How much is too much?

[babyboomer16]

You know I don't have the lugury of a surgeon that has ever called to see how I am doing or a nurse that has time for me. So I am going to ask you guys . I had surgery July 1st. I had rods put in from my pelvic bone to T8. aND ALL THE PLATES ,SCREWS AND some other stuff down in the L4/5 AREA.(PLASTC DISC OR SOMETHING). Anyway, I have LOTS of pain yet. But I do lots of light housework. And maybe too much. I just don't know. I know I lean forward too much. And I don't have much help. I'm 58 and married to a farmer. He tries to help-but is too busy right now. So I have this habit of doing things myself. I do have an appt. Aug. 17th. My surgeon is 200 mi. away. Just seems I should be better than this. I know I am probably rushing things. This was a wicked surgery. I feel so useless and depressed. I have never felt this way. I cry a lot. I am terribly short with my hubby-and its not his fault. I hate the fact that I am so disabled. It has to get better. Please tell me it is going to.. BB16

[JenM]

Hi Babyboomer-

I had to reply to your thread because it almost brought me to tears. I had my surgery on June 8th, so it was a few weeks before yours. I am now 9 weeks post op. Just last week for the first time I felt a little better. I have to tell you, it gets better week by week. I think 8 weeks was a break through week for me too. I also do way too much housework because I don't have much help. I have a 3 and 5 year old so since they are very active, I rarely get a break. I think that's why some people feel better earlier on since they get alot of help and just get to rest and relax.

I also have to tell you that I weaned myself off the oxycontin at 5 or 6 weeks post-op. I felt sooo depressed and cried almost everyday. I have never been depressed my entire life. I totally regretted the surgery at 5/6 weeks post-op but now that I am 9 weeks I do not, even though I am having huge neck issues. I promise you it will get better week by week. I agree that this was a WICKED surgery and I didn't expect the recovery to be this bad. Since you are not able to drive early on and are isolated in the house, it becomes very depressing. I also believe the pain meds bring on the depression as well. I am now only on 1 or 2 step down narcotics. I'd like to even get off of those but that's the only way I feel like I can take care of and handle my kids.

Keep your chin up! It will get better. You came to the right place. This is a great place to vent. There are sooo many people hear reading and will uplift your spirits. They have been in the same place as you in the early stages of recovery and totally understand.

Hope you feel better soon! ((Hugs)).

JenM

[Susie*Bee]

Hi BB16. I'm so sorry you are feeling so discouraged right now. This is a very big surgery. During the first several weeks you have to just take it easy and let your body heal. You really shouldn't be trying to do housework. The world won't come to an end if things get dusty or the floors aren't swept. (I know, because mine get that way, and life goes on!) All your energy needs to go to healing. And you'll gradually get your strength and abilities back. Did your surgeon tell you not to bend, lift, and twist for awhile? That is what most of us are told.

Try to be easy on yourself and take shortcuts. This might seem like cheating, since you are used to doing things from scratch and being very thorough, but right now your main priority is to get better the quickest way you can, and that is by taking good care of yourself. The best way to do that is to take it easy and let yourself heal properly. Eat well, walk (it has healing effects), and rest. Don't strain yourself by doing housework and jobs that require you to tire yourself out or to use movements that you shouldn't do. I never buy frozen foods, I always cook from scratch, but at a time like this, you have to prioritize and change. If you don't have someone bringing meals over to you or helping you out, then go simple at the grocery store and buy convenience foods. It's important. Please take care of yourself. It really is a whopping big surgery and we all do really poorly to begin with, but then we all get better. It just takes awhile. Hang in there. Gentle hugs, Susie

[JenniferG]

Great advice from Susie. I want to emphasis also, the fact that you are very early in your recovery so you will improve lots yet. It sounds like you weren't forewarned for a long recovery, by your doctor?

I think sometimes the medication makes some patients feel depressed and for others, when they get off it, they have a bout of depression. Apart from the meds, you've just undergone a huge physical (and mental) shake-up (the build up to surgery is cruel.) Now that it's over, it's hard to sit around waiting to get your old life back. But it will happen, it's just that everyone is different and sometimes that wait can result in depression too. We see the word depression quite frequently on this forum.

Fortunately for most, it's short-lived. It wouldn't hurt to tell your GP how you're feeling. I bet she/he can help.

Don't expect too much from yourself just yet. Good luck!

[debbei]

Hi BB,

yes I think you're doing too much. Like the others said, do as little as possible. A dirty house won't kill you. You are SO early in recovery and things will improve for you, but you do need to rest and take care of yourself.

Since your dr's office isn't answering questions, feel free to ask our advice on anything. We've all been there and might be able to help.

((Hugs))

[LindaRacine]

Hi BB16...

I definitely think that it's 1) too early to be doing any housework and 2) thinking that your pain should be less. I know it's difficult not to do housework, but the world will not come to an end because your carpets haven't been vacuumed. Do yourself a favor and stop doing housework. Your time should be spent in a combination of sitting, standing, and walking, with occasional rest periods in-between as needed. It should not be spent lifting, twisting, or bending.

Hope things get better soon.

Regards,
Linda

[Doodles]

Ditto to all of the above! Slow down and take time to heal. It takes time. Good luck to you. Janet

[Shari]

Hi BB16,

I can't help myself, I have to jump in. I agree with everything everyone has already said!!! My Dr. told me from the start, that I would hate him for the first 3 months. I had 5 discs, a rib and some hip bone removed and 6 days later fused T-1 to L-5. I was 45 years old.

I think the majority of us are strong, independent, intellegent people that have managed to work hard most of our lives, while fighting the pain at all times. You are used to taking care of everyone else, now it's time to take care of YOU! Listen to what we all are saying here, and I know it's hard to do. Your body really does need to heal itself first. You need to give your body the chance to heal as well. I personally think that you may be slowing your recovery by not resting.

I used to cry alot because things weren't going as fast as I had hoped. It is so easy to get depressed when you have to be dependent on someone else.
I know your husband is out in the fields doing hay, repairs and taking care of the livestock and/or crops, it's hot and he's tired. Is their anyone that can help him or help you for a few weeks??? If we didn't know or care what you're going through, we wouldn't say a word!!!

Please Take Care,
Shari

[Vali]

Ditto from me too on the above posts anmd double ditto (if possible) to 2nd paragraph in Sharis' post.

[dolores a]

Hello and welcome to the forum! A lot of members have mentioned in their posts how they would e-mail their surgeons with any questions or concerns. Some surgeons are the best at what they do, but they don't have that "bedside manner", but I would try calling the office or get the e-mail address. I'm sure though, they would have the same advise you received here about taking it a bit easier on yourself in these few months after your surgery, it is so important to your healing. If you can, you should get outside and walk as much as you can, it will help also with the post-surgery depression, which I know I can relate to. Keep on posting, it also helps a great deal to see that a lot of us are and have gone through what you are experiencing now.

[dianeh]

FHi everyone. Last week for the first time since my Jan. 2006 surgery, I actually said out loud that I wished I hadn't done it. My rods are feeling heavier and I am tired. I have had some rough months being recently diagnosed with migraines and have headaches that send me to bed up to 5 days a week. I'm seeing a headache specialist and I'm on my 3rd daily migraine med plus a triptan. The last 4 days have been better. Apparently I'm allergic to all milk products including yogurt, string cheese,cottage cheese and I'm on an elimination diet to figure out other triggers. My eyes shut the morning after I eat any of these(I now have an epiPen) My face is looking much better since eliminating the dairy.

Simultaneously, I started spotting and just had a one day surgical procedure yesterday to rule out endometrial cancer. It will take a week to get the results.
I hope I don't need to have a hysterectomy.


The 3rd thing was my one year bloodwork for the spinal abscess I had in 2008. Since I'm feeling pretty well I was shocked to hear that my sed rate was elevated. The infectious disease doctor said we'll wait and see if I get sick before repeating it. Now I wonder whether it's 50/50 or he's thinking it's coming back.

So, it seems I have alot on my plate right now and naturally I've been pretty anxious. I'm hoping and praying that all will be well because I've had at least one surgery per year since the original fusion in 2006. Somehow, I made it through 2009 with no surgery!!

I know I've written alot so thanks to all of you who read this. I feel badly reading about everyone's pain and wish you all the best. On the whole I really don't regret the fusion, I've just had a difficult few months. I really want and need to get back to teaching piano and leading the children's choir at my church.
See part two-dianeh

[dianeh]

Part 2
I realized I left out my main point and was unable to edit it with the number of words I needed.
What do people do to keep their muscles strong when getting sick etc., needing bedrest or less activity. I rotate walking, Wii, stretching and lifting 5lb weights.
When I get hit with something like the recent migraine diagnosis I literally have to crawl to the treadmill and force myself to do something. It does often help but not always and I'm exhausted afterwards even if I did 15-20 minutes. Then all my muscles contract on each side of the rod and I have to sit down until it passes.

As long as I don't get sick my muscles are fine-but it's alot of work to exercise almost every day. Does anyone else have this experience? (Of course I've had many unique experiences since my fusion, but still!!)
dianeh

[LindaRacine]

Hi Diane...

That's very brave. I think I know how difficult it must be to say it. Having agreed to such a big surgery, it's hard to now say it was a mistake. But, sometimes it is. Not that you actually made a bad decision, even though you feel that way now, but I hope your words make others considering surgery think twice about it. While surgery is often the best or only option for many, it doesn't always end in the kind of outcome we all desire.

I hope you find solutions to all your troubles.

Regards,
Linda