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View Full Version : The SECRETS to bowel control post surgery



susancook
04-20-2013, 06:46 PM
I am one month post surgery and took great care not to be constipated. I actually went over to the diarrhea side for 2 days. I am taking Dilaudid 6 MGM every 3 hours since I was discharged from the hospital. I cut back on some of my stool softening meds and am finally more regular...but I don't want to become constipated. My stool softening tools are: Colace, prunes, Miralax, and Senocot ( think that I spelled it incorrectly, the brown one).

I know that I will be gradually decreasing pain meds over time, but would like suggestion on how to manage the stool softening meds to keep from going one way or the other.

Thanks, Susan

titaniumed
04-20-2013, 10:39 PM
Susan

Bowel control is no secret around here. (smiley face) Itís an important part of recovery.

To be honest, I donít think I had any digestive balance for at least 60 days after quitting my meds. I also lost my gall bladder, this complicated matters.

I was tapering down meds, going to the bathroom everyday, and still had major constipation at 6 weeks.
In other words, the train was rolling, but not fast enough.....This was when I decided to quit since I built up an immunity to my meds and they were not working for pain.

After I quit, the pain dropped a few days later. I then started jamming nutrients through smoothies to gain my weight back. Healing was happening quickly at that stage.

Glad you are doing well Susan....

Hang in there

Ed

LindaRacine
04-21-2013, 01:05 AM
I stayed on colace and Senokot for the entire time I took narcotics. I went home with a prescription for lactulose, which I used to supplement the other medications whenever things started building up.

Irina
04-22-2013, 01:44 PM
An apple at bedtime (in addition to what everyone else said) seems to help me.

JenniferG
04-22-2013, 03:38 PM
Pear juice.

A funny story. I still had a large tin of pear juice in my fridge a year after surgery and one day my friend Carolyn came over to walk with me. It was very hot and we arrived back and the only cold drink in my fridge was the pear juice. We polished the lot off. It was delicious! I walked out to the road to wave her goodbye when I was struck with that urgency to get to the toilet. Then it clicked! I wondered how Carolyn's half hour drive home was going... Needless to say, she's never forgiven me. But we're still friends!

debbei
04-22-2013, 07:36 PM
I had to stop the stool softeners with a few days of coming home from the hospital for the same reason. I made sure that I ate all the fiber I could. I started every morning with a glass of prune juice on an empty stomach, I'd have high-fiber cereal for breakfast, and I remember eating homemade 5-bean salad that my mother always had on hand for me every day at lunch (love that stuff!) I had no problem at all with the narcotics eating this way. Oh, and I can't forget, a few times my mom made me stewed prunes (don't laugh, LOL) that I would eat with plain yogurt.

debbei
04-22-2013, 07:38 PM
Pear juice.

A funny story. I still had a large tin of pear juice in my fridge a year after surgery and one day my friend Carolyn came over to walk with me. It was very hot and we arrived back and the only cold drink in my fridge was the pear juice. We polished the lot off. It was delicious! I walked out to the road to wave her goodbye when I was struck with that urgency to get to the toilet. Then it clicked! I wondered how Carolyn's half hour drive home was going... Needless to say, she's never forgiven me. But we're still friends!

OMG Jen, that's so funny! Now that you mention it, I do remember pediatricians telling me to give my babies some pear juice when they were constipated. It always worked like a charm! Your poor friend!

susancook
04-22-2013, 10:47 PM
Pear juice.

A funny story. I still had a large tin of pear juice in my fridge a year after surgery and one day my friend Carolyn came over to walk with me. It was very hot and we arrived back and the only cold drink in my fridge was the pear juice. We polished the lot off. It was delicious! I walked out to the road to wave her goodbye when I was struck with that urgency to get to the toilet. Then it clicked! I wondered how Carolyn's half hour drive home was going... Needless to say, she's never forgiven me. But we're still friends!

Jenn, you have to clean out the refrigerator more often. Susan

JenniferG
04-22-2013, 10:54 PM
Debbei, when I was on narcotics, I alternated prune juice and pear juice. I went through many cans of it. It's nicer than prune juice and I think, just as effective. Prune juice warmed is nice and pear juice chilled. Not that I ever want to drink either again!

Susan, I hoped nobody would notice that part. <wink>

gardenia
04-23-2013, 12:52 PM
Well contradicting that prune juice is bad, I can sit and have 2-3 glasses because I just love the taste. However, I am very careful because it gives me gas (i.e. makes my tummy look larger than all the baby fat I am still carrying) and it makes noises.

I am about 5 months post op and been taking stool softener (Costco double pack deal) twice a day since the release from the hospital. Then, saw that the stool was coming a bit too soft so I cut it down to once a day. About a month ago, I had to take the Miralax twice. And, lately I have cut off the stool softner totally. I don't want to describe the sticky consistency but I am sure happy to have a bidet hose that my husband attached easily to the toilet hose.

The great thing about this hose (Amazon and other places) is that it reduces the twisting one needs to reach to clean-up. Instead of wiping yourself after using hte hose, you are just drying yourself (and sometimes the toilet seat if you spray the wrong way) Cold water does not shock your body at all and it beats using a lot more tp or having to wash your underwear.

It is great for women - trust me as it is a long cord. My husband wants a japanese toilet seat with heat and warm water. I asked if there is a brush that comes with it too because it has a blower - Just like a car wash. No, I nicked that toy.

You will find you level of tolerance if you constipate then go a bit the other way. Another tip is to get some panty liners and place them way back. It helps with small accidents.

gardenia

susancook
04-23-2013, 04:43 PM
Well contradicting that prune juice is bad, I can sit and have 2-3 glasses because I just love the taste. However, I am very careful because it gives me gas (i.e. makes my tummy look larger than all the baby fat I am still carrying) and it makes noises.

I am about 5 months post op and been taking stool softener (Costco double pack deal) twice a day since the release from the hospital. Then, saw that the stool was coming a bit too soft so I cut it down to once a day. About a month ago, I had to take the Miralax twice. And, lately I have cut off the stool softner totally. I don't want to describe the sticky consistency but I am sure happy to have a bidet hose that my husband attached easily to the toilet hose.

The great thing about this hose (Amazon and other places) is that it reduces the twisting one needs to reach to clean-up. Instead of wiping yourself after using hte hose, you are just drying yourself (and sometimes the toilet seat if you spray the wrong way) Cold water does not shock your body at all and it beats using a lot more tp or having to wash your underwear.

It is great for women - trust me as it is a long cord. My husband wants a japanese toilet seat with heat and warm water. I asked if there is a brush that comes with it too because it has a blower - Just like a car wash. No, I nicked that toy.

You will find you level of tolerance if you constipate then go a bit the other way. Another tip is to get some panty liners and place them way back. It helps with small accidents.

gardenia

What's a Costco double pack?
Great suggestions! We may actually buy the Japanese bidet,brash, dry model. Susan

mabeckoff
04-23-2013, 05:38 PM
I cannot wait until we get into the new house. I will have a bidet

susancook
04-23-2013, 06:57 PM
Debbei, when I was on narcotics, I alternated prune juice and pear juice. I went through many cans of it. It's nicer than prune juice and I think, just as effective. Prune juice warmed is nice and pear juice chilled. Not that I ever want to drink either again!

Susan, I hoped nobody would notice that part. <wink>

Jen: funny story: my daughter was in middle school and came to me crying one night. She said that she had not done her science homework which was assigned 2 months before. She was supposed to put some juicy food in the back of the refrigerator and then a couple of months later, kids were supposed to bring in the old, decaying food and they were going to Look at the yeasts and mold under a microscope. I said, "no problem". We looked in the back of the refrigerator and there was some Tupperware that had some furry stuff growing on a food that could not be identified. I think that she got an A on that project!
Susan...from then on we talked about the "science projects" in the refrigerator

golfnut
04-23-2013, 07:15 PM
You girls are making me laugh. I'm glad this forum has a lighter side to it at times!

susancook
04-23-2013, 09:30 PM
Glad that this is entertaining. Sometimes you just need to get down to the basics.
Thanks for your suggestions, everyone.

So, if you are squeemish about poo details, read no more cause i'm going to get graphic.

Glad to report that my urinary incontinence seems to be cured with time. I was wearing Sanitary pads and changing them many times a day.

Gardenia, thanks for the poop details. I was trying to figure out which of all of my treatments to prevent constipation caused farts and sticky poo. It's the prunes, huh? Bummer....I'll cut back on them. The Miralax also caused sticky poo and some diarrhea....not so much diarrhea but just little soft poos that came out every hour. Talk about a major wiping job! For the sticky ppos, I use those wet baby wipes on that extension stick. The wipes clog up the toilet, so I need to put them in the garbage. Stinky mess.

The Japanese toilet actually seems like a great deal. A friend of mine has one. It is expensive, but had a heated seat, warm spray, warm or cold air dry off. Forget toilet paper!

Jennifer, thanks for the pear juice details. I will buy some and give it a try.

Probably everyone is different, but it was helpful to me to learn other people's experience....if not entertaining.

I'll read up on Lactalose. Might be another bit of arsenal in my constipation tool box.

Yours in improving toilet habits, Susan

mabeckoff
04-23-2013, 10:46 PM
They have flusable wipes .

AMom
04-24-2013, 12:01 AM
My youngest was having some problems a while ago and the doctor gave her these two, almost identical, lists in addition to the pills prescribed. (He told me the daily fruits I had been serving most often were not high in sorbitol.) We also added a smoothie snack every afternoon. He said the list is presented in decreasing amount of sorbitol order so if she chose items at the bottom of the list to give more frequent or larger servings. There was one other fruit on the list, but I canít even guess begin to decipher what he wrote. Good luck!

A Mom

JUICES:
Prune juice
Plum S?
Pear nectar
Apricot nectar
Cherry juice
Apple juice
FRUITS:
Prunes
Plums
Peaches
Pears
Apricots
Cherries
Pluots
Red grapes
Blueberries

golfnut
04-24-2013, 07:14 AM
I know that attempting to get regular is by no means a laughing matter and apologize, Susan, if you misinterpreted my post. It was by far my biggest and most painful challenge during recovery and I didn't mean to imply that it was not serious. To have a bowel movement or not put me on a daily rollercoaster of emotions. I'd either come out of the bathroom ready to do a cheer or with my head hanging that I had no success. When I said you made me laugh, I was referring to some of the stories people told science projects, etc. My abdomen pain and failure to have regular bowel movements had me emotionally distraught so I know how serious this is. My back pains were minor compared to abdomen pain. I bounced back and forth from taking too many laxatives and stool softeners and eating high fiber foods to not doing enough. I even managed to get hemorrhoids, which was definitely not pleasant. When I got off the strongest pain meds, everything improved. I took stool softeners for a long time afterwards, but was able to drop the laxatives. I drank hot plum juice, which I enjoyed more than prune juice, and did so for many months. I know I got the suggestion on the forum. Be encouraged to know that eventually, this will be behind you (well, you know what I mean)

susancook
04-24-2013, 01:23 PM
I know that attempting to get regular is by no means a laughing matter and apologize, Susan, if you misinterpreted my post. It was by far my biggest and most painful challenge during recovery and I didn't mean to imply that it was not serious. To have a bowel movement or not put me on a daily rollercoaster of emotions. I'd either come out of the bathroom ready to do a cheer or with my head hanging that I had no success. When I said you made me laugh, I was referring to some of the stories people told science projects, etc. My abdomen pain and failure to have regular bowel movements had me emotionally distraught so I know how serious this is. My back pains were minor compared to abdomen pain. I bounced back and forth from taking too many laxatives and stool softeners and eating high fiber foods to not doing enough. I even managed to get hemorrhoids, which was definitely not pleasant. When I got off the strongest pain meds, everything improved. I took stool softeners for a long time afterwards, but was able to drop the laxatives. I drank hot plum juice, which I enjoyed more than prune juice, and did so for many months. I know I got the suggestion on the forum. Be encouraged to know that eventually, this will be behind you (well, you know what I mean)

Karen: on the contrary, I think this whole bowel and bladder hygiene is very funny and I thought that your comment was great. When I first went to Walgreens to look at the hygiene stick, I started to laugh in the aisle trying to imagine how I would possibly use it (and just get poo on the paper and not on the magic stick). Now I use some salad tongs that the hospital gave me. My husband hopes that we don't mix it up with the ones in the kitchen.

Laugh on Karen, and we will get through this! Thanks for your help. It is a group project.
Susan

susancook
04-24-2013, 01:24 PM
My youngest was having some problems a while ago and the doctor gave her these two, almost identical, lists in addition to the pills prescribed. (He told me the daily fruits I had been serving most often were not high in sorbitol.) We also added a smoothie snack every afternoon. He said the list is presented in decreasing amount of sorbitol order so if she chose items at the bottom of the list to give more frequent or larger servings. There was one other fruit on the list, but I canít even guess begin to decipher what he wrote. Good luck!

A Mom

JUICES:
Prune juice
Plum S?
Pear nectar
Apricot nectar
Cherry juice
Apple juice
FRUITS:
Prunes
Plums
Peaches
Pears
Apricots
Cherries
Pluots
Red grapes
Blueberries

Thanks
Susan

maggie6
04-24-2013, 09:04 PM
I too am having problems with constipation. I had a good laugh reading all your comments and will also try some of your suggestions. I am now at almost nine weeks post op and am wondering how long this problem last.

susancook
04-28-2013, 10:31 PM
I stayed on colace and Senokot for the entire time I took narcotics. I went home with a prescription for lactulose, which I used to supplement the other medications whenever things started building up.

Linda, how much Colace and Senokot did you take every day?

gardenia
04-29-2013, 11:50 AM
Twisting to wipe is a hard thing to do.

Those extra long thongs they gave us at hospital does not clean clean.

disposable wipes are good but you still twist and reach to wipe.

The hose + a wipe might be best if you flush - we have a septic tank here in the desert so I am careful what goes in.

After hosing, it gives you the cleanest feeling ever or have a glass of water next to you for same purpose.

gardenia

susancook
04-29-2013, 07:24 PM
Twisting to wipe is a hard thing to do.

Those extra long thongs they gave us at hospital does not clean clean.

disposable wipes are good but you still twist and reach to wipe.

The hose + a wipe might be best if you flush - we have a septic tank here in the desert so I am careful what goes in.

After hosing, it gives you the cleanest feeling ever or have a glass of water next to you for same purpose.

gardenia

I love you, Gardenia because you cut to the quick and give graphic explanation of exactly what works well.
When I was using the Miralax, my poos were soft and sticky, so I used multiple wet wipes multiple times to clean up. Stopped the Miralax, can't remember who suggested the correlation of poo consistency and Miralax but I thank you very much, so am using much fewer wet wipes. My son lives in an old house in Oakland, and I was unsure how the plumbing would handle wet wipes even flush able ones. We have septic tank at Washington home, no flushing wet wipes there either.
I will try the hose when we get back home....maybe even purchase the deluxe seat warmer and butt
Air blower.
It is interesting to me that they have phenomenal research studies on the complexities of spinal surgery, yet little to no research on postop bowel problems.

What do you do when you are away from home and needed to do your daily poo and did not bring your extender stick? I planned on using a bathroom that had single toilet so my husband could help me if I needed to do my daily poo (I can reach the urine wipe with very minimal bending)...but where we were was just a busy female bathroom with 4 stalls. I managed to hold it until we got home, but it was difficult. Suggestions?
Susan, you advocate for better excretion hygiene ;+}

susancook
05-03-2013, 03:38 PM
I went grocery shopping with my daughter at one of those fancy stores. I was at checkout and suddenly had horrible lower abdominal pain and knew that I needed to get to a toilet quickly! Of course, the cashier was taking his sweet time going through the few items that we had while I was tightening every butt muscle that I had. My granddaughter asked me what was wrong as I was making some horrible faces. I paid quickly and left the cart with my granddaughter, but didn't have my reacher for butt hygiene which was in the car. Fortunately, my daughter assisted with the hygiene, but I worry about being alone in such a situation. Should I carry a roll around suitcase with all of my supplies just in case?

I am beginning to hate asking for help. I am impatient. I drop a pill on the floor and cannot pick it up. It's the little things that are bugging me. I want my new life immediately! I worry about running out of pain pills since the NP did not mail me a new prescription. Now I need to stretch out my pills, take sleeping pills, pray for less pain.....

Whine, whine, whine....

Susan

mabeckoff
05-03-2013, 04:21 PM
I went grocery shopping with my daughter at one of those fancy stores. I was at checkout and suddenly had horrible lower abdominal pain and knew that I needed to get to a toilet quickly! Of course, the cashier was taking his sweet time going through the few items that we had while I was tightening every butt muscle that I had. My granddaughter asked me what was wrong as I was making some horrible faces. I paid quickly and left the cart with my granddaughter, but didn't have my reacher for butt hygiene which was in the car. Fortunately, my daughter assisted with the hygiene, but I worry about being alone in such a situation. Should I carry a roll around suitcase with all of my supplies just in case?

I am beginning to hate asking for help. I am impatient. I drop a pill on the floor and cannot pick it up. It's the little things that are bugging me. I want my new life immediately! I worry about running out of pain pills since the NP did not mail me a new prescription. Now I need to stretch out my pills, take sleeping pills, pray for less pain.....

Whine, whine, whine....

Susan

I carry a smaller version of the tongs when I leave the house

Irina
05-03-2013, 05:01 PM
I went grocery shopping with my daughter at one of those fancy stores. I was at checkout and suddenly had horrible lower abdominal pain and knew that I needed to get to a toilet quickly! Of course, the cashier was taking his sweet time going through the few items that we had while I was tightening every butt muscle that I had. My granddaughter asked me what was wrong as I was making some horrible faces. I paid quickly and left the cart with my granddaughter, but didn't have my reacher for butt hygiene which was in the car. Fortunately, my daughter assisted with the hygiene, but I worry about being alone in such a situation. Should I carry a roll around suitcase with all of my supplies just in case?

I am beginning to hate asking for help. I am impatient. I drop a pill on the floor and cannot pick it up. It's the little things that are bugging me. I want my new life immediately! I worry about running out of pain pills since the NP did not mail me a new prescription. Now I need to stretch out my pills, take sleeping pills, pray for less pain.....

Whine, whine, whine....

Susan

Call Sharon and remind her to mail a script. She mailed mine promptly, may be yours was lost in the mail or sent to the wrong address? I hope you'll get your pain medicine prescription soon! I know what you mean about worrying about running out of these pills...

I also recommend this version of the grabber:

http://www.amazon.com/Carex-Inch-Grabber-Reaching-Aid/dp/B000AEGCW6/ref=sr_1_4?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1367618563&sr=1-4&keywords=grabber

It is very good for picking up round shape items and paper. I keep it in the kitchen and use it to pick potatoes and cans from the bottom of my pantry. You can also use it pick up cans from the top shelves. The type that we've got at UCSF is good for dressing up, but this reacher above is very useful in the kitchen.

Confusedmom
05-03-2013, 08:44 PM
You can also get grabbers that actually fold down to about 12 inches. Carry them in a large (light obviously) purse when you got out. Along with the tongs (in a ziplock bag). Before you know it you will be able too squat to get something you dropped (but I think that's restricted for at least 4 months).

gardenia
05-04-2013, 11:50 AM
Are you taking too much laxative or stool softener? It got to a point that I had to stop taking the stool soft because it made a product in a consistency of heavy sticky glue. Hard to clean.

Husband has been on a diet and feeding much more vegetables so I am regular for the first time in my life.

However, he lost 25 pounds and I am at the same. The baby fat is not moving anywhere. (wish it would be directly up or directly back so when sitting long my bones are not so hurting)

Wear a Depend on days that you might think something will happen...

Susie*Bee
05-04-2013, 06:57 PM
I'm thinking back-- first, I never used tongs--just the very tips of my fingers and it was quite a stretch. Some things I found/find very annoying when having to use handicap stalls are: some toilets are not elevated, some have the toilet paper so that you can't reach it without twisting (I learned to check it out first and get it before hand if needed), and I figured whoever designed them had no idea about what real problems people have-- that all you need to do is install a grab bar. Back to your basic question, though. I found for myself that it was easier (after wiping the "wet") to step away from the toilet seat and squat "just a little" without the toilet being in the way, and then wipe. That may not work with you but it helped me. And I had to forego all the rules we were brought up on about which direction to wipe from... no twisting allowed, so no wiping f to b. One of the things that always worried me was what if I dropped the TP on the floor! Fortunately I didn't.

I'm sorry you are having these difficulties! Hopefully you will outgrow them soon.

hasteffen
05-04-2013, 08:15 PM
Wiping after a bowel movement is the hardest thing for me to do well (besides sex). I used the tongs until about 6 weeks post op and then moved to flushable wet wipes. There is no way I can wipe front to back unless standing and squatting, which I was able to do at about 10-12 weeks post op. Now, at 7 months the easiest way for me to clean myself is to stand up and face the back of the toilet and lift my right leg onto the toilet seat. I then proceed to wipe with flushable toilet paper.
Hope this helps...
Happy wiping,
Heidi

gardenia
05-05-2013, 04:03 PM
You must try the bidet hose. Can buy it thru Amazon and very easy to install. My husband attached the hose holde to the wall next to the toilet seat. Nothing cleans better than a shot or shots of water directed to the right place. Front and back with no problem. then wipe dry.

Silly that no one tried my suggestion.

susancook
05-06-2013, 06:21 PM
Wiping after a bowel movement is the hardest thing for me to do well (besides sex). I used the tongs until about 6 weeks post op and then moved to flushable wet wipes. There is no way I can wipe front to back unless standing and squatting, which I was able to do at about 10-12 weeks post op. Now, at 7 months the easiest way for me to clean myself is to stand up and face the back of the toilet and lift my right leg onto the toilet seat. I then proceed to wipe with flushable toilet paper.
Hope this helps...
Happy wiping,
Heidi

Thanks for the very explicit directions. I need that! I will send you a PM about sex....seems to be a challenge for us.
Susan

susancook
05-06-2013, 06:28 PM
You must try the bidet hose. Can buy it thru Amazon and very easy to install. My husband attached the hose holde to the wall next to the toilet seat. Nothing cleans better than a shot or shots of water directed to the right place. Front and back with no problem. then wipe dry.

Silly that no one tried my suggestion.

I will look into it. Let me see what the plumbing looks like. Susan

Confusedmom
05-06-2013, 07:46 PM
Please don't keep the sex talk private! I'm sure all of us S1 folks need all the help we can get. ;-)

My take was spooning is easiest in early days. After a year other basics work. We did joke that if we were going to follow Dr. Lenke's instructions ("person who had surgery supported by the mattress, but shouldnt bear any weight, either) we were going to have to suspend my husband from the ceiling!

Evelyn

mabeckoff
05-06-2013, 11:52 PM
Please don't keep the sex talk private! I'm sure all of us S1 folks need all the help we can get. ;-)

My take was spooning is easiest in early days. After a year other basics work. We did joke that if we were going to follow Dr. Lenke's instructions ("person who had surgery supported by the mattress, but shouldnt bear any weight, either) we were going to have to suspend my husband from the ceiling!

Evelyn

I agree with Evelyn. Let us all get some helpful information

susancook
05-07-2013, 01:38 AM
Irina started a blog before her surgery asking the basics about how and what to do and it seemed that we didn't get any specifics on actually how to have sex. Now I am 8 weeks out and am afraid to hurt my back and my husband feels my anxiety. We have been married for 41 years and have had a great sex life together and now we are not sure what to do. My back hurts when the brace is off and Lord knows we can't have sex with me wearing that thing.
Susan
PS....it is somewhat humorous that we ended up having the conversation about sex under the title of bowel habits. Good grief!

Susie*Bee
05-07-2013, 05:24 AM
I think there are older posts, maybe under "intimacy"... I don't remember right now. But they get into the nitty gritty.

hasteffen
05-07-2013, 07:14 PM
I have no tips in the sex department... my poor husband would say this is definitely the down side to the surgery. For me, It takes an extreme amount of work to climax and moving with him is extremely awkward. We manage, but our great sex life has turned into just taking care of business :(
The easiest way for me (to please him) is to scoot to the edge of the bed and he is standing. It takes his weight and pressure off of me but it's not like I move very well with him in this position...
me on top works, but I find it difficult and awkward to get into a groove that feels natural and comfortable and I can't keep going long enough to please him...it is way too much work! (BLUSHING HERE)

maybe we need to try a swing or something... ;)
Best,
Heidi

Irina
05-07-2013, 09:35 PM
I have no tips in the sex department... my poor husband would say this is definitely the down side to the surgery. For me, It takes an extreme amount of work to climax and moving with him is extremely awkward. We manage, but our great sex life has turned into just taking care of business :(
The easiest way for me (to please him) is to scoot to the edge of the bed and he is standing. It takes his weight and pressure off of me but it's not like I move very well with him in this position...
me on top works, but I find it difficult and awkward to get into a groove that feels natural and comfortable and I can't keep going long enough to please him...it is way too much work! (BLUSHING HERE)

maybe we need to try a swing or something... ;)
Best,
Heidi

No swinging from a chandelier, Heidi :-) But seriously, thanks for the tips.

Confusedmom
05-07-2013, 10:22 PM
Heidi,
I have the same problem. Pre-surgery it worked better with me on top, but now that just strains my lower back/hip area too much. It is okay with him on top if he keeps most of his weight in his arms. However, I can't really move then. So basically we're left with pleasing him and pleasing me separately. I haven't gotten really adventurous yet, though. Perhaps some nontraditional positions would work better. Do they have occupational therapy for this?! ;-)

Evelyn

susancook
05-08-2013, 01:32 AM
I have no tips in the sex department... my poor husband would say this is definitely the down side to the surgery. For me, It takes an extreme amount of work to climax and moving with him is extremely awkward. We manage, but our great sex life has turned into just taking care of business :(
The easiest way for me (to please him) is to scoot to the edge of the bed and he is standing. It takes his weight and pressure off of me but it's not like I move very well with him in this position...
me on top works, but I find it difficult and awkward to get into a groove that feels natural and comfortable and I can't keep going long enough to please him...it is way too much work! (BLUSHING HERE)

maybe we need to try a swing or something... ;)
Best,
Heidi

Thanks for the suggestion about being on the edge of the bed. I am thinking that that just might work...for him at least. One out of 2 isn't bad. We are both so worried about hurting my back. If we could just figure out something with my brace on....now that would be funny even if we were gymnasts! Somehow I am having problems figuring out positions where I do not stress my back. I am also worried that in the heat of the moment, that one of us would forget about my back and I would twist or turn. The only recommendation from my doctor is for me to be in a "dependent position". That's not much help. The first surgeon that I saw, I asked about how couples have sex after surgery and his comment was," they just do". Not too helpful. Susan

susancook
05-08-2013, 01:34 AM
Heidi,
I have the same problem. Pre-surgery it worked better with me on top, but now that just strains my lower back/hip area too much. It is okay with him on top if he keeps most of his weight in his arms. However, I can't really move then. So basically we're left with pleasing him and pleasing me separately. I haven't gotten really adventurous yet, though. Perhaps some nontraditional positions would work better. Do they have occupational therapy for this?! ;-)

Evelyn

Maybe we could look at the book on Kama Sutra? Susan

Susie*Bee
05-08-2013, 05:34 AM
Again, I don't know if there is something in this thread that might give you ideas: http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/showthread.php?3750-Intimacy&highlight=intimacy

susancook
05-09-2013, 02:31 PM
I am sure that you guys think that I am stuck on poo and sex, but I really do have a life.
Question: which pill gives smelly farts? It is really embarrassing. Possible culprits might ferrous gluconate, colace, senna.
Suggestions?
Susan

Susie*Bee
05-09-2013, 03:46 PM
Susan-- I don't know, but you have certainly added a lot of entertainment to the forum. And I hope you find out. It is embarrassing... I've had certain times when I've had gas problems-- the iron supplements sure did that number on me, prior to the surgery-- at work, around my family. It was terrible. Best wishes, and keep up with the good questions.

susancook
05-09-2013, 05:08 PM
After much forethought which is kind of like foreplay, we finally had intimacy, alias sex. Thanks to someone off line, we figured out a position of comfort,safety for my back, yet it works. Since there are probably others who are in my situation of both partners being afraid of intimacy, I will gladly describe a position that worked for his benefit (we are still working on my pleasure, but that's another story. I started out lying on back, but that only lasted 2 minutes due to pain. So, I tried a side position and put a pillow behind my back and laid back, so sort of side/back lying. Then my husband kind of got at an opposite angle with his knee on my abdomen sort of bent. He did initially straight, but that was too much weight on my abdomen chest. He did all of the work and there was no kissing in this position, but it worked. Also, I could not touch him sexually during sex , although we did that in foreplay. I remember having both legs bent. I hope that this was helpful. I am sorry if I could not exactly remember the exact position, but I was focusing on intimacy while trying to take notes.
Susan
I will look up the word "intimacy" for other suggestion, especially from people that can better describe positions.

JenniferG
05-09-2013, 06:04 PM
I know it wasn't meant for hilarity but this thread has given me some good laughs! I'm sorry I have no advice. I didn't seem to have these problems but then, I didn't even think about sex for, not sure now, must have been months!

susancook
05-09-2013, 07:51 PM
I know it wasn't meant for hilarity but this thread has given me some good laughs! I'm sorry I have no advice. I didn't seem to have these problems but then, I didn't even think about sex for, not sure now, must have been months!

Good laughs would have been if I had included pictures with my step by step description! Two senior citizens going at it!
Susan

tae_tap
05-09-2013, 08:35 PM
Stop! Stop! I think I just peed my pants from laughter! It is a topic that we all deal with no matter the levels of fusion. But only on here can we truly be open and understand (no matter the age) the true struggle with intimacy and laugh at ourselves. Thanks guys and Susan for the added tips.

(Big smiles!!!)
Tamena

Irina
05-09-2013, 09:07 PM
Good laughs would have been if I had included pictures with my step by step description! Two senior citizens going at it!
Susan

Susan, you crack me up!!! It's like comedy central here :-)

susancook
05-10-2013, 02:29 AM
I have not learned to post pictures yet, thus nobody has seen my hardware or ugly prep pictures. Some day I will go to a senior citizen class and learn to post pictures. Then the laughs will really begin!
Susan

loves to skate
05-11-2013, 10:42 AM
Susan,
Are you a milk drinker. I am lactose intolerant and since I stopped drinking milk with the exception of lactaid milk, I no longer have smelly farts.
Sally

susancook
05-12-2013, 04:05 PM
Susan,
Are you a milk drinker. I am lactose intolerant and since I stopped drinking milk with the exception of lactaid milk, I no longer have smelly farts.
Sally

That's an idea, but I did not have this problem on a multi daily event basis until the surgery and all of the meds.
Susan

susancook
05-26-2013, 02:48 AM
My PT gave me a handout on intimacy [alias sex, but sounds most sophisticated], and back pain. It shows very explicit pictures and has text with information. It was from a manual that he had. So, if anyone wants a copy, I will mail it to you [send me a PM].
Susan

PeggyS
11-22-2014, 02:16 PM
Ah-ha . . . I KNEW there was a thread on poo! I've added pear juice, colace, & grape nuts cereal to my grocery list. I already do stool softeners & miralax, but need more help!

tae_tap
11-22-2014, 02:20 PM
Mag citrate will do wonders.

PeggyS
11-22-2014, 02:59 PM
Mag citrate will do wonders.

I hope to avoid using that ever, again! Of course, I mixed it with 2 T Milk of Magnesia & 1 T of mineral oil. That was the cocktail my husband's dr recommended b/f surgery. Maybe by itself . . .

How are you Tamena?

JenniferG
11-22-2014, 06:55 PM
If you're going to go the fruit juice route, warm some prune juice and alternate warm prune with chilled pear. If you want to bring in the big guns (as I needed, after 9 days) try Nulax. It worked in 3 hours for me. A little too well, but that's another story.

http://www.nu-lax.com/leaflet/leaflet1.htm

tae_tap
11-22-2014, 07:32 PM
I hope to avoid using that ever, again! Of course, I mixed it with 2 T Milk of Magnesia & 1 T of mineral oil. That was the cocktail my husband's dr recommended b/f surgery. Maybe by itself . . .

How are you Tamena?

Hey Peg! For the most part I am doing good. I did have an iv blow so I'm dealing with the pain and inflamation in my right hand/wrist. But it is slowly getting better.

I am drowsy off and on. In fact I think I dosed off trying to write right now. Will write more later.

Tamena