fault'........but then i thought about it more and realized that this was a small portion of the day, and what was probably happening (and same for you in the kitchen) was that my back had mild scoliosis at that time (pre-diagnosis) and that curving over in that way brought some relief.

Tell that to your brother.

[Jimbo]

Tell your brother that the way you stood has nothing to do with your scoliosis. It is something you are born with. Anyways mate, i hope you start to feel better.

[rainbow2010]

If you read the article on the front page of this site, you will see that they have now found a gene that causes this!!! I have scoliosis and so does one of my daughters. The other daughter does not have it. Some of us are born lucky to have this. I have learned so much about the human body and methods of pain control (other than medicine). My sisters were the same way with me 30 years ago. They did not like the fact that I was getting more attention than them!

[crepehanger]

yes, your brother sucks !!! you have come such a long ways in your life and have too much crap to deal with without his nonsense. if scoliosis was self inflicted, we never would willingly hand over our bodies, livelihoods, and sense of wellbeing to this deformity. what an idiot......... congratulations on your accomplishments in spite of that fool. lisa

[The Historian]

I recall that i spent a lot of time doing my homework on the ground and I would be laying on the side with my shoulders propped up.......and the thought did cross my mind that maybe it was 'my fault'........but then i thought about it more and realized that this was a small portion of the day, and what was probably happening (and same for you in the kitchen) was that my back had mild scoliosis at that time (pre-diagnosis) and that curving over in that way brought some relief.

Tell that to your brother.

I've lost more than 140 pounds through diet and exercise over the past couple of years. When I was diagnosed with scoliosis in January, I blamed the cause on the excess weight I'd carried for years. Then I realized the reason I was sedentary for so long was that it hurt to move - my spine isn't my only structural problem. So my obesity was aided by my scoliosis - I say aided because no person or thing made me fat other than me. The OP was probably seeking relief in a bad posture, and he should tell his brother that. If he talks to the brother again; I don't see why he should.

[txmarinemom]

Andrew, it appears no amount of factual data will convince him. If it were me, I'd simply tell him the topic is off limits next time he mentions it.

I'm not sure what he thinks would be gained even if you said it were your fault (and it's NOT!). Would it make it go away? No. It is what it is, and why he wants to assign blame - to *anyone* - is beyond me.

Hang in there, and just refuse to debate the subject. Next time he starts in, just smile :) ... you have no obligation to defend yourself.

Don't let him get the best of you!

Best regards,
Pam