View Full Version : Sex

10-13-2015, 02:45 PM
So, here goes....

For those of you who've had the surgery (as I have), were any of your partners afraid of hurting you during sex? That seems to be an issue for me. My sweet husband can't forget about my recovery and relax his brain enough to enjoy. I keep reassuring him that I will definitely let him know if it hurts (!) but he says it's a mental block for him. Also, I just can't move in the same ways as before (fused to sacrum) and surgery was 9 months ago. We're still trying to figure out how to coordinate our bodies; I've looked online at suggestions for people who are disabled. It barely helps! There are many variations possible, but sometimes you just things to work the way they used to. We are both young (ish) and I really don't want to face a lifetime of this. It affects the relationship and our individual identities.

My other question is more graphic, and really for the women out there (sorry guys), and probably requires a PM response. How do you lift your hips the right way? I know about pillows, but that only helps a little. So far, I haven't been able to get any specific recommendations from people who've had this surgery. I figure with all of the specific bodily functions discussed on here, what's one more?!


10-14-2015, 02:52 AM
Hello, Mom: There was a thread a while back on this topic or maybe another thread deviated into sex.

Yes, my husband was very afraid to have sex and feared hurting me. When the restricted time rolled by, I think that it was 6 weeks, I mentioned intimacy was OK now and he said that he wanted to wait. This was very surprising to me as I was sure that he desired intimacy. When we finally had sex, I was on the bottom....sort of, but he did not put his weight on me. He was on top, but turned to the side. I did use a pillow under my hips. I suggest a very soft comforter under your body for additional comfort.

In addition to the usual limitations from fusion, I had a spinal cord injury last year, so I have vague electrical shock sensations in my lower extremities, difficulty moving my legs, difficulty flexing my hips, and decreased sensation below L4-5. Guess that it sounds like I am not much fun as a sexual partner.....but I wear a lot of Shalimar perfume to compensate ;+} .

The good news is that sex does get better with time and with success.....and lots of great smelling perfume!

Hope this helps. Send me a PM if you would like with specific questions.


10-14-2015, 10:26 AM
Thank you so much to Susan and the other PM's I received.

Susan, I'm very impressed that you are still intimate with your husband despite all of your setbacks. The medical saga for you is endless, so it must be some spectacular sex if you're still at it! LOL...no need to reply!

If there are any spouses on here who'd like to share an opinion, that would be great. Or even ask your spouses at home about the issue of fragility and positions.

Thanks again!

10-14-2015, 10:40 AM
I tried PM you but it said that your box is full


10-14-2015, 11:41 AM
I cleared it now. Thanks.