Debra JGL's running thread on nursing care in hospital prompted this question. Upon reflection, though, I don't think I'll get the needed responses there, piggy-backing. Hence this thread. I really need help thinking through this important issue. Every child/son is different for sure, but there are enough commonalities for your responses to contribute greatly. I want to be realistic and fair to all.
In hospital, do you think a nurse or "registered nurse's assistant" is necessary if you have a family member with you at night? What - specifically - about a young adult son (almost 22)? If he can stay awake, could HE "work the night shift"? And what about help later on?
I am concerned about two things:
1) whether he'd be up to it in terms of my medical needs
2) whether he'd be up to it in terms of the emotional stress.
Sub-topic has to do with personal needs too. This must REALLY be out at his age, right? Not that it appeals to me, but family finances/my safety ARE an issue.
Re #1. Will I need someone very medically alert and experienced to keep on top of meds, danger signs and so on?
Also (if not a paid aide) do I really need a same sex family member for help with personal care (toileting, etc.)?
Re#2 My understanding is that in the initial recovery period, the patient is pretty "out of it". That would leave my son with enormous responsibility, medically. What's more, I worry that despite his most appreciated willingness to help, seeing me in that condition, might be too traumatic for him. Too stressful.
I've read here about spouses who passed out seeing their wives post surgically - uncontrollable sensitivity to the sight of blood and radical changes in physical appearance, obvious major pain etc.
If so, all the more true for a scarcely adult child with any degree of emotional fragility. It seems to me most children are apt to have trouble coping with a severely impaired mom. Just seeing his "Rock" temporarily reduced to pebbles, is bound to be disturbing. Also simply feeling "too needed". It's very early for role reversal, even short term.
Those of you with children, especially around that age (and especially sons) what do you think? Nb SIL would be the primary care-giver, but she needs sleep too What's more, she might need to leave early in recovery. What could my son do then, without damage to him or me?
In hospital, do you think a nurse or "registered nurse's assistant" is necessary if you have a family member with you at night? What - specifically - about a young adult son (almost 22)? If he can stay awake, could HE "work the night shift"? And what about help later on?
I am concerned about two things:
1) whether he'd be up to it in terms of my medical needs
2) whether he'd be up to it in terms of the emotional stress.
Sub-topic has to do with personal needs too. This must REALLY be out at his age, right? Not that it appeals to me, but family finances/my safety ARE an issue.
Re #1. Will I need someone very medically alert and experienced to keep on top of meds, danger signs and so on?
Also (if not a paid aide) do I really need a same sex family member for help with personal care (toileting, etc.)?
Re#2 My understanding is that in the initial recovery period, the patient is pretty "out of it". That would leave my son with enormous responsibility, medically. What's more, I worry that despite his most appreciated willingness to help, seeing me in that condition, might be too traumatic for him. Too stressful.
I've read here about spouses who passed out seeing their wives post surgically - uncontrollable sensitivity to the sight of blood and radical changes in physical appearance, obvious major pain etc.
If so, all the more true for a scarcely adult child with any degree of emotional fragility. It seems to me most children are apt to have trouble coping with a severely impaired mom. Just seeing his "Rock" temporarily reduced to pebbles, is bound to be disturbing. Also simply feeling "too needed". It's very early for role reversal, even short term.
Those of you with children, especially around that age (and especially sons) what do you think? Nb SIL would be the primary care-giver, but she needs sleep too What's more, she might need to leave early in recovery. What could my son do then, without damage to him or me?
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