View Full Version : Singles and Scoliosis surgery....For the singles only

06-10-2014, 10:39 PM
We should have a thread about those that did their scoliosis surgeries alone.....ok singles, that’s us.

For those singles contemplating surgery that are worried about things, it would be good to have some comments here. Pros and cons, support systems, relatives, friends, neighbors, cooking, eating, driving, food shopping etc....

I know one thing, I didn’t go anywhere without my cell phone just in case.

My ex flew in and tried to finally finish me off, but didn’t succeed. LOL Just kidding.....Sometimes you just cant keep these things a secret. Anyway, this is a start.

Personally, I thought it was just fine doing it alone.....but men are from Mars....

I left my front door unlocked so the nurses and neighbors could come in.....


06-15-2014, 05:24 PM
Hi Ed,
I did this surgery single. I have adult children that helped BUT it was more than a little rough. Adult children have their own lives.Even with all of my planning, and I did plan, I found out it wasn't enough. For example--All of the easy meals I had gotten ready---I was just too sick to care. So if someone didn't bring me food--I was happy to go without it. I could get up to get water or food--I just didn't care.Or if you dropped something in the shower, you could not get it. I learned to take 2 of everything in the shower.After surgery--I went to rehab -so when I came home from that I could get up and down---I just didn't have the energy to care if I ate or didn't.
I think it is much harder alone--caregivers come and go. But your mate is home with you. Friends ,adult children, brothers or sisters all have their own lives but you need someone all the time at first.

06-15-2014, 07:59 PM
Jackie, Thanks for posting.

I thought this thread slipped by the wayside never to be revisited again after the automatic spam attack....some of these software programmers don’t realize that they really do create a lot of heartburn and to do this on a medical support forum is just deplorable! Dregs of society.....bottom of the barrel.

Not caring and feeling depressed is a strong emotion after we get home. I don’t know if it’s a combination of the meds or what it is.....It can be a low point for sure and such a battle to stay motivated. I had to FORCE myself to eat after I lost 40# in 40 days. When my ex came she kinda panicked since I wasn’t doing well on my meds AT ALL. I was beat. I was grey and thin, and that’s when I decided I couldn’t take it anymore so I quit meds the hard way and spent 2 weekends hugging the toilet, freezing one minute, sweating the next, during my double 48 hour withdrawal periods. After that, it was smoothie time with max nutrients, which really turned the situation in a positive direction. I also had my mind back and could construct simple sentences again like “Feed me”. LOL It was quite the surprise sitting here at 4 months post and feeling no pain at all. It was something that I forgot about living in scoliosis pain for DECADES.

I also had feelings in ICU, and they were not positive.... I thought, “Why do I have to this?” and was a little rough on the male nurses....It was a STRONG emotion and I was very upset. Meds mess with the mind..................... I needed a psychologist at that point, and a grave fe-male nurse performed that function, even though I still had the same feelings after I got home. My ex played the girlfriend part in the movie “Midnight Express” where she is pleading with Brad Davis to “Get your act together” if you remember that movie....She didn’t finish me off, she saved my life actually. We all have to remember that we have lives to live down the road and that healing does happen, it does get better.

Doing it alone is harder because of the lack of psychological support. I feel that this is extremely important as you can see by my story. We can be prepared on a mental level before, but somehow forget or follow through with what it takes to stay on track. Dr Menmuir was concerned, and rejected me because he knew I was solo and that it takes a strong mind and WILL to follow through....Support is necessary, psychological support.

Positive attitude needs reinforcement. It just does. This takes priority over everything else.....

There is also a lot of value in having a recovered scoliosis patient doing this reinforcement....thoughts of ”You didn’t do this, Why should I believe you” are natural feelings.....