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  • Post Surgery Rut

    It's been about 6 1/2 weeks since my initial surgery of a T3 - L3 spinal fusion and about 5 weeks since the doctor went back in to debride the spine and remove the bone graft due to a possible infection. I've been on heavy duty IV antibiotics at home since the second surgery which have made me feel yucky. I will go back to surgery in two weeks (August 16) to have my bone graft (hopefully) replaced.

    It seems like I've hit a setback during the last week. If I didn't have to go back to surgery and start recovery from square one, I think I would be a lot more motivated. The anitibiotics also seem to suck the energy out of me. It has been an internal struggle to make myself get up and do therapy. It is so much "easier" to just lay around and sleep. This hint of depression is not like me and I HATE feeling this way. I know that part of it also is that this week will be my Mom's first birthday and anniversary since my Dad passed away unexpectedly in December. It has been difficult for me (and my siblings) to see my Mom dealing with the emotions of these "firsts" without her husband.

    I do want to clarify that I am not, by any means, depressed enough to warrant medical attention, I just needed to vent to someone who's been through a recovery like this. What are some of the things you did to help "get over" the ruts during your long recovery period?

  • #2
    Hi Jenny,

    I haven't been there yet, but I can say that just talking about it like you are is one major step towards getting out of the rut. I would also imagine getting out for walks or seeing friends even briefly will help.

    It sounds like you had a really rough year, and I also think that it's ok to feel this way and it will not be forever. Once you feel better physically the emotions will subside and you will start to feel better overall.

    Best of luck and take each day at a time!

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    • #3
      JennyRN,
      I felt similar to you for a long time. Being cooped up inside by yourself and no where to go and not FEELING like going anywhere is very hard. I even take anti-depressants and still felt this way. Hope you feel better soon.
      Janet
      36 year young cardiac RN
      old curve C 29, T 70, L 50
      new curve C 7, T 23, L 20
      Surgery June 11, UCH, Dr. Cronen T2-L5, posterior
      Revision December 20 L5-S1 with pelvic fixation
      and Osteotomy to L3 at Tampa General Hospital

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree, coming here and venting to people who understand is a healthy thing to do. There's no denying it, for some more than others, this recovery is very rough. Whilst understanding your feelings, I can't emphasise enough though, to look to the future when this stage of your life will be over and life will be back to normal but much better in so many ways. It's just the getting there. But it will happen.

        I've had two bouts of depression in my life, the first when I was told I needed the surgery, and secondly, when I was going through withdrawals and was dizzy for 6-7 weeks.

        You're in the middle of a difficult recovery Jenny and you have every right to feel down. But this time won't last forever. Before long you'll be back to seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. When you do, don't take your eye off it.
        Surgery March 3, 2009 at almost 58, now 63.
        Dr. Askin, Brisbane, Australia
        T4-Pelvis, Posterior only
        Osteotomies and Laminectomies
        Was 68 degrees, now 22 and pain free

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        • #5
          Hi Jenny-

          I totally can relate to you. My entire life I have never experienced depression but I have to say for the past 3 weeks I have been experiencing it badly. I think it is more because of what is happening to my neck as opposed to my back. This is such a hard recovery and I never would have thought it was this slow. This week I am feeling a little better because my mom has been coming to my house instead of my sitter who went on vacation. I am not driving so I have been cooped up in my house for the past 7 weeks feeling VERY isolated. The past 3 days I actually left my house. Today for 2 hours I went back to school shopping at the GAP with my mom and just strolled the mall. I felt sooo much better doing something like this. When I am home all I want to do is sleep too. My advice is to try to get out during the day, even if it's just for an hour. When I got home from the mall, I was soooo wiped out I had to take a 2 hour nap!! I had so much energy before the operation and now I feel so depleted of energy. That makes me depressed too. I also found that just taking a 20 minute walk outside helps your mood.

          Please stay in touch!! Good luck in Aug(I forget the exact date you are having the surgery).

          JenM
          Surgery date: June 8, 2010 with Dr. Boachie
          Thoracic curve: 55 degrees, corrected to 25 degrees
          Lumbar curve: 58 degrees, corrected to 27 degrees
          Posterior-only surgery, Levels T3-L3
          31 year old mother of 2 young kids

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          • #6
            Hi Jenny - What you are feeling is so normal, and you are doing sooo good this soon after surgery. I too had been on an antibiotic drip due to infection. Had the second surgery 4 weeks after my first. I have been off the drip for about 3 weeks now, but they put me on an oral antibiotic for a year now.
            It is only since going off the IV that i am starting to feel good. I still have alot of soreness and am beginning to wonder if it will get better. I know it will, but it is hard. I had a brief start to depression, but started getting out and really trying to get life back. That helped so much. When I was able to get out and meet friends for lunch and do a little shopping, my spirits lifted dramatically!! I also have been reading alot. I still have to lay down on the couch throughout the day. But then I feel guilty, but I have too.
            I go to my surgeon this week for another check. I have a list of questions for him!
            I still do not know how these remarkable women here on the forum, do this with being a Mom to young kids. I just can't imagine it, but I do know we do what has to be done when we're in it.
            Shari B.
            Shari - 55 years old
            Pre-Surgery 62 degree thorasic curve with shifting.
            Post op 13 degree curve.
            Successful surgery 4/15/10, T3-L2 fused.
            2nd surgery to reopen incision 10" to diagnose infection, 5/18/10
            Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, MI - the late Dr. Harry Herkowitz
            www.scoliosisthejourney.com

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            • #7
              Hi Jenny...

              I am also not the type for depression, but during a serious illness about ten years ago (I was also on IV antibiotics coincidentally), I found myself feeling really down. Because it was so foreign to me, I was able to know it when I saw it. Fortunately, it was very short-lived.

              While you have to undergo additional surgery, I hope it won't be much of a setback. Most of the pain from the initial surgery is from the insult to the spine; both the implants and the correction of your deformity. So, while I think you might have some pain from the incision,
              I hope it will be a lot less than the original surgery.

              Regards
              Linda
              Never argue with an idiot. They always drag you down to their level, and then they beat you with experience. --Twain
              ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
              Surgery 2/10/93 A/P fusion T4-L3
              Surgery 1/20/11 A/P fusion L2-sacrum w/pelvic fixation

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              • #8
                Thank you all. I greatly appreciated you taking the time to listen to me. Your encouragement helps. And hopefully after my surgery in two weeks, I won't have to do the IV antibiotics again and can have a really speedy recovery!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi Jenny,

                  Your thread caused the mirrors in my mind to reflect back to my post-op memories. I have tears in my eyes and my heart wants to reach out and hug you. Wow!!!

                  As a RN, you are used to taking care of everyone else. And like most of us on here, you are a strong intellegent person that has had to fight through years of hiding your pain and condition. It's hard to reverse the role, and I do think it can naturally make us depressed. Forgive me if I seem to ramble and wander around right now.

                  I'm just flooded with so many thoughts, I can't even put them in any kind of order. So I guess I need to stop talking before I make no sense at all. But, if you are like me, and finally decided to make the huge decision, feeling fairly well educated and prepared about what I was getting myself into, and then "Murphy's Law" steps in and takes over.

                  You will be in my thoughts and prayers, I can only hope that continue to vent here. And I'll keep checking this thread.

                  Sorry if I sound like a complete idiot right now,
                  Shari

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