Plan B. Scatter and panic

Most days I can keep with plan A. Focused and understand the surgery will be fine and recovery will be smooth. Told my employer today that I need surgery - we will see how that goes. Had my first pre-surgery appointment. Surgery is october 24 and the closer it gets the more I seem to slip into plan B. Is the silent panic somewhat normal?

[Elisa]

I think it's very normal to have anxious moments leading up to surgery. At least that's what I gather from reading lots of posts from others who are about to go through surgery. It was a little different for me b/c it was my son who was going to have to have surgery, not me but I still got somewhat panicky and overwhelmed with everything. Waiting was the hardest part for me and actually when the day came for his first surgery, I was as cool as a cucumber b/c I knew it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do actually. It sounds as though you are confident that you are making the right decision and I'm sure you'll keep swinging back and forth at times up until the date arrives but you have to keep reminding yourself why you are having this surgery in the first place. I know, easier said than done but like I said, waiting is THE hardest part it seems.

[mabeckoff]

Most days I can keep with plan A. Focused and understand the surgery will be fine and recovery will be smooth. Told my employer today that I need surgery - we will see how that goes. Had my first pre-surgery appointment. Surgery is october 24 and the closer it gets the more I seem to slip into plan B. Is the silent panic somewhat normal?

This seems to be the way most of us go . By the last couple of days, a peace and calmness come over you and you know that what you are doing is the correct
way to go.

[golfnut]

Elisa is absolutely right that the waiting is the most difficult time (at least for me, it was). My husband and I were returning from a vacation when I got the call with my schedule for all of the pre-op tests. I thought, OMG, am I really doing this? It is normal to be fearful, but I think you just have to trust that you are doing the right thing and that you will do fine.

[Elisa]

I was so back and forth about my son's surgery that when I joined this forum last November, I wanted the admin to change my handle to "Pendulum", haha!

As the months went by though and my son's spine got crazier and crazier and he was in obvious pain, I knew that it wasn't about whether he was going to have surgery but when.

[JenniferG]

Perfectly normal. I'm another who found the waiting to be by far the hardest part of the whole journey. I hope you find that last minute calm and acceptance that Melissa mentioned. Many of us do. Good luck over the coming few weeks!

[mabeckoff]

Keep on asking questions here and with the knowledge you gain you will feel more calm and comfortable.

Have you read the scoliosis book?

[Lilysaidwhat]

I was scared sh*tless even at the hospital as they were loading me up with anesthesia. I am six months post-op and it wasn't until 2 weeks ago after we went to Colbert Report (front row center!) that I finally said that I was glad I had the surgery. If I had not had it, I wouldn't have been able to go to work all day, then stand on line for 2 hours, sit for 1.5 hrs, then walk to dinner and then take a train back home. The surgery has markedly improved my life in the amount that I can do, and I didn't realize how bad off I was until after I started to recover.

You'll be okay. Do what you need to do to get through between now and then.

[djkinkead]

Yes, occasional panic attacks were definately happening to me on and off the last four weeks before the surgery.

Like Jennifer, I was more calm the last week--but I feel mine was from LOTS of praying and putting trust in God--who does control all things.

I do remember last minute jitters as I was prepped for the operations, but I knew I had to do this because I would like to live beyond like 68 years old which might not have been a possibility without the surgery and how much my spine was curving and starting to rotate.

Will say prayers for you.

[scooter950]

pre-op jitters

I'm with you, the nerves have a life of their own, you're focused on preparing for surgery then you lay awake in bed thinking "what if.." how will I ever know if this is the right decision? <gulp> well, I'm livign with pain now, so I figure I will live with pain after the surgery too. Perhaps I'll have a greater activity tolerance. But I'm moving forward with my decision, too., altho I do have sleepless night with silent tears soaking my pillow.

My neck fusion is set for nov 8th, trying to move it to Nov 15th so that I will be off work most of December. I'm having C3- C7 fused first, with a laminectomy- becuase my Cspine is very tight, the MRI shows that my spinal cord is being compressed. so the surgeon wants to fuse the Cspien first, then correct the scoliosis. Otherwise- there's a risk tht manipulating the lower spine will increase the pressure in the c spine area, leading to upper arm weakness/ paralysis. I have a lot of neck and shoulder pain, too, so I feel at peace with this approach.

As for getting fit before surgery- it's all I can do to work 8 hrs. drive the 50min commute home, an dmake dinner before collapsing into bed or the LazyBoy recliner. I don't exercise - and that frightens me. Itry to walk the dogs, and my back hurts after half a block - no lie, no exaggeration, I try to stretch the opposite direction of the curve, and I force myself to continue the walk - but we're talking two blocks= it's not like i'm doing any good for my body, I just go thru the motions by taking the dogs around the block. I'm going for a cardiac stress test and that scares me too., moving forward, one step at a time...

[Doreen1]

As for getting fit before surgery- it's all I can do to work 8 hrs. drive the 50min commute home, an dmake dinner before collapsing into bed or the LazyBoy recliner. I don't exercise - and that frightens me. Itry to walk the dogs, and my back hurts after half a block - no lie, no exaggeration, I try to stretch the opposite direction of the curve, and I force myself to continue the walk - but we're talking two blocks= it's not like i'm doing any good for my body, I just go thru the motions by taking the dogs around the block. I'm going for a cardiac stress test and that scares me too., moving forward, one step at a time...

Are you able to incorporate some walking time while at work perhaps during your lunchtime? I've had to give up on taking dogs with me on my walks because they pull too much on the leash which is a big strain on my back. Now that I don't have the stress of the dogs, I'm able to walk a bit farther each week. I started out to the end of our block and am now up to 2 miles. Sometimes my daughter or hubby will join me and they might bring the dogs. My surgeon's nurse told me he wants his patients in top cardiac condition prior to surgery. She explained walking is the best exercise, especially if there are hills. I am extremely determined to walk daily with the knowledge that it will help my body tremendous before/during/after my surgery.

Warmly,
Doreen