View Full Version : Wondering if this will really happen

10-23-2010, 08:38 AM
Were almost there - 1 1/2 weeks to go, and DD is really suffering from the stress. I know this is the hardest time - she knows also from being here with her sister last year. She has really held it together, but the anxeity has really gotten a hold of her.

She missed the consult with the Neuosurgeron - just couldn't get out of the car - panic attack - first one ever. I'm hopeful she can gain composure for the week ahead - we have that rescheduled appt, pre- op and otho appt Thurs and Friday. Her surgery is scheduled the following Weds.

I'm not sure how to proceed - if anyone can offer experience please let me know what I can do to help her. This is different in that she is not a child by law (20) so she will need to sign all the paperwork - my other DD was spared all that.

She has been in a great frame of mind to this point - I guess it was a good front, but must have been holding it all in. She really wants this done - has prepare this timeframe to work in her life schedule with college and work. I can't imagine this will be any easier if we have to postpone and reschedule.

Concerned Mom is asking for prayers to get her through this toughest time.


10-23-2010, 12:32 PM
Hi Dee....

You might want to ask your daughter's doctor for some medication. This is a really stressful thing that she's about to undergo. I had to medicate myself in the last few weeks prior to my surgery.

Good luck.


10-23-2010, 04:01 PM
I did too, and it was an enormous help over the months I waited for the surgery. If there is ever a time in your life to take anti-anxiety medication, this is it.

Best of luck to your daughter.

10-23-2010, 04:53 PM
Thanks so much for your responses!!

We have an appt with her GP Monday - I called on Friday and they could not get her in. The Surgeon which appt we miss did give us some Valium for her. It's calming her and she is able to sleep better, but said it's not helped with her anxiety.

Are you able to take meds for anxeity up to and during recovery? She's even more worried that this will postpone her surgery.


10-24-2010, 08:57 AM
Hi, Dee -

My doc told me, since I can't take my menopausal homeopathic supplements pre-surgery, it would be okay to take Xanax for the extreme anxiety I get with hot flashes (I know it's weird, but it's like being stuck in a microwave and being electrocuted at the same time, while getting run over by a truck while my heart is skipping beats like mad).

I'm glad because yesterday the panic over surgery started; after all this time of being calm and resigned, now I can hardly hold back tears and I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin and wanting to scream. The feeling is horrible, and I can only imagine what it's like for your daughter.

For me, Xanax works much better than Valium, and I plan to take it from now until the morning of. You should still ask the doc, but from what I understand, it's common to prescribe Xanax for the night before and morning of surgery to reduce anxiety in patients. It shouldn't be a problem at all, and will be a blessing for your daughter.

10-24-2010, 09:18 AM
Hi, Dee -

My doc told me, since I can't take my menopausal homeopathic supplements pre-surgery

Your doctor told you not to take a homeopathic supplement? Specifically? Are you sure?

The dilution of homeopathic solutions is such that it is pure water, statistically speaking. There can be no atoms of the element or molecules of the compound left after a certain number of serial dilutions.

The homeopathist types admit this but claim the water molecules retain the "memory" of the element or compound, a concept that doesn't exist in chemistry. That's why I don't understand why your surgeon told you not to take what is just water.

There is plenty explanation on this site:


10-24-2010, 10:59 AM
Badkitty - Thanks for the reply, and I read your signature sooo thankful that you took time to help me. I pray for everyone on their special day - just know I will be keeping you close in my thoughts no matter what is going on here that day.

I'm so glad to hear that medication is something people need before surgery. It was never mentioned as a possibility. You'd think that when I asked last time for DD #1 they would have been more understanding and offered, but told me no. I was asking because I didn't think she would be easy to get to the hospital morning of, and the answer was they give her something when she gets there. I didn't think this would be harder for my older DD - out of the two she has handled this better - that was until Thursday. This was a blindside!!

I'm still not sure I'll get DD#2 to her GP appt tomorrow - she is not venturing far from the house - can only get her to take short walks with us - no car rides - but will go myself and see if since they saw her for a check up just a few weeks ago they will prescibe.

Still have everything set for latter part of the week and surgery scheduled for next. However it turns out will be ok - I'm just sorry I never thought of this senario and prepared for it.


10-24-2010, 06:42 PM
Before my daughter had to have her MRI she was having a complete meltdown. I was able to get her into see her primary care physician and he helped calm her fears.

As for valium, they'll likely give her that after the surgery anyway but of course, you'll want to double check with her surgeon. The only meds we were warned not to take were aspirin & ibupropen (advil, motril) due to the increased risk for bleeding.

11-23-2010, 08:28 AM
Well it didn't happen. We are still dealing with anxiety issues from the event, and hoping she will see a doctor soon to get this under control.

I'm not sure if this happens much, but hind sight is certainly clear. We all jumped to spasms due to scoli - Dr's too. but don't think we really were dealing with them - just the tight muscles caused by anxiety attacks.

Been scanning and checking on those of you approaching and healing from surgery - strength and healing prayers sent for you every day.


11-23-2010, 10:34 AM
I am very familiar with anxiety and believe it all started around the time my older sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. My husband and I were also having relationship problems at the time and dealing with the kids and house etc. became so overwhelming to me.

It got to the point where I could hardly leave the house but I had to b/c I needed to drive the kids to and from school as well as grocery shop and prepare meals etc. When I first woke up in the morning I felt not too bad but by mid morning I was restless, couldn't concentrate on anything, paced back and forth like a caged tiger, my hands would sweat and I'd constantly be wringing them. I had panic attacks as well so can somewhat relate to how your daughter feels. After I got home from picking up the kids from school I was a wreck and in order to prepare dinner I literally knocked down two glasses of wine which seemed to calm me down enough to make it through the evening and then I went to bed.

That's when I had my first actual panic attack. I woke up in the night to a pounding heart which I could literally hear in my ears and I thought I was going to die. My husband was very concerned for me and told my sister that I looked crazy like Van Gogh (sp?) and although I wasn't impressed with his humour at the time it became somewhat amusing later on.

Sometimes when I'd have these panic attacks I'd stare at myself in the bathroom mirror and I couldn't believe the physical change that suddenly happened. I could 'feel' the attack coming on and it would start with being lightheaded, clammy, rapid heart, excessive breathing and the blood would literally drain from my face and I looked green/grey. Not only was it a horrible feeling it was downright scary. :eek:

I attempted to go on a school day trip with my son's class to the local fire hall b/c we were walking there and not taking the school bus which was great b/c there's no way I could have sat on that bus b/c I'd feel totally trapped. I was okay with the walk to the fire hall but once I got inside I could feel an attack coming on and I jumped up and hid behind the fire truck and then I saw my son's teacher and I told her I had to leave. She looked at me strange but nodded okay. I bolted through the door, took deep breaths and started walking really fast and it felt good. I knew then I needed help and went to my doctor that afternoon.

As he was examining me and taking my blood pressure he casually asked if there was anything specifically wrong with me and I blurted out the word: anxiety. That's all I could say, one word and then I cried and cried and couldn't stop crying. He said we'd finish the exam another time and he sat and talked to me when I got my clothes back on and he said he felt that I had General Anxiety Disorder and prescribed the antidepressant Paxil. He gave me samples from his office and told me to try them. I think I used up half a box of Kleenex in his office and I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror and it was all red and swollen and I was so embarrassed to go through the waiting room as it was full of people so I asked if I could sneak out the back door. I honestly can't remember if I did or not b/c it was all a blur.

Paxil was my lifesaver and I found instant relief and it made me feel so good that I literally did a 180 and became really happy and the life of the party. Too happy I think, lol.

I was on the Paxil for several months but it had some annoying side effects such as memory loss and I'd bruise really easily. I did have the most fantastic dreams at night though and looked forward to going to sleep so I could enjoy my epic dreams and my cake-eating dreams, mmm, all those tables of cakes tasted good and I didn't even eat sweets in real life, just in my Paxil dreams.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I think I understand what your daughter is going through with the anxiety issue and although anti-anxiety medication does work quickly it isn't long lasting and you can become quite dependent on them so perhaps an antidepressant for your daughter might be an option? There are newer ones out there that don't have the side effects that Paxil does such as Cipralex so I'd have her talk to her doctor about that possibility.

Anxiety is a terrible terrible thing and I'd take depression over it any day of the week, although both do seem to team up together but in my case it was definitely the anxiety that hit me the hardest. I truly feel for your daughter and hope she gets her anxiety under control b/c it's a literal nightmare, at least it was for me.

11-27-2010, 06:04 PM
Elisa -Thanks for your reply! It truely has been a nightmare. This all happened two weeks prior to surgery and of course that didn't happen. Since the first anxiety attack happened on the way to the surgeon's office and the second a few days later going to the GP to see what was happening and hopefully get meds she can't seem to make it to see a doctor. It's been a month now and she is makikg small step to venture outside - I'm hopeful this will be over soon.

This board has always been a way for me to get knowledge - I hope that parents see this post and realize there were no visible signs we noticed prior to the first attack. Hind sight I believe her spasms were part of small anxitey attacks that she could control. As we got closer to surgery she no longer could hold it together. Really wish I saw this coming, but now we will work on getting her to move back into her life.


11-27-2010, 06:49 PM
Hey Dee, yes anxiety is all about feeling helpless and the fear of not being in control and it can be literally paralyzing. I understand so much more about it now but back then I hadn't a clue what was happening to me and my family and friends were really worried and I did do and say some crazy things. That day I was sitting on the examining table waiting for the doctor to come in, I was sweating profusely and kept drying my hands on the paper sheet they put down on the table and I had the whole thing soaked and rumpled by the time the doc came in. At one point I thought there was a hidden video camera in the room and he was taping me so he could discuss with his colleagues how people with extreme anxiety react when left alone for too long in the doc's office, lol. Funny now but it was not back then.

I thought I could just self-talk myself into thinking/appearing that everything was okay and that if I just took deep breaths then I'd get through the appointment. I did pretty well for a good portion of the exam until the doc asked me how I was and then the floodgates of tears opened up and I literally lost all control.

I know that antidepressants are prescribed for depression but they also work wonders on anxiety and you don't have to be on them forever, just to get you through the toughest of times. To pull you up and through so to speak.

That being said, I feel as though that period of extreme anxiety and panic attacks has somehow burned pathways in my brain b/c since then I am prone to anxiety but now that I understand what's going on, I'm having a much better time recognizing my extreme unwarranted fears and can stop myself from freaking out. Usually.

11-27-2010, 08:22 PM

I really feel for you. I have been feeling quite a bit of anxiety leading up to this ordeal, too-but not to the extent you are dealing with. It is funny how we can handle more stress for ourselves, but it is a different story when it involves our kids. You feel so darn helpless and just want to HELP. Hang in there! I sure hope it all settles down for you and yours. I really have no advice to help you with, but just want you to know we are pulling for you!

11-27-2010, 09:05 PM
I really think that once you've experienced moderate/extreme anxiety that you're definitely more prone to further episodes. As mentioned, once you get those patterns burned in your brain, they're like old tapes that keep playing back when faced with some sort of fear or worry. I know I catch myself a lot when my kids walk out the door each morning on their way to school and then I hear a siren and I immediately think something might have happened to them and I get a sick feeling in my stomach and I imagine the worst.

I find myself saying each and every day, goodbye, love you, be careful crossing the road. I think that if I don't perform this ritual every morning something might happen to them and then I'd feel so bad that I didn't tell them to be careful when crossing the road. This is called "magical thinking" and although it relieves my pent up anxiety, the ritual isn't going to change anything and I know that but I still do it.

It's like a switch that goes off and I can't help it but I'm learning to understand it, deal with it and accept it.