I am having surgery in June

[scared4surgery]

I am having surgery in June and I am scared. my lower back is 50 degrees and my upper one is 36. I have never been to surgery and I wore the brace 4 about 4 yrs. I just need help!!!

[spincon58]

Hi,
All I can tell you is to read everything in this sight...and hopefully your fears will get less...surgery is a very scaring process and quite painful , but many have gone thru it with flying colors...so read and learn everything U can..

[carpqueen]

scared4-

Try and focus on something positive about the surgery, about what you will do for the summer. For instance, be grateful that you are finally coming to the end of years of wearing the brace. You are going to have the surgery, which is resolve.

I am 49 years old and had my surgery in 1976 when I was 20. I remember one of the best thoughts for my psychological well being was that something was finally being done and that I could be free of worry and wonder...it's resolve.

Yes, it is scary. No, you have no control over what happens. But you do have control over what you make of the experience, how you react & think.

And you'll be fine! Jeez, only 1% of what we fear or worry about every happens. No sense in wasting mental energy on what ifs- Besides, you'll meet new people and make new friends---

PLUS, you are going to find out underneath, you are strong, you can do it. And that's a great survivor lesson to learn at 17! You'll get alot of mileage in life out of this.

Jan

You can only lose what you cling to. -Buddha

[lrmb]

Hi!

I ended up postponing surgery for a few years, but I spent so much time stressing out about it and making plans... something that might be useful would be to get a relaxation tape or take a meditation class. After I had done it a few times it would really help me relax and I could also get my body to relax almost on demand. It might also help you while you are in the hospital.

I definitely liked the idea of planning something to look forward to for a few months after the surgery, maybe a short trip or plan to treat yourself to something special. Visualize how great your "new" back will eventually look after the surgery! It might also help to make some lists of movies or old TV series you want to watch and make sure you have them ready for when you come home to help pass the time.

Well, these are just some practical suggestions. Take care and let us know how you are doing. ~Laura

[scared4surgery]

See but I have a bad experience my friend just went and because the machine messed up they stopped the oxygen and she couldn't breathe for 10 min. I just don't kow what to think.

[jstern]

scared4,

i had a 52 degree curve in my upper back and had surgery in august of 1996 and needed a second surgery in december of 1996. i have four rods and i'm fused from t-1 through l-2. enough with my statistics.

take what carpqueen wrote to heart - that was sage advice.

hopefully my "two cents" will provide some help. first, don't let this experience allow you to "get down" on yourself. the true mark of a person's character is not how they act when life is normal, it is how they act when life gets tough. you are gaining experience and perspective that one, most people your age don't have, and two, most people much older than you will never get. you should take it upon yourself to be as tough as possible. i remember when i was in the hospital the first time and they told me that i would have to stay at least two more days (i had already been there for 4 days) because i needed to be able to walk up some steps and around the nurses station before they could release me. i told the nurse to bring a couple more nurses into the room to help me stand up (i'm a pretty big guy - they needed four nurses to help me stand and get out of the bed) and right then and there i walked around the nurses station and up a flight of steps.

i learned something valuable from that day - pain is a state of mind, you either accept it and allow it to serve as fuel for your brain, or you feel sorry for yourself and you will end up on a "slippery slope" of making yourself a victim for the rest of your life. take this as a challenge to who you are, and promise yourself that you won't be beaten. wake up everyday look in the mirror and tell yourself that you won't be beaten - the positive state of mind will pay dividends down the road - not just in dealing with this surgery, but in dealing with the rest of your life, after this, life becomes easy. you will find yourself listening to guys/girls your age complain about their "problems" and you'll laugh at how clueless they are.

remember the most important and effective weapon you have to fight through this experience is your mind. be positive, stay headstrong and tell yourself you can't be beaten everyday until you truly believe it, and then you will have overcome. one day you will be in my position, looking back fondly upon a unique and tough experience that molded the strong character you will have gained. best of luck - my thoughts are with you. please feel free to e-mail me anytime if you have any questions about the "nitty-gritty" details or if you just want to talk to someone who truly knows what you're going through. my e-mail address is: jstern05@gmail.com

-jeff

p.s.- smile, you're going to get through this.

[carpqueen]

scared-

Okay, someone you know had something unfortunate happen during surgery. That doesn't mean it will happen to you. We choose to feel hyper 'alert' or just emotionally sensitive in our reactions to others.

I won't say that there aren't risks in surgery---there are. However, they are a very small percentage when you look at the numbers of surgeries happening everyday.

This is true of injuries and accidents. I _could_ go to the grocery store and be injuried---but that won't persuade me to not shop at the store. {Besides- I need to feed the family}

The same for childbirth. Even though we know there are babies born with birth defects, complications from birth- does it make sense to forego having a child because of that fear?

Had prenatal detection been more advanced in the 50's, would my mother thought twice about having me had she known scoliosis was evident for me? I'm glad I am here.

If you focus on the risks, then you will be prone to feel more intensely afraid of surgery.

Your mind is a thought tank. You are what you think. This is so true. You can choose to think positive or negative.

I think one of the best examples of half full/or half empty is of a dining room just after a major dinner was served. There were dirty dishes + glasses everywhere---the table cloth and napkins strewn everywhere.

Would your reaction be 'what a mess to clean up!' 'wow! Looks like everyone had fun here!' ???

What I am trying to say is protect your mental energy. Using it to think positively changes everything. Especially when you think about today- just today. Worrying about the bad things that could happen- in the future is really unhealthy...you rob yourself of being in today- and you lean the attitude of your mind to negative.

Have you ever read Sue Patton Thoelle? The Women's Book of Courage is an excellent self empowerment/meditation book.

This is a major surgery. It is a life changing event.

It is also a chance to change, learn, adapt, and to discover. Besides coming out with a new taller body, you'll get to know more about yourself through the experience. I'm sure you have a competent medical team, a supportive loving family- with equally loving friends to stay with you. It's all good. "Blink" and the summer + surgery will be over.

Try some mental conditioning going! - jump and the safety net will appear!

carpqueen

You can only lose what you cling to. -Buddha

[carpqueen]

Right on Jeff!

In the years since my surgery, I think I have handled life's challenges with more moxie.
'unique and tough experience that molded the strong character you will have gained' Yes.

carpqueen

[roxie]

all i can tell you is this i am having surgery and what made me have peace is reading the bible you should too

[ScolioGirl]

Same here!

I'm most likely going to get surgery too and I'm pretty nervous about it. It just seems like such a major surgery. I had my adenoids removed when I was seven, but that's nothing compared to this. I just don't know what to think. To feel more relaxed about the whole thing, I'm finding out as much as I can about it and looking at all these other people who have gone through it. If they can do it, we can too.

[carolnj]

scared4surgery, you have been given great advice and I have benefited from what others have written as well. (Hi Jeff!)

My son is having surgery June 22 and I have to guard myself from getting caught up in the "what ifs." I think its natural but use that mental energy imagining a good outcome, imagining a nice, straight spine and a few more inches in height maybe. :-)) My son is 6'2" so I am imaging him being able to reach even higher shelves for me than he does now. (I'm 5'2").

Anyway, hang in there, focus on the positive side and before you know it, this will be behind you.