I'm Just Stressed Out

[nicoles mom]

Hello To All Moms Who Has Been Through Surgery
My Daughter Is Having Surgery March 30
How Did You Get Through It

I Can't Sleep....
My Husband Can't Sleep And Just Got Laid Off From Work.....
My Dad Just PassED Away....
I Feel So???????????????????????........
Nicole Is Fine Not A Worry In Her Mind.
She Is Just Clueless About The Pain.
I Took Her For A Blood Test Today Type And Cross.
She Was Fine [ I Did Talk To Her About It Last Night] She Never Had A Blood Test That She Remembers. Next Week We Go For Mri Ekg And Pulumury. My Husband Needs To Go Give Blood For The Surgery Because She Only Weights 74 Pounds.[ Shes 12 ]
I'm A Little Upset I Can"t Give Blood But My Husband Should Be A Match.

[lrmb]

So sorry to hear you're so overwhelmed with everything happening, and especially to hear about your dad. I'm not a mom, but I've been reading this forum for many months now, and it seems that the kids are the most resilient ones of all, they seem to bounce back and just get on with things as best they can after the surgery. I'm sure other moms will write and give advice on how to get through the days, but I just wanted to write and say I'll be thinking of you, and courage in the period before your daughter's surgery. Take care ~Laura

[nikyergen]

I think you and I are just about walking side by side. I know the "I Can't Sleep" syndrome. My 16 year old daughter is having surgery on the 15th of March. Overwhelmed, most of the time, especially since all three of my daughters have back issues. 16 yr old - Scheuermans Kyphosis/Scolios, surgery 3/15/05, 14 yr old - mild scoliosis, she's a wait and watch, and 13 yr old with Scheuermans Kyphosis, wears a brace 23 hrs. a day. Getting through it, barely, staying very busy, and not by choice; putting a lot of faith in God. Thank God for having a ranch to run, keeps me very busy. Plus, I have a job I do at home. Not a worry in the world, my daughter says she is trusting God on this one. Husband sleeping, like a rock. Fortunately, is finally stable in his job. On top of all of this, I have had to watch my daughters do their sports, getting banged around (They all three play basketball and are play post positions).

Just hang in there and make sure you ask all of the questions you have to your doctor, his nurse, other parents, etc. I'm no pro on this, but I am here if you need some support. Mary Lou has been a great support too.

I'll keep you in my prayers as you go through this.

'til later,
Nikki

[nicoles mom]

Three Daughters With Scoliosis Wow!!! Three Braces I Only Have One And We Together Are Going To Throw That Thing Into The Ocean After Surgery.but We Can't She Still Will Have To Wear Her {a New} Brace After Surgery. To Hold The Lumber Cruve Which Should Be At 15 After Surgery, It's 55 Now. She Or I Not Looking Forward About That.shes In It Now 16 Hrs. Wore It For 2 Yrs. 23 Hrs. She And I Fight About Wearing That Brace All The Time. Shes A Dancer 5 Hrs A Week Ballet Jazz And Hip Hop. Never Into Sports.goes To Pt 3 Times A Week To Work Out.so Thats The Only Time She Not Wearing The Brace.now She Can't Breath In It.so Hopefully The Surgery And The New Brace Only Pushing Her Lumbar Will Be Less Stressful.this Is Way God Bless Me With One Child.

I Thank You For Your Post And I Will Hang In.just So Gald I Can Vent On These Boards. I Have Spoke To Mary Lou, Jennifer And Susann. You Are Also In My Prayers.

[nicoles mom]

Laura Thank You For Your Post.your Right Kids Are Resilient.my Nicole Is Just Fine With Everything That Is Going To Happen In The Next Three Weeks. She Scars Me Just Too Calm. But I Do Talk To Her About What She Made Feel Like After Surgery.i Tell Her Mommy Will Be There The Whole Time. But She Just Doesn't Get It I Get No Questions Back In Our Talks. I Think Thats Why I'm So Overwhelmed.she Going To Look At Me With Those Big Brown Eyes And I"m Not Going To Be Able To Take That Pain Away. I Was Very Sick For A Long Time Many Years Ago And Had Lots Of Courage Then. I Guess I Wish I Could Go Do The Surgery For Her And Thats That.
Theresa
P.s. I'm Also Going Gray Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[nikyergen]

Theresa,
I'm going gray to. Just got all my highlights cut off last week. Boy is there a lot of gray. Haven't decided if I should highlight again, or just let it get gray.

I worry about the pain after surgery and not being able to take it away. I hate to see my kids hurt. I cried when they were babies and would get their childhood shots. I got the the point I had my husband take them for their shots, because I would cry before anything would even happen.

We have daily fights with our 13 year old about wearing her brace. I have even threatened to duc tape the stupid thing to her. I think I hate it as much as she does. But, she needs to wear it to keep from having surgery. She complains that it is hard to breath in it, and that her tummy gets full after a couple of bites of dinner. What about bronzing it, like it was a baby shoe? Probably cost prohibitive. Ha!Ha!

I get the same sure thoughts from my daughter. Everything is going to be alright. Part of our problem is we are adults and know that things do happen. All three of our daughters had their final diagnosis on the same day. Felt like I had been hit with a brick wall, but we picked up our pieces, made our adjustments, and have gone on with life. No one has slowed down to look back.

We'll compare how we coped the day of surgery afterwards.

'til later,
Nikki

[nicoles mom]

NIKKI
HI
THANKS FOR THE POST.
YOU MAY ME LAUGH OUT LOUD

[Mary Lou]

So, you can't eat, can't sleep, your hair is going gray. All of that sounds very familiar especially if you add heartburn to the list. I may not seem like it now, but trust me, it will get better. Everyone asks us how we got through the surgery...what did you do while waiting for the surgery to be done...and the only thing I can really tell you is that when you are a Mom you can do anything. It won't be easy, but you will get through it. We searched for a long time(saw 5 doctors) to find a doctor who was right for Jamie and the whole family, prayed a lot, talked a lot, asked tons of questions from people on this forum, tried a Milwaukee brace and a Boston brace and in the end, I told Jamie we did all that we could do.

As for the girls not wanting to talk about the surgery, I'd say to you Moms keep talking! They may not respond to you, but they do hear you. You'd be surprised at how much they've learned just from listening to you.

Anyway, enough rambling. Trust in yourself. And know that we all having you in our thoughts and prayers.

Mary Lou

[jc3]

nicoles mom
all of us who have been in your shoes can totally relate to how you are feeling. The stress you are feeling before your daughters surgery is a feeling that no one else can truly understand unless they have been in the same situation. It was all i could think about beforehand and friends don't really understand that is why i was on this board everyday, everyone here helped me so much, i don't know what i would have done without everyone here. I remember so vividly when we booked the surgery there was a mother and her daughter at the office for her daughters 3 1/2 week post op check up and the nurse brought us into meet them. I was a wreck from just booking the surgery and i was crying and i'll never forget how the girl looked so great, she said she felt fine and the mother told me that the hardest part was the stress before the surgery, she said i wish i could tell you not to worry because it all turns out fine. But of course i worried and everything did turn out fine. So of course we can't tell you not to worry, but just hang in there, talk about it, that helps. My daughter would not talk about the surgery at all. She didn't want to have it, but the night before i wished i had something to calm her down, she let loose and that morning we practically had to carry her into the car. We had a real tough time with her before the surgery, so that led to some more stress in our house. She is so much happier since the surgery and not feeling guilty anymore for not wearing her brace. She feels like she doesn't have to worry about scoliosis anymore.
when you need to talk we're here for you.
Jennifer

[scoliosis-mom]

Theresa,

We're here for you. I completely understand your feelings as my daughter went through 12 hours of spinal fusion surgery 2 years ago.

The best advice I can give you is to try to take good care of yourself and your daughter in these next few weeks. I know that's difficult but you're going to need your rest to have the stamina you need at the hospital.

The day of surgery is a little surreal. My daughter, who was 16 at the time, didn't really comprehend what was happening and it tore me apart to see her walking to the O.R. with no sedation or worry. I know you realize that you have to be strong for your daughter. She will get through it just fine.

My daughter did have significant pain the first few days, but she also had 14 vertebrae fused with anterior/posterior surgery. The good news is that she has very little memory of the worst of it. Be strong for your daughter in those first few days and she most likely won't remember as much as you do. (My daughter doesn't remember half of the first week).

Be strong for her in recovery and the first night. She will need your reassurance and it really will be okay! Kids have their youth on their side and heal so much more quickly than adults :-)

Two years down the road, it was the best thing we could have done for my daughter. She laughs and wishes she could have another 2 months off from school

We've all struggled with whether surgery is best, but until they can alter this disease genetically, many families will have to face this choice.

Let us know if there is anything else we can do to ease your pain.

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's situation and your dad. It seems like everything is hitting all at once and it's really overwhelming. I can relate (although I won't get into details). Time will help heal these, too.

You're really not alone in this. Many of us have been there and you will get through it okay. In fact, less than a month after the surgery, I'm certain you will be feeling much better.

Let us know how you are doing !

Susan

[lorrie]

Hi there,
Just wanted to send you a hug - I'm currently going crazy too (waiting for a date - should be sometime in next month or so). The occasional large gin is a great help too - but just as hard to send over the internet!

[nikyergen]

Theresa,
See, we are all in this big boat together. We don't know where to turn or what to do. We take it one day at a time.

I'm glad you laughed. We all need to laugh about something. Yes, heartburn is eventually part of the deal. But, it haunts me with just a little stress.

I am so glad for these boards. We all get a chance to unwind and just express our feelings for the moment. I think it is wonderful therapy for all us.

We leave for Portland a week from tonight. The last three weeks have gone by so very fast. It seems like we had lots of time to get ready to go, and now it is only a week. Husband is starting to get a little uptight about the whole thing. He's been a grouch all day. I finally came in the house, instead of helping him outside. I don't mind getting greasy helping him when he is in a good mood, but not when he's grouchy.

Now, they are all fighting about who ate all the Ranch Dressing tonight at dinner. I'm just going to stay out of it and let them duke it out. See, life goes on as normal.

I think I am going to be looking for a long walk about Saturday, which my dog. She's quiety and just listens when I talk to her. No back talk or telling me I am wrong. Just sympothy and lots of love.

Anyhow, we will all get through this with the help of the wonderful people we have met on these boards - Mary Lou, Susan, Jennifer, and all the others.

'til later,
Nikki

PS-It always amazes me that there is someone on this thing 24 hours a day.
I know it's world wide, but it still amazes me.

[nicoles mom]

Mary Lou** Jennifer** Susan** Lorrie**nikki

I Thank You All For
Your Words Of
Experience And Support.

Sincerity Greatful
Theresa

[nicoles mom]

Nikki
Best Of Luck To You Family And Daughter
I Will Keep YOU In My Prayers
Theresa

[mamakay]

HEY,
Well thank goodness they got this thing fixed!!
I had gotten frustrated typing and then it was gone! ugh!

Nicoles mom,
I just want to tell you hang in there.
My dtr didn't want to talk before the surgery and I really didn't force her.
There will be enough of it after the surgery. I thought it was good to just to let her enjoy her life and when she had any questions she knew we would talk to her.
Those kids are really strong. I fell apart so many times and know laying in bed wishing when I woke up it would just be a bad dream.
It has been stressful but you have to be thankful there is the surgery.
Some one on here said to concentrate on keeping yourselves well and strong for your surgery. That was good advice.
There is alot you can do like get things ready at home now.
I am so sorry for all these children that must endure this, it is life changing but thank goodness we can talk and vent on this board.
later,Kay