Here comes everyone's 2 cents...

[lray]

I knew I would be getting comments from people once they learned of my upcoming surgery and I'm trying to put on my raincoat and let it all run off. Why do people think that they know it all? Do they really think that someone who is about to have major surgery wants their input? I work in a medical office so everyone's an expert in scoliosis . Here's just a sample of what kind of comments I have had from my co-workers in just the last 2 days!

"Do you have to do something so drastic?"
"I guess your doctor knows what he's doing..."
"Did you get a second opinion?"
"WHOA! Their fusing your spine??"
"Why are you doing this if you're not in bad pain?"
"Oh it sounds just horrible!"

...and on it goes.

I am exhausted from being defensive. Thank goodness I've kept this quiet as long as I did and I'm relieved that today is my last day at work. I'm really stressed and anxious like eveyone else here on this forum before surgery and the negative energy is not welcome. Thank goodness my close friends and husband are supportive, and YES!, thank goodness for this forum.

I've been re-reading Dave Wolpert's book once again (this is probably my 4th time!) and it really calms me down. I know this has been repeated here many times, but NO ONE knows what it's like to be in our shoes and having to make a decision whether or not to have this surgery.

Four more hours to go and I'm outta here!

[Davis]

I know well what you mean about the negative comments and such. lucky for me, no one is really like that anymore to me. I let it all run off anyway so it shouldn't even matter what anybody else thinks. People are people and they love drama and everyone else knows it all and what is best and blah blah blah. The best of luck to you and bless you.

[debbei]

Laurie,
people can be so insensitive and stupid. Although, most of them mean well. I went throught the same thing, and thanks to you I went down memory lane and found the post where I complained about the same issue:

http://www.scoliosis.org/forum/showthread.php?t=7452


THey will come around. Remember they are shocked too. ((Hugs))

[JamieAnn]

wow, funny that it is your last day too! My surgery is Tuesday (just posted a separate post about trying to avoid getting sick!).

Best of luck! Looking forward to hearing about your recovery!

PS I am getting a lot of the same looks/comments. I can't imagine having this surgery rescheduled/canceled and having to come back to work next week after all of this!

[ddb]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery

Dee

[Singer]

I kept a small photo of my x-ray in my purse and sometimes whipped it out to show anybody who thought I was crazy for having surgery....that usually silenced them.

But really, I have to say that before I scheduled my own back surgery, I was appalled whenever I heard of somebody ELSE having it....it's just human nature. And people tend to open their mouths and speak before they think.

[Jacque's Mom]

Dave Wolpert's book

Laurie (and anyone else who has read Wolpert's book) - I have never read it but wondering if I should as I am having revision surgery beginning of December. The last few days I have been extremely anxious and emotional (I cry at the drop of a hat) and wondering if the information will be helpful for me as I have to get myself together since I have a few more months wait.

I completely understand about the comments. My original surgery people had either a ridiculous comment or a cure. That is why I have only told my boss and a few others as I don't want to have to explain to anyone.....again. Some of people are still at my office when I had my first surgery (almost 30 years ago) and I don't want to have to go down that road again....

I wish you the best with your surgery. I will keep you in my prayers, along with everyone else on this forum. My rosary beads have been getting a huge workout lately!

Lynn

[Lorraine 1966]

lfay, just wanting to wish you all the very, very best Also to the rest of you on here who have mentioned you are having surgery. Unless people have walked in our shoes they really have no right to judge. I agree, you certainly do not need any negativity around you, just all positive thoughts. So sending you all heaps of those plus scoli hugs.

Lorraine

[Lorz]

Laurie,

None of those people have to live with your back. Thay can't possibly understand.The people who are really important in your life will understand, the rest don't matter. You are doing what is right for you. I think you are very strong and courageous. Best of Luck, we are all rooting for you!

[kennedy]

I think you are very strong and courageous0
People at the high school i went to was mean to me all time i just told them to be quiet or i will tell the prineabal

[Shari]

I'm always amazed when this subject is brought up. It is so true, all of a sudden everyone's a "medicine man", when what they really are is "stuck on stupid"!!! No one ever questions people with cancer when they go through chemo, have a knee or hip replaced, etc.

I love Chris' idea of carring a picture of her spinal xray, wish I would have thought of that!!! Maybe because we are a small percentage of the population, people can't understand. I think that because we are hard working intellegent people that are hiding our condition, and when we bust out of the bubble, they are shocked.

Take Iray's list of questions and pretend it's cancer, it would never happen.

Time for me to shut up,
Shari

[Davis]

Again Shari, ditto ... accept for the carrying around a picture. Not saying it's not a good idea for anyone, but for me I'd just say, hmmm, how do you say? ... "I don't need to prove myself to you"? Whatever works though. Stay strong lray.

[foofer]

I think people just ask and advise without a lot of thought when it comes to medical conditions. I may have done it a time or two myself.

Years ago I had knee surgery and was on crutches for quite awhile. By the end of the 8 weeks, I was so tired of answering the exact same questions all day every day that I was thinking of having a t shirt made up of numbered answers to the questions.... 1. Tore my ACL. 2. Jumping around in a dance class. 3. Dr ...... in Vail. 4. 8 weeks. These days when I see someone on crutches I have to fight myself not to ask them the same stupid questions and sometimes I forget.

Maybe you could have some fun with it........ Tell them you are having cosmetic surgery on your back....a Spine Lift....You can say you have always wanted to be just a little bit taller and you found a wonderful doctor who does amazing things with spines.

And cancer survivors aren't even exempt. Last year my best friend went through a breast cancer ordeal resulting in full mastectomy. We would walk in the mornings and she gave me the rundown of moronic questions and advice she received. Unbelievable.

And we have to listen and be polite. How about, "Shut up. I'm having this operation. Deal with it."

OK, fantasy over.....

[Vali]

You know.............it's these same uneducated, insensitive individuals whom are giving you all this advice (which they have NO IDEA about) that run to their Doc with the sniffles!................

[gmw]

Ditto..... I had the same type of questions. Questions that caused me to doubt I was making the right decision. Finally decided it's my back and a decision no one can make for me. They have no idea what they would do in our situation.